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Old Jun 02, 2009, 02:06 AM   #1
I am the Paulrus
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Default Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono, Olivia and Dhani Harrison at the launch of "Th

Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono, Olivia and Dhani Harrison at the launch of "The Beatles: Rock Band"

Monday, June 1, 2009

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090602...20090602030127











LOS ANGELES (AFP) Sir Paul McCartney played an air guitar as he and Ringo Starr strode on stage for the world debut of a videogame that lets players pretend to be The Beatles.

The legendary surviving members of the band, and the widows of John Lennon and George Harrison, got standing ovations during a Microsoft press conference premiering new titles poised for release for Xbox 360 consoles.

"The Beatles: Rock Band" promises "a revolutionary tour" of the Fab Four's music, career and legacy.

"We love the game," McCartney said as he and Starr joshed in the spotlight. "Who'd have thought we'd end up like androids?"

The videogame will launch with 10 of the band's songs including "I Saw Her Standing There," "I Want To Hold Your Hand," "Day Tripper, and "Back In The USSR."

In the spirit of the "Rock Band" franchise, The Beatles game lets players using controllers resembling guitars or drums score points by staying in time with colored "notes" streamed along on-screen guitar necks.

Vocals are also rated on screen to determine whether the singing measures up.

A story mode in the game lets players become band members of their choosing and start the group's career in its early days playing at The Cavern Club in Liverpool, England.

Players will go on to perform virtual versions of The Beatles television appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show in the United States in 1964 and a sold-out show in Shea Stadium in New York City a year later.

The videogame story includes a major Tokyo concert, studio sessions and a final 1969 performance on the roof of the headquarters of Apple Corp., the band's recording label.

"The game is good; the graphics are very good," Starr quipped. "We were great."

Microsoft executives announced that "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles will be released as a download for Xbox 360 consoles, with proceeds going to humanitarian group Doctors Without Borders.

The nonprofit group was chosen by Yoko Ono Lennon and Olivia Harrison, who opened up personal archives to aid development of the videogame.

"We had the huge honor of meticulously reworking each classic song for this game," said Giles Martin, music supervisor on the videogame. "It features never-before-heard studio chat by the band."

Versions of "The Beatles: Rock Band" have been tailored for Sony PlayStation 3 and Nintendo Wii consoles as well as Xbox 360. The game is to be released worldwide on September 9.

"In the early 1960s there were two bands, The Beatles and everybody else" said Van Toffler of MTV Networks music services. "The Beatles were always innovating and everyone was trying to catch up."
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 05:25 AM   #2
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*looks over glasses* *shuffles papers* As you can see by photo exhibit number three, above, it is medically impossible for Paul to go five minutes without doing something dorky. He is what is know in the Latin as a Dorkus Mallorcus.
*notes on clipboard*
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 05:27 AM   #3
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Here's another link with the same photos PLUS one further photo to evidence an extreme case of Dorkus Mallorcus.

And how dare Dhani have such awesome clothes and how dare he be so gorgeous.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...Xbox-game.html
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 07:34 AM   #4
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*looks over glasses* *shuffles papers* As you can see by photo exhibit number three, above, it is medically impossible for Paul to go five minutes without doing something dorky. He is what is know in the Latin as a Dorkus Mallorcus.
*notes on clipboard*
It's so true
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 10:42 AM   #5
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*looks over glasses* *shuffles papers* As you can see by photo exhibit number three, above, it is medically impossible for Paul to go five minutes without doing something dorky. He is what is known in the Latin as a Dorkus Mallorcus.
*notes on clipboard*
But yes, *pushes up glasses & turns on projector*... Paul's dorkiness is incurable, & honestly, *pulls up scientific PROOF on large projected screen* I think that's why he has that ability *uses pointer to show* to cure 6 kinds of cancer & make girls fart glitter, ya know?

I mean SERIOUSLY! Do the math! *walks over to white board & writes equation* "Paul + dorkiness = glitter farts" See... It's not even disputable when you look at the equation! *points to equation on white board* It calculates perfectly!!! You can even try to prove it by mixing it up... *writes more equations on whiteboard* "Dorkiness + Paul = glitter farts" Or you can do a negative test... *continues to write* "glitter farts - Paul = dorkiness" & "glitter farts - dorkiness = Paul"! *points to all equations* I mean, no matter how you look at it... it is TRUE! Einstein would agree! *rests case*
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 11:53 AM   #6
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I have run the calculations and they do prove to be correct.
Sadly, scientists have been unable to determine as of yet if Extreme Dorkiness is genetic, or somehow environmentally influenced. By observing Paul's behavior through time, it would appear that there is somewhat of a genetic feature. This is displayed in his early years by his perinneal "thumbs up" posture, his lousy taste in clothing, and his facial expression after touching that one girl's boob in "Help!".
In addition, prolonged exposure to such a test case as Paul can cause the vomiting of rainbows, however this is generally only seen when the subject is in close proximity to Paul when he displays his dorky.
Obviously, further study with Paul is needed to determine exactly what is going on.
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 11:58 AM   #7
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LMAO.
All the previous posts are too funny.
-can't stop laughing-
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 12:13 PM   #8
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Ohhh.
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 01:13 PM   #9
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I have run the calculations and they do prove to be correct.
Sadly, scientists have been unable to determine as of yet if Extreme Dorkiness is genetic, or somehow environmentally influenced. By observing Paul's behavior through time, it would appear that there is somewhat of a genetic feature. This is displayed in his early years by his perinneal "thumbs up" posture, his lousy taste in clothing, and his facial expression after touching that one girl's boob in "Help!".
In addition, prolonged exposure to such a test case as Paul can cause the vomiting of rainbows, however this is generally only seen when the subject is in close proximity to Paul when he displays his dorky.
Obviously, further study with Paul is needed to determine exactly what is going on.
Thanks for taking the time to verify my calculations, PIM.

