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Old Apr 03, 2007, 08:43 PM   #1
LinkTGF
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Default Make up your own lost scenes from Let It Be

Say you found a canister of 16mm film in your grandma's attic and decided to watch it and discovered it's a reel of lost footage from Let It Be that has not been seen in 37 years - what would you find?


1. Ringo sitting by himself at lunch, talking to his nose (who he has inexplicably named Gerald)
2. A brainstorm session for lyrics and Yoko, in attendance, reads her own which consists of her screaming for 17 and a half minutes while making armpit fart noises
3. New unheard song called "Ringo Needs Some Money"
4. Scene where John has kicked Ringo off the drums and is relegated to playing the spoons on a song called "The Ballad of Ringo" (this was obviously during the week that John decided to write a bunch of songs with "The Ballad of..." in the title" - the only reason it's not on the album is because it's 25 minutes of John badmouthing Ringo in the lyrics)

Add your own if you want
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Originally Posted by 62hofner View Post
Man, when I hear songs like "All You Need Is Love" and "Let It Be" it makes me want to grab a baseball bat and go out to crack some skulls!

Last edited by LinkTGF : Apr 03, 2007 at 08:57 PM.
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Old Apr 03, 2007, 08:59 PM   #2
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LOL!!! Love em...this kinda wacky humor is right up my alley!


1. John Lennon deciding to have a little fun with the fans; sitting right down in front of the camera and saying "Yes Paul is dead... if you have found this video, you have pieced together all the clues....this is where he is burried.." and then purposely cutting the film off.

2. John purposely singing "The Long and Whinning Road"

3. Someone saying "Mother mary? Paul I didn't know you were Christian" and Paul going "Oh for the love of god... I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER!! NOT THE BIBLE!!"
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Old Apr 03, 2007, 09:10 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Loony_leo View Post
LOL!!! Love em...this kinda wacky humor is right up my alley!


1. John Lennon deciding to have a little fun with the fans; sitting right down in front of the camera and saying "Yes Paul is dead... if you have found this video, you have pieced together all the clues....this is where he is burried.." and then purposely cutting the film off.


1. Yoko and John use a new technique to write songs that involves picking up random books and flipping to a section and make lyrics based on that. Algebra book in hand, John then leads the band in a very early version of Imagine, including different lyrics:
"In math there is no 7 / In fact there's only Pi / No paper to show us / In textbooks only prime..." - George then proceeds to make his announcement that he's leaving the band due to them having drained the creative well

2. Footage of George Martin making intentionally bad mixes so he doesn't have to continue work on the album - shortly afterwards Phil Spector is seen conducting the band with gun in hand. Similar footage from around Christmas is shown shortly after; this is determined because Phil decorated his gun with Candy Cane striping and mistletoe
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Hey Be-at-le! Somebody needs to know the time, glad that I'm here...

I Buried Paul... There I Admit It, I'll Even Tell You Where, Outside Behind Abbey Road Studios, It Was Great Fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 62hofner View Post
Man, when I hear songs like "All You Need Is Love" and "Let It Be" it makes me want to grab a baseball bat and go out to crack some skulls!

Last edited by LinkTGF : Apr 04, 2007 at 12:16 PM. Reason: funnier math joke :P
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 06:45 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LinkTGF View Post


1. Yoko and John use a new technique to write songs that involves picking up random books and flipping to a section and make lyrics based on that. Algebra book in hand, John then leads the band in a very early version of Imagine, including different lyrics:
"In math there is no 7 / it's easy if you try / No paper to show us / In textbooks only prime..." - George then proceeds to make his announcement that he's leaving the band due to them having drained the creative well

2. Footage of George Martin making intentionally bad mixes so he doesn't have to continue work on the album - shortly afterwards Phil Spector is seen conducting the band with gun in hand. Similar footage from around Christmas is shown shortly after; this is determined because Phil decorated his gun with Candy Cane striping and mistletoe

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Old Apr 04, 2007, 12:16 PM   #5
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bump :)
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I Buried Paul... There I Admit It, I'll Even Tell You Where, Outside Behind Abbey Road Studios, It Was Great Fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 62hofner View Post
Man, when I hear songs like "All You Need Is Love" and "Let It Be" it makes me want to grab a baseball bat and go out to crack some skulls!
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 08:48 PM   #6
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I'll have a go:

1) The Beatles create a forgotton, spontaneous avant-garde single called "Throw Magic Alex Down The Stairs."

