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Old Nov 07, 2007, 07:06 PM   #361
kmac
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Default Mother Issues on Two And A Half Men

Charlie: You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Mom once in a while.
Alan: We don't know that.


Alan: You'll go to mom's funeral, won't you Charlie?
Charlie: Of course! As the eldest son, it's my duty to pound the last stake into her heart.
Alan: That's typical, nothing for Alan to do.
Charlie: Alright, you can chop off her head and put it onto a stake for the villagers.
Alan: Thank you!
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Old Nov 09, 2007, 11:51 AM   #362
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Scrubs

When JD,Turk & Carla are trying to get into an a all black dance club -
Bouncer:(to JD) Okay, you're in.
J.D.: Word.
Bouncer: Uh! You're out.
Chris Turk: Let me handle this. Look man, homie here is a little out of his mizzle, so I'm just saying for just a little dizzle, if you let him up in this pizzle, he'll be all chizzle.
Bouncer: You out, too.
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Old Nov 11, 2007, 05:31 PM   #363
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Seinfeld:

(Jerry reads the newspaper article claiming that him and George are gay)

Jerry: "Within the confines of his fastidious bachelor pad, Seinfeld and Costanza bicker over the cleanliness of a piece of fruit, like an old married couple." I told you that pear was washed!
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Old Nov 13, 2007, 07:24 AM   #364
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The Bad Seed

"What will you give me for a basket full of kisses?"
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"Truly, this man was the King of Pop." - Nostalgic Critic


It looks like they just put a whole lotta movies in a blender and turned it on really fast. - Myster Science Theater 3000

"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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Old Nov 25, 2007, 05:22 PM   #365
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Seinfeld

(Jerry and George are being held at gunpoint by neo-Nazis)

George: Alright, how's this? We wait till we get to your street corner, we see Elaine and Kramer then we get out. They can't shoot us in the city.
Jerry: Nah. No one's ever been shot in the city.
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Last edited by Clark Kent : Nov 25, 2007 at 05:22 PM.
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Old Nov 26, 2007, 01:12 PM   #366
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Seriously....this movie must get released. I am sure this will be my favorite scene................ Funny

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Old Dec 02, 2007, 07:04 AM   #367
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Well lemme think of another one...Here we go, my voice mail message, taken from Family Guy:

Peter: Oh Brian, yer fur is so soft! And yer ears! Yer ears are like, dog ears. Ohhh. Oh this couch! Stewie! Yer head is so smooth! How is that-how ya doin that? How ya doin that? Ohhh! Everything here is fantastic!
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Old Dec 05, 2007, 04:04 PM   #368
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'It's only human nature.'
'Nature, Mr Allnut, is what we are put on earth to rise above'

Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn, 'The African Queen'
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Old Dec 05, 2007, 05:09 PM   #369
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"is anybody here a marine biologist?"

who knows what thats from? lol
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Old Dec 05, 2007, 07:06 PM   #370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nattyintheskywithdiamonds View Post
"is anybody here a marine biologist?"

who knows what thats from? lol
Probably one of the best Seinfeld episodes ever.

Kramer: "A hole in one"

And a classic George Costanza: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
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Old Dec 07, 2007, 05:24 PM   #371
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Seinfeld

Jerry: It has only one design flaw. The door MUST BE CLOSED!

(Jerry explaining how his door lock works)
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Old Dec 07, 2007, 07:34 PM   #372
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Ugly Betty

Daniel: Did you have superstrength installed with your vagina?
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It looks like they just put a whole lotta movies in a blender and turned it on really fast. - Myster Science Theater 3000

"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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Old Dec 12, 2007, 08:56 AM   #373
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Ugly Betty

"She's Alexis, big as Texas, she knows what it's like to be both sexes"
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It looks like they just put a whole lotta movies in a blender and turned it on really fast. - Myster Science Theater 3000

"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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Old Dec 14, 2007, 06:36 AM   #374
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Just a fav classic quote from one of my fav shows, Futurama:

Dr Farnsworth: Good News, everyone!

and

Dr Farnsworth: Bad News, nobody...
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 06:18 AM   #375
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Colonel Saito: If I dont finish the bridge by May, I'll have to kill my self! What would you do if you were me?
Colonel Nicholson: If I were you, I suppose I'd have to kill my self.
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 07:24 AM   #376
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Try being feminine and sweet. If you can manage to combine the two.

- The Gay Divorcee
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Old Dec 17, 2007, 05:24 AM   #377
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CHIEF Inspector Clouseau: Does yourre dogue bayte?
Receptionist at a certain hotel in Bavaria: No.
CHIEF Inspector Clouseau: Giiiide diiiiggiiieee(reaching out for the dog)
while the puddle rips his arm off haha, no, actoual, the whole of his close
CHIEF Inspector Clouseau: E Fought eye saide yourre dogue dasnte bayte.
Receptionist, with the proverbial German punctuality: Das ist not my dog!

btw that almost gave me a heart attack of laughter, i CANT watch that film, the body cant sustain the humor impact
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Old Dec 23, 2007, 09:15 AM   #378
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Batman

Joker: Jack is dead my friend. You can call me "The Joker" and as you can see, I'm a whole lot happier
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"Truly, this man was the King of Pop." - Nostalgic Critic


It looks like they just put a whole lotta movies in a blender and turned it on really fast. - Myster Science Theater 3000

"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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Old Dec 31, 2007, 11:37 PM   #379
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"I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the availability of medical records. For instance, there are an astounding number of yeast infections in this very county.... Probably because we're down river from that old bread factory!"
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Old Jan 01, 2008, 08:20 AM   #380
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Who said that?
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"Truly, this man was the King of Pop." - Nostalgic Critic


It looks like they just put a whole lotta movies in a blender and turned it on really fast. - Myster Science Theater 3000

"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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