Weird But True

Helen Gooding let her pet cockatiel fly free around her house in Locking, England, while she was cleaning. At one point, Gooding took the brush off the end of her vacuum cleaner's hose to suck some dirt out of a tight spot when "Beaky" took a peck at it -- and was immediately sucked in. Gooding called the fire brigade to rescue the bird, which was stuck head first part-way down the pipe.

"We came up with a good rescue," a fire spokesman said. A firefighter "blew down the other end of the pipe and out he popped."

This wasn't Beaky's first run-in with technology. "He got knocked off the desk after attacking the base of the computer," Gooding says. "He pecked the CD-ROM button and the drawer shot out and knocked him off." (PA)

------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

A man in Miskolc, Hungary, accidentally shot himself in the head while trying to fix a high-powered air gun, but he didn't go see a doctor since he was convinced the bullet would fall out on its own.

After two weeks of severe headaches he finally gave up and went to the hospital. Neurosurgeon Gyula Papp said the man is in "satisfactory" condition. "He was extremely lucky that the bullet hit no vital
parts." (AFP)

------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

L.C. ("Library Cat") has been a fixture at the
Escondido (Calif.) Public Library for seven years. The kitty is
"beloved by all who visit," the library says. Not so, says Richard R.
Espinosa, 47, of nearby San Marcos. When he came in with his 50-pound
assistance dog, Kimba, the cat "suddenly and without provocation
began
hitting and clawing Kimba," he said in a legal claim against the
city.
The cat was not injured, but Espinosa's $1.5 million claim, which he
wrote himself because four lawyers refused to take his case, says the
altercation caused him "significant lasting, extreme and severe
mental
anguish and emotional distress including, but not limited to, terror,
humiliation, shame, embarrassment, mortification, chagrin,
depression,
panic, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep [and] loss of
full enjoyment of life." (San Diego Union-Tribune)

------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

A student at Evergreen High School in Vancouver, Wash., has
been arrested because she isn't really the homeless teenager she
claimed to be. Brianna Stewart is actually Treva Throneberry, 31. In
addition to taking a full load of classes, "Brianna" played on the
tennis team and attended the senior prom. Now that Throneberry's true
age and identity are known, she faces charges of theft and perjury.
Over her three-year high school career, she pulled down a 2.83
grade-point average -- which would have been a bit better if it
wasn't
for the "D" she got in drama class. (AP) v

------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

Tallahassee, Fla., Police Officer Greg Tucker heard
a
loud stereo in a car parked at a convenience store and pulled in to
tell its driver, Alonzo Lamar McMillian, 20, to turn it down. Then he
noticed the car was parked in a handicapped-only space. Tucker told
the
driver to move, but the man said he'd only be there a minute. About
then, a license check came back: the car was stolen. "He's not
exactly
a criminal mastermind," Tucker said after he arrested McMillian on
charges of grand theft auto, battery on a law enforcement officer,
drug
possession -- and parking in a handicapped space. (Tallahassee
Democrat)
------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On May 29, 2001 04:43 AM]

Douglas Ryan Oeters stopped by the Humane Society in
Boulder, Colo., to adopt a cat. Oeters allegedly tried to pay the $75
adoption fee with $20 bills photocopied onto crumpled yellowing
paper.
"He pulled out the money, and we both started laughing," says shelter
worker Briana Rooney. "We were like 'yeah right'." Since the copies
didn't work, Oeters pulled out a real $100 bill to pay the fees, and
Rooney stalled him while another employee called police. Oeters told
officers that he must have received the bills from the bank when he
cashed a check. A search of his wallet found 42 copies of $20 bills
--
and the two real bills they were copied from. (The Daily Camera)


------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

You guys gotta see this one!

------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

Methinks somebody stays in front of the computer too much.

Ah, this is Nowhere Man's ultimate fate!

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number thirty-six on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number nine.

Mustnotgothere mustnotgothere mustnotgothere.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
You guys gotta see this one!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG, Sleepyhead, that story was hilarious!! Is that REALLY true, though??



------------------
4 weeks, 4 days

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Mustnotgothere mustnotgothere mustnotgothere. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You'd better not!!!



------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By 4thGenFan:
OMG, Sleepyhead, that story was hilarious!! Is that REALLY true, though??

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Looked like a real passport to me... I just post 'em, they're hilarious!



------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

***WARNING*** DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS BEFORE CONSUMING A MEAL, OR DRINK, OR ANYTHING. A GLASS OF WATER MAY BE OK.

The following joke contains:


This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999.

Once inside the bank, shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next day's newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

That one was just plain wrong Sleepy!

------------------
It Takes one to know one ~Linda McCartney
Listen to her daddy's song, making love is wrong~ Back Seat of My Car
Venus and Mars are alright tonight!!!

That wasn't that was Nowhere Man.

And it was also very, very disgusting.

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number thirty-six on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number nine.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By MaccaGirl:
That one was just plain wrong Sleepy!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Stupid crooks! But I assure you, I didn't post it...



------------------

In Memory Of Robby
Our Lady's Psalter
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon

Thrash happy judges in Saudi Arabia have sentenced a Filipino man to 75 lashes for possession of alcohol - after he was caught with two chocolate liqueurs at an airport.

Twenty-five female students were publicly flogged outside a Khartoum courthouse last month for enjoying a picnic by the riverside. The Sudanese courts ruled the picnic 'immoral and riotous' because some of the girls were wearing trousers. They were each given 40 lashes.

And my favourite...

A Charlotte, NC man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire (among other things.) Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without even having made his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued and won. In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and using his testimony against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
***WARNING*** DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS BEFORE CONSUMING A MEAL, OR DRINK, OR ANYTHING. A GLASS OF WATER MAY BE OK.

The following joke contains:


This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999.

Once inside the bank, shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next day's newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!........... .ew.



------------------
4 weeks, 2 days