2) Billy Preston officially joins the band! This means immediately all the other Beatles turn on him, slap him with 20 lawsuits, write a few thinly veiled "musical fued" songs about him and then vote unanimously to kick him right back out of the band again. Sessions then carry on as normal.

3) The film reveals that Let It Be is actually one of the cleverest special effects movies ever made. The new canister reveals that the 4 Beatles were never actually in the same room together throughout the recording of the film. Michael Lindsey-Hogg just used camera tricks to make it look like they were together! It turns out Paul filmed all his parts in a woodshed in Scotland, George did his from a temple in India, Ringo did his parts in bed at home and John did his from inside a bag in Toronto.

4) Just after John says his famous "I hope we passed the audition" line and everyone starts to clean up, they notice a guy setting up amplifiers on the roof of a building across from 3 Saville Row. When they ask what's going on, the guy shouts back that he's a roadie for the Rolling Stones and, well, since the Beatles just did a concert on a roof...

5) (And most likely of the bunch) John leads the band through a version of "Dig It" that lasts for 2 and half days.
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Old Apr 04, 2007, 11:40 PM   #7
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Anything with Heather teasing Ringo even more, hiding drumsticks, playing with microphones etc.
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Old Apr 05, 2007, 08:35 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kris Wright View Post
I'll have a go:

1) The Beatles create a forgotton, spontaneous avant-garde single called "Throw Magic Alex Down The Stairs."

2) Billy Preston officially joins the band! This means immediately all the other Beatles turn on him, slap him with 20 lawsuits, write a few thinly veiled "musical fued" songs about him and then vote unanimously to kick him right back out of the band again. Sessions then carry on as normal.

3) The film reveals that Let It Be is actually one of the cleverest special effects movies ever made. The new canister reveals that the 4 Beatles were never actually in the same room together throughout the recording of the film. Michael Lindsey-Hogg just used camera tricks to make it look like they were together! It turns out Paul filmed all his parts in a woodshed in Scotland, George did his from a temple in India, Ringo did his parts in bed at home and John did his from inside a bag in Toronto.

4) Just after John says his famous "I hope we passed the audition" line and everyone starts to clean up, they notice a guy setting up amplifiers on the roof of a building across from 3 Saville Row. When they ask what's going on, the guy shouts back that he's a roadie for the Rolling Stones and, well, since the Beatles just did a concert on a roof...

5) (And most likely of the bunch) John leads the band through a version of "Dig It" that lasts for 2 and half days.
These are the best!

Now to (try and) compete:
1. Midway through the recording sessions, Ringo breaks in his drumming pattern for the first time in 7 years, throwing everyone off during the recording of what could have been the very best song the Beatles ever wrote. Frustrated, John throws the track out and instead records a 2 and a half day long version of "Dig It" to "teach that toucan-faced wazzock" a lesson.

2. George suffers a wardrobe malfunction, ala the bathroom scene in "Help!"; GeorgeGirl14, who discovers this footage, suffers abnormal heart palpitations.

3. 3 reels of time lapse footage trained on Billy Preston's afro.

4. 17 reels of time lapse footage trained on Paul's beard.

5. George writes a song titled "Her Shiva-ness"; everyone groans

6. Paul and Ringo trade instruments but soon realize it's impossible to hit the snare and hi hat with a bass guitar in each hand

7. Reel 28: The song Help! is shown being recorded for the 72nd time that day; when asked, John just says he likes the song

8. Reel 29: The rest of the band plots to put John in a bag

9. Reel 30: John spends the majority of the day in a large bag and becomes his most productive to date, writing 936 songs, all about how much he loves Yoko - most of them are less than 7 seconds long, but they're all about Yoko. Except the one about Paul.
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Hey Be-at-le! Somebody needs to know the time, glad that I'm here...

I Buried Paul... There I Admit It, I'll Even Tell You Where, Outside Behind Abbey Road Studios, It Was Great Fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 62hofner View Post
Man, when I hear songs like "All You Need Is Love" and "Let It Be" it makes me want to grab a baseball bat and go out to crack some skulls!
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Old Apr 07, 2007, 08:09 AM   #9
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The police actually do arrest them during the rooftop scene.
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Old Apr 07, 2007, 11:45 AM   #10
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Default All in good humor, all in good humor. . .if a bit disjointed.

John showing up with Yoko who has a napkin stuffed in her mouth because she gave up being annoying for Lent.

Paul and John actually writing a song together while Yoko has a napkin in her mouth.

