An open journal by me

With this site being dead and over run with spam, i suppose it wouldn't hurt if i did this. An open journal of sorts a place for me to write down my thoughts likely to be lost. Others can view it and comment if they wish but that's unlikely. reflecting into the void of sorts

i wonder how many of the members i considered "friends" still occasionally lurk here, primarily Apple Scruff and Snoopy66.

apon much thought and talks with my husband i have decided its best if I cut ties with my mom, i still wish to keep contact with my dad. I'll write a letter with my reasons and send it to her this November (around my birthday)

in the past year and a half or so I've realized I'm gender fluid though I'm not picky on pronouns.

I've decided to try adult speech therapy, im 25 and still have trouble with my Rs I get self conscious about it. That and in the past both a teacher's aid and my mom yelled at me to "learn how to speak" another reason for the above mentioned cutting ties.

I still wish to be a writer though I've stepped away from fan fiction. i have pieces of different ideas... fragments. plot points, some world building, characters with back stories but with no names. Yet i cannot settle on an over arching storyline. Perhaps doing some writing exercises would help get ideas flowing. This open journal might help as well. i used to journal A LOT when I was in middle/ high school (I admit at times when I was supposed to be doing work)

I'll update this from time to time

my work is likely going to do a 2 week strike. (im a house keeper at a nursing home) at least if we do i'll still get paid 80% of my normal py via the union as long as i picket. It would also give me time to catch up on personal house keeping around the apartment. I highly enjoyed the 24 hour picket. The one union rep told me that eventhough its my first union job i did a great job.

My husband and i are looking to move out of our small apartment, preferably a house. we'll each have an area/ room for our hobbies. As despite our love we still have introvert tendencies. my room i have dubbed my "hippy lair" which I have it mentaly planned out in my head. Id have taprasties on my walls which trinkets and such pinned to those. An L desk is preferable so id have room to draw/write as well as my computer. I love to have a youtube video as background nose while on my type writter.Id spend my days off here.

my husbands area would be his work shop (he makes blades. bows and the such) look him on FB Over the Edge Blades.

we recently adopted a kitten from one of my co workers named him Hobbs and he bats at our older cat's tail as it swishes.

been a while since i've updated just tired from work. which they settled on a union contract, so we didn't do a 2 week strike. we are supposed to get a bonus soon. I'm getting faster at my job, normally getting done with my tasks a little early so my remaining time i chill in the break room. writing while i listing to music.

Though not mentioned in my last to journal posts i have no shame in admiting i enjoy some elicit substances (not counting pot as thats legal where i am) still nothing to crazy and makes me feel more at peace. more calm.i can relax more after work/ on days off. calm enough to draw, if only i could think of what i want to draw. lol.

husband and i celebrated our 2 year anniversary recently and my 26th birthday is coming up (Nov 7) likely will get art supply. meditating more again too

had an ok birthday, got chalk pastels. found a neat art desk online its pricy, so think my husband and i will make a copy of it. looks easy enough. We'd like to get my dad to hel but have a hard time etting a hold of him. we have reason the believe that my mom had my brother block us on his phone. long story short my mom is controlling and my dad is getting fed up with it. im still working on my long leter to her which will effectively cut ties with her. Still wish to keep contact with my dad ust need a better way to do so. Unfortunately he doesn't have Facebook, or any social media.

while i work i'm allowed to listen to music and such, as long as i have one, not both ear buds in. ive read and enjoyed the works of Hunter S Thompson so recently i've been listening to audiobooks of his works (likely some unofficial audio books) i have off both Thanksgiving and black friday. A local radio station near me each year on black friday has A-Z of the Beatles . https://www.97rock.com/ here you can listen online don't know what time it starts this year. there have been years it starts at 7am and others 9am (Eastern standard time)

Originally Posted by the ninth walrus

had an ok birthday, got chalk pastels. found a neat art desk online its pricy, so think my husband and i will make a copy of it. looks easy enough. We'd like to get my dad to hel but have a hard time etting a hold of him. we have reason the believe that my mom had my brother block us on his phone. long story short my mom is controlling and my dad is getting fed up with it. im still working on my long leter to her which will effectively cut ties with her. Still wish to keep contact with my dad ust need a better way to do so. Unfortunately he doesn't have Facebook, or any social media.

