Family problems

Vent your family issues here.

My oldest brother violated his parole. He is in prison for 16 months.

My other older brother is in jail on a concealed weapons charge (if you consider a plastic bee bee gun a weapon).

My sister is going through a bad break up and I think it's really hurting her son.

I just have a lot of issues right now that I need to vent out. If you have a family problem here, feel free to post it. It can be cleansing. Whether you want help or just to get it out there go ahead, we all have problems.

Sorry to hear of the sibling troubles. Sometimes it is hard to sit back and just be supportive.

My brother is holding a grudge that the rest of us dont understand, and I am afraid he is going to regret missing saying goodbye to his dad.

Emotions can be strong. In the heat of emotion and assuring that you are right, we as humans are known for doing things we regret. If it goes that far I can almost guarantee your brother will regret walking away from his family because, in the end, what else do you have?

We have no family problems thankfully except for an alcoholic religious freak of a cousin.

The only family problems here are when my little girl's daddy doesn't turn up when he should!!!
That's only a problem for me though.....I don't always tell her when he's coming, that way she doesn't get upset when he doesn't turn up.

Oh yeah, and my mother still keeps asking me if I'm absolutely sure I'm not a lesbian!!!!!

Originally Posted by SandySunshine

The only family problems here are when my little girl's daddy doesn't turn up when he should!!!
That's only a problem for me though.....I don't always tell her when he's coming, that way she doesn't get upset when he doesn't turn up.

Oh yeah, and my mother still keeps asking me if I'm absolutely sure I'm not a lesbian!!!!!

My sister has a similiar problem (child-wise, that is). They hardly go to see her ex, and when he says he wants to see my nephew they will get there and he will have changed his mind (is that not hte meanest thing you've ever heard to do to a 3 year old?), saying he is "too tired" or has a headachke or whatever like that, I was so enraged I didn't really listen to specifics. And the other day my nephew ran to the doorway, got his sneakers, put them on, and said "Go see daddy"? and it made my sister cry.

Originally Posted by AndersonCouncill

My sister has a similiar problem (child-wise, that is). They hardly go to see her ex, and when he says he wants to see my nephew they will get there and he will have changed his mind (is that not hte meanest thing you've ever heard to do to a 3 year old?), saying he is "too tired" or has a headachke or whatever like that, I was so enraged I didn't really listen to specifics. And the other day my nephew ran to the doorway, got his sneakers, put them on, and said "Go see daddy"? and it made my sister cry.

Yep, the "I'm too tired, I've been to work all day" excuse is a common one here!!!
Becky asks me every day if he's coming to see her. I always say, "maybe". I never give a definite answer.
Although what's funny is this, sometimes there'll be a couple of weeks when he's really unreliable and keeps letting me down.....but then he'll suddenly get really good and come every day, take her out etc!!!!! That's the worst thing really, 'cos it makes it even harder when he's been that good and then disappears for 5 days!!!!!
He's a heavy drinker too, and has turned up drunk a couple of times and I've had to turn him away at the door. That's the main reason why I left him. Becky doesn't like him when he's drunk and won't go near him. I must stress this point.....he's NOT a violent drunk. He's a sleepy drunk.....sleepy in such a way that he loses control of his bladder and his legs!!!

Originally Posted by SandySunshine

Yep, the "I'm too tired, I've been to work all day" excuse is a common one here!!!
Becky asks me every day if he's coming to see her. I always say, "maybe". I never give a definite answer.
Although what's funny is this, sometimes there'll be a couple of weeks when he's really unreliable and keeps letting me down.....but then he'll suddenly get really good and come every day, take her out etc!!!!! That's the worst thing really, 'cos it makes it even harder when he's been that good and then disappears for 5 days!!!!!
He's a heavy drinker too, and has turned up drunk a couple of times and I've had to turn him away at the door. That's the main reason why I left him. Becky doesn't like him when he's drunk and won't go near him. I must stress this point.....he's NOT a violent drunk. He's a sleepy drunk.....sleepy in such a way that he loses control of his bladder and his legs!!!

I understand. It can be painful to watch young children you care about be hurt in such a way (though, to be honest, probably much less painful for me as I have only nephews).

My brother, as I said earlier in this thread, is in jail currently. And when he left for his court appearance my nephew just moped around, stood by the door, and waited for him, and whenever a car would pull in, or a door would open, he would run to it, sure it was his daddy.

My brother's ex recently attempted suicide, and well my brother is in jail, she is watching him, which I don't think is a very good idea, but we have no choice but to hand him over because my brother didn't sign any papers yet saying not to let her watch him, because he didn't expect he would go to jail (it was a bee bee gun for christ's sake!), and when she said she wanted him, there was nothing we could do but hand him over.

Originally Posted by AndersonCouncill

I understand. It can be painful to watch young children you care about be hurt in such a way (though, to be honest, probably much less painful for me as I have only nephews).