The song would have been their greatest number one song ever, eclipsing all songs that had come before or would come after, except that Lent officially ended 30 seconds before John and Paul stopped writing it and Yoko immediately informed John that A: He could sing it better solo; B: John could play the guitar, bass, drums, piano, trumpet, and harp better than Paul (or anyone else who's first names begin with a G or R); C: Paul is a subpar songwriter unworthy of John's talented collaboration, and D: She has to go to the bathroom and John must accompany her to assure she makes water correctly.

John and Yoko get lost returning from the bathroom and don't show up to ten days, at which time, the best song ever written has already been recorded as Irish Junk by Paul (but without John's help, the song fails to reach its full potential). Irish Junk would be lost to the world when Paul inadvertently over-records it with Silly Little Frog, a song he would write for his Rupert movie. Silly Little Frog, itself, would be dumped for the better received We All Stand Together.

Years later, George would ask Paul during taping of the Anthology videos about the untitled song he and John were working on back on the Let It Be set. Paul suddenly stands up straighter than a schoolboy's trousers during a walk through Amsterdam's red-light district when he remembers penning the greatest song ever with John. He runs to his estate to find the reel marked 1968-1970, Let It Be, Greatest Song Ever (written by Paul and John while Yoko had a napkin in her mouth).
He zips back to the studio to present the song to George and Ringo. He proclaims that this is the song they should record and NOT Free as a Bird.
He puts the reel on the tapedeck, hits play, and Silly Little Frog begins to play complete with intro "ribbits".
George throws his ukele at Paul. Ringo offers, as ever the diplomat, that they could re-record the song as Hi, BullFrog, claim it is the prequel to Hey, Bulldog, with some minor tweaking. George thinks that it is a daft idea and throws his Rickenbacker at Ringo who deftly blocks the instrument with his nose. They record Free As A Bird.
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Old Apr 07, 2007, 12:28 PM   #11
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LOL!
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"They're dead grotty!" - George Harrison

Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life. - The Simpsons
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Old Apr 08, 2007, 08:56 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmericanBeatle View Post
John showing up with Yoko who has a napkin stuffed in her mouth because she gave up being annoying for Lent.

Paul and John actually writing a song together while Yoko has a napkin in her mouth.

The song would have been their greatest number one song ever, eclipsing all songs that had come before or would come after, except that Lent officially ended 30 seconds before John and Paul stopped writing it and Yoko immediately informed John that A: He could sing it better solo; B: John could play the guitar, bass, drums, piano, trumpet, and harp better than Paul (or anyone else who's first names begin with a G or R); C: Paul is a subpar songwriter unworthy of John's talented collaboration, and D: She has to go to the bathroom and John must accompany her to assure she makes water correctly.

John and Yoko get lost returning from the bathroom and don't show up to ten days, at which time, the best song ever written has already been recorded as Irish Junk by Paul (but without John's help, the song fails to reach its full potential). Irish Junk would be lost to the world when Paul inadvertently over-records it with Silly Little Frog, a song he would write for his Rupert movie. Silly Little Frog, itself, would be dumped for the better received We All Stand Together.

Years later, George would ask Paul during taping of the Anthology videos about the untitled song he and John were working on back on the Let It Be set. Paul suddenly stands up straighter than a schoolboy's trousers during a walk through Amsterdam's red-light district when he remembers penning the greatest song ever with John. He runs to his estate to find the reel marked 1968-1970, Let It Be, Greatest Song Ever (written by Paul and John while Yoko had a napkin in her mouth).
He zips back to the studio to present the song to George and Ringo. He proclaims that this is the song they should record and NOT Free as a Bird.
He puts the reel on the tapedeck, hits play, and Silly Little Frog begins to play complete with intro "ribbits".
George throws his ukele at Paul. Ringo offers, as ever the diplomat, that they could re-record the song as Hi, BullFrog, claim it is the prequel to Hey, Bulldog, with some minor tweaking. George thinks that it is a daft idea and throws his Rickenbacker at Ringo who deftly blocks the instrument with his nose. They record Free As A Bird.
Woah - screw what they show in the movie - this should be the official explanation for everything that went wrong with the Beatles
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I Buried Paul... There I Admit It, I'll Even Tell You Where, Outside Behind Abbey Road Studios, It Was Great Fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 62hofner View Post
Man, when I hear songs like "All You Need Is Love" and "Let It Be" it makes me want to grab a baseball bat and go out to crack some skulls!

Last edited by LinkTGF : Apr 08, 2007 at 08:56 PM.
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