I think once the technology is there, scientists will agree with your theory of ED being genetic. (After all, Mark Hudson often assumes the "thumbs up" posture & we know he also has a form of ED. I have actually seen people vomit rainbows in Mark's presence, but I thought it was due to his rainbow goatee.) Perhaps when the technology is there, they can prove what actually causes the vomiting of rainbows vs. farting glitter. Paul's case must be severe since he actually causes both. (Just ask Lucy. I believe she's actually done both in Paul's presence. I can search my files, but I believe I have actual photographic proof of Lucy's reactions! Well, you remember 1 year & 1 day ago... & to think most people thought those were fireworks! HA!)

I'm in complete agreement. Further testing must be done with Paul. This could take some serious time.
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Old Jun 02, 2009, 02:25 PM   #10
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*looks over glasses* *shuffles papers* As you can see by photo exhibit number three, above, it is medically impossible for Paul to go five minutes without doing something dorky. He is what is know in the Latin as a Dorkus Mallorcus.
*notes on clipboard*
I love how you always make me smile. Thank you.




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Old Jun 02, 2009, 06:01 PM   #11
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Perhaps when the technology is there, they can prove what actually causes the vomiting of rainbows vs. farting glitter. Paul's case must be severe since he actually causes both.
*raises hand*

I thought the usual symptoms of ED exposure (as noted in the landmark 1960 study by the University of Hamburg) were the farting of rainbows and the vomiting of glitter, not the other way around. Is this because Paul possesses such a high degree of ED as to cause acute anteroposterior reversal of the digestive tract? Or is it because he's left-handed?
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Old Jun 03, 2009, 07:23 AM   #12
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*raises hand*

I thought the usual symptoms of ED exposure (as noted in the landmark 1960 study by the University of Hamburg) were the farting of rainbows and the vomiting of glitter, not the other way around. Is this because Paul possesses such a high degree of ED as to cause acute anteroposterior reversal of the digestive tract? Or is it because he's left-handed?
OMG! *shuffles through PiM's papers!* Damn PiM! *looks for 1960 study facts!* I can't find anything on this matter. Have you considered any of this? *shakes papers at PiM* I think EB has an excellent point! Recent studies have shown that left handed people do cause people around them to react in completely the opposite manner. *shakes head... looks at ground* sigh... *paces* But this anteroposterior reversal of the digestive tract could be valid! *shakes PiM!* MY GAWD! You've seen how people react to Paul! Butterflies in the stomach? Not being able to eat? I think NOT! I think we have a far more serious issue here!!! *faints*

Last edited by Asha : Jun 03, 2009 at 07:24 AM. Reason: *after more research in "The Study of Fandom - Chapter 24 - The Case of Sir Paul" I need to revise my statement above.
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Old Jun 03, 2009, 08:45 AM   #13
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*raises hand*

I thought the usual symptoms of ED exposure (as noted in the landmark 1960 study by the University of Hamburg) were the farting of rainbows and the vomiting of glitter, not the other way around. Is this because Paul possesses such a high degree of ED as to cause acute anteroposterior reversal of the digestive tract? Or is it because he's left-handed?
While I appreciate the scholarship in that landmark study, one must also be aware that at that time Paul was surrounded by the decidedly NON-dorky John Lennon, George Harrison, and Stu Sutcliffe as well as others and I believe it has been unable to be determined if the rainbow farting and glitter vomiting witnessed at that time could be attributed simply to the amount of squee exposure that many experienced, rather than simply a high dorkiness quotient. Now of course no one can dispute that Paul contained excessive dork, perhaps the utter coolness of the other three men could have caused this reversal.

Obviously further study involving looking over photographs of Beatles in leather is required.
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Old Jun 03, 2009, 09:54 AM   #14
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...NON-dorky John Lennon, George Harrison, and Stu Sutcliffe...

Obviously further study involving looking over photographs of Beatles in leather is required.
The Surgeon General has determined that viewing photographs of NON-dorky men in leather is hazardous to your health!
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Old Jun 03, 2009, 08:19 PM   #15
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Haha, nice scientific studies!

On a side note, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS GAME! I really don't like the whole 'rock band/guitar hero' games, I own the guitar hero and I've played it too much. But the beatles... well this changes everything!

Have Paul and Yoko settled their differences?
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Old Jun 04, 2009, 12:25 AM   #16
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(Just ask Lucy. I believe she's actually done both in Paul's presence. I can search my files, but I believe I have actual photographic proof of Lucy's reactions! Well, you remember 1 year & 1 day ago... & to think most people thought those were fireworks! HA!)

Further testing must be done with Paul. This could take some serious time.
This I can confirm. There is photographic evidence of me - both in the still and moving medium - to prove it.

And yes, further testing MUST be done.

However the fact remains that this is all scientific fact rather than scientific theory.
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Old Jun 04, 2009, 05:48 AM   #17
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And yes, further testing MUST be done.
Can we borrow you to further our testing with Paul? We can't pay you, of course! But I know you'd be willing to sacrifice yourself in the name of science!
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Old Jun 04, 2009, 08:31 AM   #18
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Speaking of photographic evidence....



"Stop being taller than me!"
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Old Jun 04, 2009, 09:30 AM   #19
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Talking

Can I be on the research team, too? I'm known to be very hands-on.
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Old Jun 04, 2009, 10:32 AM   #20
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Can I be on the research team, too? I'm known to be very hands-on.
Can you stand to watch people fart glitter in Paul's presence? It can be disturbing to some viewers!
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