BeatleLinks LogoNav Panel New Sites Cool Sites Top Rated Fab Forum Add A Site Link To Us Revolution Radio New Products



Go Back   BeatleLinks Fab Forum > Other Forums > Here, There & Everywhere


Reply

 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old Sep 14, 2005, 05:32 AM   #1
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Unhappy It was 2 years ago today/ Have any of u ever lost someone from death who meant alot?

That my brother passed away. I sure do miss him. His love is always around me, and I know he will never be too far away from my heart. I just wish things could have been different. I can't help but wish that he never got mentally ill in the first place, for if he hadn't he'd still be here. I also wish the mental health system didn't fail him, for if they hadn't failed him, he'd also still be here with better medications and better treatment. I know life is full of pains and joys. Pains make you a stronger person, however it doesn't mean that we get joy from pain. I have moved on in my life, but I will always miss and love my brother, and I'll always feel a little hurt knowing that I'll have to wait til it's my time to die to see him again. He does visit me in my dreams, which I'm glad about. Sometimes however I just don't want to wake up, knowing it is him that I see, talk to, and enjoy spending time with in my dreams. Then I wake up and I say to myself, why did I have to wake up so quick? Still it's hard to believe it's been 2 years today that he took his own life. I understand the pain he was going through, and that he wasn't his normal self. When he was alive, each time that I went over to visit him, I'd cry shortly after I'd get home; wishing he was his normal happy go lucky self again. Now he's been free for 2 years. And it's something I still can't get over. I just wish he could of gotten free somehow without ending his life. Schizophrenia is something there is no true cure for, but like I said, if the mental health system didn't fail him, he could have had better treatments and better medications.

One good thing about this though is, my mother is taking the mental health system of ny to court for what they did to my brother, and for what they did to my mother. They covered up too much information in regards to my brothers records, by blacking out words and sentences throughout his records. It's quite a long story. I sure hope she wins. Once she does, she will be helping other suffers who are mentally ill that need to be taken seriously.

May my brother Collin rest in peace and god bless his gentle soul.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.




Last edited by NaomiMcCartney : Sep 14, 2005 at 06:29 AM.
NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 08:26 AM   #2
Hari's Chick
Moderator
 
Hari's Chick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 11, 2002
Posts: 13,049


Default

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

I'm sorry... I know the pain you are feeling... I have been thinking about my brother so much recently, too. Sometimes when I get really sad I think of things he did which made me laugh so much and that helps. My bro could be so so funny... and have the whole room laughing...

I am sorry the system failed your family. My Dad worked for the government and used to say that in the system "everyone is promoted to their highest level of incompetence"... we see that is so true now, like with FEMA and the tragedy in New Orleans... and like in your case they are covering things, so they know they were negligent... and I wonder if they realize the deep and forever pain their lax attitudes cause in people's lives?

Even if they do not realize, karma will still come along their way. That is the thing...they will learn empathy even if they do not want to. What they caused comes back, and that's the learning process.

Sometimes music helps me too. There are so many songs which remind me of my brother and recently I listen to them a lot. One has these lines which I find so perfect ~

"Cause the world he saw was sadder than the one he hoped to find
But it wasn't near as lonesome as the one he left behind"

(((((((((HUGS))))))))

Don't forget like in your dreams, he is so close to you... also in your waking hours...he is near. He knows how much you love him. (((hugs again)))
__________________
Hari's Chick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 10:07 AM   #3
Asha
Sun King
 
Join Date: Nov 22, 2004
Posts: 30,454
Default

I've lost people close to me, too, Naomi. Know that wherever you are is just where you're meant to be. That goes for everybody. So, while you may not understand what happened to your brother, know that it is all ok & that he is ok now. His love is around you & always will be. Just think of him & all the great times you had! I'm sure he'll pick up on it & you may feel, hear, see something coming back to you!
Asha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 01:12 PM   #4
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Default

Thanks you guys. It meant a lot to me.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.



NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 02:16 PM   #5
ClarinetSparkle
Fool On The Hill
 
ClarinetSparkle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 12, 2005
Location: Mount Pleasant, MI
Posts: 26
Send a message via AIM to ClarinetSparkle Send a message via Yahoo to ClarinetSparkle
Default

I've got a good idea of how you feel, Naomi.

I haven't lost a close, actual, blood-related family member since I was a small child (I'm now seventeen) but on June 22, 2005, my best friend was killed in a car accident. For weeks I was depressed, would cry at the mention of her name, and thought about her constantly.

Eventually I started telling people I wanted to die and be with her. They started trying to convince me that she wouldn't want that. The more I was told this, the more I realized they were right.