I'm sorry this is happening, Walrus.

hey thanks GG haven't seen you around in a long while. while im here i'll place an entry. been listening to the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series on audiobook while at work. im part way through the 5th one "mostly harmless" at work we are supposed to be getting a 3,000 bonus just no idea when. hopefully soon as to catch up on some bills. after getting new tires for my car that's when the wheel barring decides to break. i left a note for my supervisor asking if i can use some of my PTO to save on cab fair untill i can get that fixed.

finished listening to the hitchhiker's guide series. the fourth one "so long and thanks for all the fish" is in my opinion the weakest. sure the chemistry between Arthur and Fenchurch is sweet. and Marvin had a moment of happiness. but it was just meh. The rest are great, my favorite being the third.

still getting the wheel barring on my car fixed. My husband wanted to take in to someone who can do it cheaper. though its taking longer. not an actual garage it been a pain to get a hold of him to get an update. He has worked on our car before and does good work. just sucks at being able to be reached. My husband is less annoyed with this as he doesn't need to get anywhere (looking for work) he doesn't take this into consideration. i need to remember he doesn't think like a typical person (he's on the spectrum)

started listening to the Discworld series. Going in publishing order rather than character lines. So im on the forth one "Mort"

Wow it's been a while so we ended up taking the car to an actual garage because the other guy was being an ass.

Our apartment we were in flooded (sewage backup coming in from the bathroom) this unfortunately wasn't uncommon for this places bottom units l. Fed up we didn't pay ass the landlord didn't care about this issue among other issues. Tried to fight eviction in court faild. Currently staying in a portion of a house a friend of ours is having renovated. (Actually his dad's house) until we find a place. it's not bad but small

it's been a while. renovations had to continue at the friend's dad's place so we couldn't stay there anymore. stayed at a shelter for a bit though the one we stayed at only allowed about two-three weeks so we timed out. hotel/motel hopped for a bit with the help from my MIL. finally got into a new apartment (again with the help from my MIL) was able to get a new laptop for xmass. got a gamecube controller to use with my emulator, just waiting on the adaptor. happy new years fellow apple scruffs.

Nice to see someone at least trying to sustain a bit of life around here. :) I just recently got back in the Beatles forum frame of mind after a long time away. Looked around and found this and Beatlegdb, along with dmbeatles. Would have thought that there was at least anough Beatles interest to keep 3 forums busy, but obviously not.

Beatlegdb gets most of the traffic, while dmbeatles seems a bit distant 2nd, and of course beatlelinks is all but brain dead. I guess I missed the spam days, as I have encountered none what-so-ever since joining recently. Maybe I just have great spamware, lol. Tried joing dmbeatles, but have never gotten a reply back regarding my membership attempt. Cannot sign in, nor reattempt to join with the same email address, and can't find a way to contact anyone associated with the site to ask what is going on. Oh, well.

Great to see your journal. Sort of like happening upon another person on an otherwise desolate planet after a nuclear war, lol. I've tried making a number of seemingly pertinent posts, but nobody, and I mean nobody wants to play.

