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-   -   Heather getting full custody? (http://www.beatlelinks.net/forums/showthread.php?t=27018)

FPSHOT Jun 10, 2006 09:27 AM

Great ones HC :smile1:

beatlebangs1964 Jun 10, 2006 06:30 PM

HC, I like what you've said. It's fair, kind and nonjudgmental.

peacenyc2004 Jun 10, 2006 09:28 PM

Hari, the site is supposed to be a clearing house of information about disability, not one's marriage. You can read this as putting Heather down, but I believe I have a valid opinion having worked in media and film and print publishing for decades. The stuff defending their marriage sits on the same site about severe disabilities, how to be fit for a prosthetic limb, what life is like in war torn countries. Its presence throws off the serious intent of the site. She wants to be taken seriously - but being indiscreet about one's marriage etc. only invited unwanted speculation with its "methinks thou doth protest too much" stance. That is why I believe she does not get wise advice. Paul Newman, Jeffrey Sachs, UN charity sites and others don't post long pages of stuff about their marriages on their charitable cause sites because it is not appropriate. Hearing she will be on Larry King Live soon makes me wonder about her motives, her ability to be discreet, ever. I don't want to hear their lives exposed even more, on live television. Such an interview cannot produce a good outcome for her, or for Paul's reputation. When it comes to charity work, who honestly cares about the charity worker's marriage & if she asked Paul to dye his hair. Without the distracting pages defending their marriage, the site would have more gravitas, it would show her work and cause in a better light. All the talk about her marriage on such a serious site is indiscreet and takes away from its original intent. To then ask at the same time for personal privacy from all media is contradictory. Her own level of indiscretion invited unwanted attention. I don't know. I always pick up Heather claims to not want attention from the media, while in other ways she courts it. That said, I feel badly for her and for Paul. Fame carries some burdens I don't think any of us would want, not for anything. While it can be used for good, attention to a cause, it also seems so suffocating as well.

erinluv182 Jun 11, 2006 07:53 AM

Well put, peaceny.

Loka Jun 11, 2006 11:20 AM

I canīt believe she honestly told Paul it was a Loverīs Guide (which she did, according to his statement that "there was nothing he didnīt know" and my supposition that she wonīt tell him "Yeah I did Harcore-Porn" and us "It was a loverīs guide", sheīs not that stupid). Who is she fooling, I ask you. I wonder what heīll think the moment he sees the pics himself.
What you posted is not teaching anyone how to enjoy his/ her love life, and if even the creator PLUS the male model say it wasnīt meant to educate anyone... I REALLY really wonder how blind one has to be still believing her it was a guide.
Am I mistaken or is this thread about the "full custody" business? Itīs changing into discussing various topics about Heather, I just donīt want to be the one whoīs told sheīs off-topic.

MonaMe577 Jun 11, 2006 11:41 AM

Well, here's what Paul has to say about all this. Take it with as much or as little salt as you want, I'll leave it to you folks.

* * * * * * * * *
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds33959.html

McCartney pleads: Lay off Heather Mills
Friday, June 9 2006, 17:59 BST - by Dave West

Sir Paul McCartney has pleaded with critics and the press to leave his estranged wife Heather Mills alone.

The former Beatle reportedly said he was worried about Mills' emotional state and has to comfort her constantly.

"It's almost like a witch-hunt. I'm really worried about her," he told a friend, according to the Daily Mirror. "She's in pieces over this and I wish people could see she's really different from the person she's portrayed as."

He said they are still close and denied there will be a custody battle over their daughter Beatrice. "Under the circumstances we're fine," he told a source. "We're talking, sorting stuff out and making the best of it.

"I can't believe the cruelty towards her. Heather will continue to be an important part of my life. There's still a lot between us and there always will be."

The singer also insisted he knew that Mills had posed naked in 1988, contrary to recent tabloid claims. "There's nothing in her past I don't know about. Nothing," he said. "I knew she'd done the pictures before we married. It was such a long time ago."

