the most painful pictures

Is it just me or is it difficult for others to look at pictures of John in the last few years of his life? Knowing he finally had his life together and had found peace only to be shot down senselessly by some whacko is just infuriating to me. To this day I still can't help but think "what if"? What if someone had pushed John out of the way, what if someone had been there to attack the gunmen, what if the bullets had not fatally hit him.....I know I could go on for days but why did it have to be John? He should be enjoying a wonderful right now in his adopted hometown of New York City. God knows what other great music he would have made. Losing John Lennon for me was like losing a member of my family. I don't think I will ever fully get over it. Peter Boyle said it best in a recent interview: "Its just as horrible and painful to this day as it was the day it happened". Sometimes the pain of a tragic event dulls with the passage of time; this one has not and I don't think ever will.