Well, hope things are going okay for you. Maybe see you around the universe some day. Stranger things have happened.

i too remember when this site was more lively. back when it was more active there was two other members, Applescruff and snoopy66 along with my self that would write fanfiction among the John Lennon pic spams. so i use the husk of this site as to cast my thoughts into the void for the most part. guess i see it more like casting random thoughts as notes in bottles. so yea, see you Across the universe and these are strange days indeed.

that being said time for that venting

things havnt been going well for my husband and i. i meantioned ealier about getting into ilicit substancess. while i did it, i admit i romantisized it. though after seeing how low we sunk i wanted to stop. he dosnt and is falling into "oh we can just do it in moderation" mind set. this is despite the fact he has a batchlores degree in phycology with focus on addiction. He should know that's a bueatiful lie additcts tell themselfs. the other day i threw away both are pipes. it got him in a shitty mood but i dont care. there hsve been times where he (and i guess my self to) put that prioity over getting a good amount on groceries or even cat food. (they never completly went with out)

Go right ahead and vent. This certainly seems like the appropriate place for it.

Boy, best of luck on the supplemental intake issue. I went through a short lasted issue myself long time ago, and am glad I got it all behind me. It took me finally looking at everyone else who was doing the same, and then realizing that I must look exactly as they do when hurting from it. That immediately gave me the resolve to end it. Can't say the temptation completely went away, but I still remember how I must have come across in the bad times, and I did not want to repeat that.

Best of luck, and keep on yelling at the universe. It may just fall into the right ear. :)

thank you i needed that i'm still trying to fully break free. i missed a pipe that i couldn't find when i tossed the other two. if i get the opertunity i'll get rid of that one too. it pisses him off but it for the better. he's never gotten physical with me. though useing has taken a toll on our relationship. He say's it hasnt and im just looking for a scapegoat. though it has i feel less in love with him. btw love your sig you hoopy frood

it seems like the property manager think our downstairs nighbors dog is ours. the other day got an email asking if we recently got a dog. We haven't we just have our two cats. i have reportedly been "seen walking a brown pit bull" which again we don't have. We do know the downstairs neighbors have a dog as we hear it, don't know what kind though.

Free relationships, no obligations
Verified Ladies

shoo you

still trying to resist the pipe. luckily i don't get phyical symtoms of withdrawl unlike my husband. i just get mental withdrawl mainly boredome/low mood. So if i can find a way to distract my self from that i can get off it. On a positive note, this past friday i had my first photoshoot (paid as well) done by a former coworker of my husband. this man photos nude modles for his website. Will be doing more as he was very profesional. Plus it was a nice confidence booster. Still looking for a regualr job though. However if that could bring in enough income i'd much rather do that. (trying to avoid custamer service)

well the pipe using is done. one of the other neighbors pot smoking led to the hospitleization of another neighbors kid. (luckly they were OK in the end) That understandably led to a mass warning email to all tenets that if any smoking is done in the building that would be INSTANT eviction. So that finaly got my husband to switch to the snortable veriation of what we do. This, at least according to him will make it easier to weine off it. i can keep off it i have my healthy addiction (and leagal) to take it's place, spicy food. i have more photoshoots for the modeling gig mentioned in the previous entry. As he tapiers off that will hopefully begin the healing of our relationship. I feel at ease now that the pipes are out of the appartment.

edit to add that, ealier today he and I smelled the pot smell outside our the one neighbors door. We notified the landlord, ordinarly we woudln't but seeing as 1. it's putting another's child at risk and 2. we have gotten blamed for thier pot smell in the past. (it wasn't pot we were smoking as you could have guessed) that too could have gotten us evicted.

things fell apart with my husband for a bit as i quit useing drugs and he continued (yes cut down but still costing a lot) which led for me to nearly completly fall out of love with him. This past Monday in the wee hours of the morning we had an arguement. to which i had left to stay with a guy i had been forming a connection with while things were falling apart. (my photogpher mentioned before with the modeling) after he and i both calmed down and got some sleep. we chatted on facebook. talked things out he finaly relized the damage his drug use was doing to our relationship. now before we began talking that dat i did sleep with my photographer to which my husband forgave me and he knew that would have happened. im back with my husband now. so thus the story of my (much shorter) lost weekend. showered together and listened to "Just like starting over" before writting this.