Is there anything that your brother wanted to accomplish in his life that you can do in his place? Amanda wanted to be a teacher and librarian. In mid-July I began working at our high school's music library again as I had been doing for three years. I have just started college and am planning to go into music education. In a way, I'm fulfilling some of Amanda's dreams.

Maybe you can think of something that your brother really wanted to do and you can do it for him. I've found that it's an excellent way to cope. Even though your brother passed away two years ago, it will still be difficult (for you and I and everyone else who's ever lost a loved one) to keep on going.

Best wishes!

--Michelle
__________________
"Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky...I know this love of mine...will never die...."
ClarinetSparkle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 02:27 PM   #6
MaccaGirl2891
Sun King
 
MaccaGirl2891's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 08, 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 6,399
Send a message via AIM to MaccaGirl2891 Send a message via MSN to MaccaGirl2891 Send a message via Yahoo to MaccaGirl2891 Send a message via Skype™ to MaccaGirl2891
Default

I know how you feel. I lost my great-grandmother in April, and I felt like it was the end of the world. Ask anyone this question, and you'll get an answer!!!
__________________
**~JAYE~**
http://jesmith2009.tripod.com
John Winston Ono Lennon - 10/9/1940--12/8/1980
George Harrison - 2/25/1943--11/29/2001
Michael Joseph Jackson - 8/29/1958--6/25/2009
MaccaGirl2891 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 03:16 PM   #7
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Default

Again thanks everyone. You truly are beautiful souls.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.



NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 03:26 PM   #8
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClarinetSparkle
I've got a good idea of how you feel, Naomi.

I haven't lost a close, actual, blood-related family member since I was a small child (I'm now seventeen) but on June 22, 2005, my best friend was killed in a car accident. For weeks I was depressed, would cry at the mention of her name, and thought about her constantly.

Eventually I started telling people I wanted to die and be with her. They started trying to convince me that she wouldn't want that. The more I was told this, the more I realized they were right.

Is there anything that your brother wanted to accomplish in his life that you can do in his place? Amanda wanted to be a teacher and librarian. In mid-July I began working at our high school's music library again as I had been doing for three years. I have just started college and am planning to go into music education. In a way, I'm fulfilling some of Amanda's dreams.

Maybe you can think of something that your brother really wanted to do and you can do it for him. I've found that it's an excellent way to cope. Even though your brother passed away two years ago, it will still be difficult (for you and I and everyone else who's ever lost a loved one) to keep on going.

Best wishes!

--Michelle
I too am sorry for your lose.

Hmm, anything my brother wanted to do that he never got to do? Well, my mother did get a book of his together of his poety. She made lots of copies of it. Sometime she'd like to get it published. However that will take a long time to get processed considering the money etc...

As for me, well, lately I have been writing lyrics like crazy, and I often stop and wonder, "Is that my brother giving me these ideas?" Well you see, back when he was in the 8th grade he was in a band called pookah with our younger sister. Then again music has always been a big part of my family, at least on my mothers side. My mother plays the guitar, so Collin got inspired through her to play the guitar too. Megan our sister played the drums. Sadly she no longer plays the drums as much as she use to, considering it hurts her wrists too much each time that she does. The two of us however both play the piano.

Anyways, I believe that if he never got sick, I think he would of loved to have started up playing the guitar with other people again. I feel he would like me to pick up the guitar and learn how to play it. I also would love to learn how to play the guitar. Nothing really fancy like Jimi Hendrex, but I'd like to learn how to play rythem just as he did so very well. I can write awesome lyrics sometimes, and I'm amazed by it. This is when I sometimes stop and wonder, "Is that my brother who just wrote that for me to sing?" I think I'm never going to stop writing, and I'm never going let anybody try to stop me from getting myself to learn how to play the guitar and sing in front of others, for it is something I feel he would of started up again if he never got sick in the first place.

By the way my brother was left handed but he couldn't play left handed for the life of him. It just felt too weird to him, for he's tried it before. Anxidextrius, however you spell that, is what he was, and I too am the same, but I write with my right hand.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.




Last edited by NaomiMcCartney : Sep 14, 2005 at 03:32 PM.
NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 03:41 PM   #9
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Default

For everyone who has also lost someone that meant a lot to them through death. I'm sorry for your lose, and may they be blessed in heavon.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.



NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 14, 2005, 05:30 PM   #10
Magill
Sun King
 
Magill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 02, 2002
Location: Back to where I once belonged
Posts: 13,597

Default

Gee, I'm sorry your brother's death still haunts you. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted you to still be grieving. Because you're young and still very much alive. There's a whole world out there waiting for you to experience. Go for it, Naomi. I'm sure your brother would have agreed. Life is too short not be savored.