Lynner Jun 11, 2006 12:59 PM

In response to Loka's last post - yes, this has gone off topic many times. It would be nice if it could remain on topic, but BB and I do acknowledge that the responses will stray. I would hope that after the comment here and there, people will go back to the custody issue, altho' all we can really do is speculate on this point. It's been interesting to hear from our British members to see the differences between the US and England, as far as custody issues go.

peacenyc2004 Jun 11, 2006 01:12 PM

Erin, thank you very much.

I wish HM's impulse to be on Larry King Live would be replaced by keeping a discreet, dignified silence and a return to her life-work, after she has healed from her operation. I don't think such highly visible coverage at this particular juncture will do anymore than stoke the overexposure she and Paul has right now. Her relationship with the media seems very complex. She seems to have a need to be seen and validated, and yet knows the media is not her friend. Reminds me of when Diana spoke on TV to that reporter. It did not come off as she had hoped, did not gain the empathy she had sought. Well, I guess we all have seen HM listens to her own drummer. I worry about if she will publish a book on the marriage, not know when to let her silence speak volumes and just let this blow over.

Hari's Chick Jun 11, 2006 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacenyc2004
Hari, the site is supposed to be a clearing house of information about disability, not one's marriage. You can read this as putting Heather down, but I believe I have a valid opinion having worked in media and film and print publishing for decades. The stuff defending their marriage sits on the same site about severe disabilities, how to be fit for a prosthetic limb, what life is like in war torn countries. Its presence throws off the serious intent of the site. She wants to be taken seriously - but being indiscreet about one's marriage etc. only invited unwanted speculation with its "methinks thou doth protest too much" stance. That is why I believe she does not get wise advice. Paul Newman, Jeffrey Sachs, UN charity sites and others don't post long pages of stuff about their marriages on their charitable cause sites because it is not appropriate. Hearing she will be on Larry King Live soon makes me wonder about her motives, her ability to be discreet, ever. I don't want to hear their lives exposed even more, on live television. Such an interview cannot produce a good outcome for her, or for Paul's reputation. When it comes to charity work, who honestly cares about the charity worker's marriage & if she asked Paul to dye his hair. Without the distracting pages defending their marriage, the site would have more gravitas, it would show her work and cause in a better light. All the talk about her marriage on such a serious site is indiscreet and takes away from its original intent. To then ask at the same time for personal privacy from all media is contradictory. Her own level of indiscretion invited unwanted attention. I don't know. I always pick up Heather claims to not want attention from the media, while in other ways she courts it. That said, I feel badly for her and for Paul. Fame carries some burdens I don't think any of us would want, not for anything. While it can be used for good, attention to a cause, it also seems so suffocating as well.


Hi, peacenyc

Originally I wondered if I should respond, because I know we will not be agreeing with each other, and that's okay of course. I am not trying to persuade you ... but moreover I'm not trying to oppose you either. So, just up front, I wanted to say my intention behind posting again is not to play 'one up's' or 'last word' games. Still, I'd like to address what you say here a bit, and hopefully gently, too.

First, I again wonder about how you put forward that the intent behind Heather's site is primarily for her to discuss disability issues. I did not get that from it. It is called Heather Mills McCartney and has a whole variety of different topics: disability issues, personal issues, and animal rights. It is a combo of topics, from a multifaceted woman. As I see things, she chose to put up a site, which is hers to speak her mind on a whole bunch of issues. Opening a website is a creative endeavor. When someone choses to open one, the whole cyber world opens up with possibilities. And like any artwork, each site is different and a reflection of the producers inner life. Since the site's title is not confined to disabilities, then it puzzles me why you see that as being the intent? It would seem the intent behind the website is to have one consolidated webspace where Heather can share her thoughts with her supporters. Since it is her site, she decides, and it is impossible for it to stray from intention... since it is her intentions which guide it.

So, I must disagree with your view, simply because you base it on suppositions I feel are not Heather's.