My brother, as I said earlier in this thread, is in jail currently. And when he left for his court appearance my nephew just moped around, stood by the door, and waited for him, and whenever a car would pull in, or a door would open, he would run to it, sure it was his daddy.

My brother's ex recently attempted suicide, and well my brother is in jail, she is watching him, which I don't think is a very good idea, but we have no choice but to hand him over because my brother didn't sign any papers yet saying not to let her watch him, because he didn't expect he would go to jail (it was a bee bee gun for christ's sake!), and when she said she wanted him, there was nothing we could do but hand him over.

Well if you think the little boy is in any kind of danger then there must be authorities you can speak to?

We checked. They said, my brother himself has to sing documents saying that he believes her to be a danger, and as long as he is in jail they won't let him sign it. So for the next 13 days or so, my two year old nephew is in the hand's of a women who is suicidal, or at least bordering on it.

But you and the rest of your family can still see your nephew, yes?

Originally Posted by SandySunshine

But you and the rest of your family can still see your nephew, yes?

Yes, but it's a two and a half hour drive to go there. You see, she's not trying to be vindictive, but she thinks that we are. I don't think she quite understands that she attempted suicide a matter of weeks ago (it's important to bring up, the cause for her attempt was that she thought she was an unfit mother).

Originally Posted by AndersonCouncill

Yes, but it's a two and a half hour drive to go there. You see, she's not trying to be vindictive, but she thinks that we are. I don't think she quite understands that she attempted suicide a matter of weeks ago (it's important to bring up, the cause for her attempt was that she thought she was an unfit mother).

So she must have had some kind of psychological assessment then and counselling or whatever, and been declared fit to look after him now?

I suffered from severe post-natal depression and, while I wasn't quite suicidal, I know how hard it can be. Does she have any of her own family nearer to where she lives...parents or brothers or sisters?

Uhh... Yeah, but her phychiatrist told her not to talk to her family because they knock down her self-esteem.

My mum does the same to me and she really was a big part of the problem. But the counselling I had helped me to get over that and just ignore it!!!
Telling her to just not talk to them won't help!!!!! If she can't talk to her family, who can she talk to?!

Well, the phychiatrist asked about her family, she said "I don't get along with my mother and she makes me feel bad about myself" and all, then he told her to talk to her mother and her mother got upset at her for telling her phychiatrist that, and the next time she went to see him she wouldn't talk to him, effectively making him unable to help her, so he advised that, at least for the length of their sessions, she not talk to her mother, because she is easily manipulated and her mother is very manipulative, as she had just spoken to her mother when she attempted suicide.

Originally Posted by AndersonCouncill

Well, the phychiatrist asked about her family, she said "I don't get along with my mother and she makes me feel bad about myself" and all, then he told her to talk to her mother and her mother got upset at her for telling her phychiatrist that, and the next time she went to see him she wouldn't talk to him, effectively making him unable to help her, so he advised that, at least for the length of their sessions, she not talk to her mother, because she is easily manipulated and her mother is very manipulative, as she had just spoken to her mother when she attempted suicide.

Well I don't think much of that psychiatrist then!
My counsellor gave me ideas of what to say to my mother and how to say it. My mother is very overpowering and good at getting you to do what she wants. She's also very quick to point out anything that I'm doing wrong and that's what was getting me down. Years of not being quite good enough for her, topped off with having a baby out of wedlock, pre-natal and post-natal depression all things that she hated about me!!!!!
But now we're the best of friends.....most of the time!!!
The psychiatrist needs to be teaching her to overcome her mother's manipulation and help to increase her self-esteem.

Originally Posted by SandySunshine

Well I don't think much of that psychiatrist then!
My counsellor gave me ideas of what to say to my mother and how to say it. My mother is very overpowering and good at getting you to do what she wants. She's also very quick to point out anything that I'm doing wrong and that's what was getting me down. Years of not being quite good enough for her, topped off with having a baby out of wedlock, pre-natal and post-natal depression all things that she hated about me!!!!!
But now we're the best of friends.....most of the time!!!
The psychiatrist needs to be teaching her to overcome her mother's manipulation and help to increase her self-esteem.

That would be the most sensible approach, wouldn't it? I mean, that's only ignoring a bigger problem. However, I think her mother may be in need of some form of therapy herself.

Originally Posted by AndersonCouncill

That would be the most sensible approach, wouldn't it? I mean, that's only ignoring a bigger problem. However, I think her mother may be in need of some form of therapy herself.

Yeah, so is my mum.....but try telling her that!!!!!

Completely see what you mean.

Ahhh, broke out the old Fender. I most immediately felt better. I'm going to go visit my brother today. I think I'll just talk to him about little things, as any advice of mine will be studiously ignored by all because of my age. Well, it's nice talking to people on line about problems like this, help's me get it out, and age isn't so much of a barrier.