As for me, I lost my father seven years ago. Then, my older brother and mother (in the same year!) four years ago. It was hard dealing with losing them all, to be sure. Today, I remember them fondly. I remember them on their birthdays and deathdays and speak to them through prayer. But, most of all, I look forward to seeing them again when it's my turn to leave this world.
Magill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 15, 2005, 06:35 AM   #11
Starry-eyed
Paperback Writer
 
Starry-eyed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 27, 2005
Location: Lombard, IL
Posts: 2,871
Send a message via AIM to Starry-eyed
Default

I just recently lost my mother, in April of this year. We were very close, and I miss her so much. Whenever my kids or I have some exciting news to share, I often think of how she would've reacted, and how happy she would be. But I believe she is around in spirit, and watching over us. That makes me feel better.
__________________
You've got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues, but no matter what you choose,
CHOOSE LOVE!

Starry-eyed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 15, 2005, 08:22 AM   #12
NaomiMcCartney
Paperback Writer
 
NaomiMcCartney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 05, 2003
Location: Central upstate NY
Posts: 2,883
Send a message via Yahoo to NaomiMcCartney
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magill
Gee, I'm sorry your brother's death still haunts you. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted you to still be grieving. Because you're young and still very much alive. There's a whole world out there waiting for you to experience. Go for it, Naomi. I'm sure your brother would have agreed. Life is too short not be savored.

As for me, I lost my father seven years ago. Then, my older brother and mother (in the same year!) four years ago. It was hard dealing with losing them all, to be sure. Today, I remember them fondly. I remember them on their birthdays and deathdays and speak to them through prayer. But, most of all, I look forward to seeing them again when it's my turn to leave this world.
I can not help but miss him like crazy. Sure it hunts me a little, but it always will at least a little bit. I know part of me will always hurts, and the pain will become less and less. What sister wouldn't miss their brother like that when they pass away. Some siblings however aren't that close, but I'm sure once one of them dies they would miss them too.

I also have been moving on, for I am in school and aiming for a goal. Still I think about him from time to time at least once everyday. I can not help but think is he helping me get through school. I truly believe that he is.

However I can not help but feel so bad for my mothe. Reason being is simply this.

First she lost her father when she was only 12 years old. He died of a heart attack. Then she lost her aunt Ann who died of a heart attack, then she lost her brother Jim who died in a house fire, then she lost another brother Charles who died of yet again a heart attack. then she lost her Uncle Johnny do to a heart attack, then she lost her mother do to another heart attack, then she lost her brother Mike who died of skin cancer, then another brother Bob who died of yet again a heart attack, then she lost her fiancee do to another heart attack, and 6 weeks later after her fiancees death my brother, her son, takes his own life. After my brother death a year later an Aunt of hers, Aunt Kay passes away from another heart attack. Too many heart attacks run on my mothers side of the family!

My family has been through a lot of deaths in such young ages. It's rather hard to believe. It's no wonder it's hard to get over deaths in my family.
__________________
A perfect world could never exist. Perfect is never perfect. If we were all the same we would never be satisfied.




Last edited by NaomiMcCartney : Sep 15, 2005 at 08:29 AM.
NaomiMcCartney is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
16years ago today adayinthelife Red Rose Speedway 4 May 06, 2005 09:26 AM
93 years ago tonight andalucia Here, There & Everywhere 3 Apr 14, 2005 09:50 AM
Fifty Years Ago Today shyGirl Not Only A Northern Song 2 Apr 13, 2004 02:54 PM
Forty years ago, The Beatles ruled the charts; Twist and Shout was No. 2 SF4-EVER I Read The News Today 3 Apr 12, 2004 08:03 AM
It Was 34 Years Ago Today Glenn Abbey Road 16 Sep 05, 2000 02:47 PM


Advertisements

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Site Features
Search Links

  Advanced Search
Category Jump



BeatleMail

FREE E-MAIL
@ BEATLEMAIL.COM


Username


Password




New User Sign-Up!
Lost Password?
Beatles History




Donate
The costs of running our database and discussion forum are steadily rising. Any help we receive is greatly appreciated. Click HERE for more information about donating to BeatleLinks.
Extras
» Chat Room
» Current News
» Monthly Contest
» Interviews Database
» Random Site
» Banner Exchange
» F.A.Q.
» Advertise
» Credits
» Legal
» Contact Us
Copyright © 2000-2020 BeatleLinks
All Rights Reserved