But also, while I understand you feel Heather is often indiscreet and inappropriate ... and I understand others here perhaps feel likewise ... I simply do not put too much stock in acting appropriately or even discreetly. I see little point? Societal norms are so very subjective. Needing to follow what is considered 'classy' or even 'appropriate' can be a pointless waste of life and creativity. Societal norms nowadays are projections of the mass media. People watch and swallow whole what the media serves. Concepts go from arbitrary manifestations of social constructs to a 'known' reflection of depoliticized common sense. It's sad. (This is precisely how we wound up with Bush as president!!!) I loved loved loved how John Lennon played with societal norms just to shake folks up in their stagnant notions. :smile1: It was not considered appropriate for John to pose naked, or to have his bed in, or to shave his head (which was outrageous at the time)... and many more things! That is expansive and so inspiring!

After spending years in a snotty So Cal suburb, I certainly was around people who knew the meaning of the word discreet. They knew which salad forks to use and what a service plate was for. But you know... when their kids went to school and encountered the non-catillion kids ... those non-catillion kids suffered so much for not being 'classy'. *That* is where these arbitrary social concepts do a disservice by confusing what is 'good' with what is 'appropriate', and instead of shedding light on society they merely serve the elitist, classist hegemony. What is 'good' is anyone with a good heart and good intentions.

That's not to say there are not kind elitists. :wink1: (I just have not met them yet! :teeth1:)

erinluv182 Jun 12, 2006 08:45 AM

Heh.... thanks for implying that, politically speaking, I have no common sense since I voted for Bush, HC.

You have said some good things, and it is true that we should not do character assassination on Heather and try to imply that she is an unfit mother, etc. And I think you're right that a lot of us will just have to agree to disagree. In general, though, Heather really needs to get some people around her in the future who help to her to make a better image for herself. I think she has a bad habit of tweaking the truth and trying to blur lines because she thinks people will hate her if she comes out and admits some of the things from her past, and I really think that if she is just up-front and honest about it, people will respect that. Case in point: Paul slept around like no other back in the 60s. But people still have a tendency to have quite a bit of respect for him, cause he fesses up to that fact. Heather needs to realize that there are some things in her past, that even if she is ashamed of them, have shaped her to be the person she is today. She needs to embrace that and move on. She's made mistakes, we all have, but it is time to own them.

Harry Jun 12, 2006 08:56 AM

Well she was upfront with Paul and that is all that matters surely.

erinluv182 Jun 12, 2006 02:54 PM

Being up front with Paul is all that matters in their relationship,I will agree with you there Harry. But the truth is that Heather wants to have a good public image as well. It's easy to see that she enjoys being a public figure and that she desires to have a good public image. And there is nothing at all wrong with that. What she needs to realize is there is a reason she has a not-so-great public image, and try to find ways to improve that, rather than just putting blame on others most of the time. I honestly think what it would take is just her willingness to say "yea,so I did some porn back in the day; yea, so I lied about this; oh, and I did this." People respect honesty,and if she wants to improve her image, then she needs to just start being straight with people.

Magill Jun 12, 2006 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erinluv182
Being up front with Paul is all that matters in their relationship,I will agree with you there Harry. But the truth is that Heather wants to have a good public image as well. It's easy to see that she enjoys being a public figure and that she desires to have a good public image. And there is nothing at all wrong with that. What she needs to realize is there is a reason she has a not-so-great public image, and try to find ways to improve that, rather than just putting blame on others most of the time. I honestly think what it would take is just her willingness to say "yea,so I did some porn back in the day; yea, so I lied about this; oh, and I did this." People respect honesty,and if she wants to improve her image, then she needs to just start being straight with people.

It's a pity you have to keep reiterating to get your point across, erinluv. It's a pity some people are being so narrow-minded that they can only concentrate on "saving" Heather's fragile "character". The harsh reality here is people, is that Heather has lost much creditability as a person with many fans. All because of her denial of things and events that actually happened in her life. For example, she denied that she and Paul were separated and were having marital problems. That kinda blew up in her face, didn't it? Yes, one might say that she was merely trying to throw the press off the track with that little "untruth". Paul had the right idea by not saying anything at all. One would think that during her short time of having celebrity status, she'd learn a thing or two about conduct. What you say makes total sense to me, Erin. It's a shame people are trying to pick it apart and make what you're saying into a different animal, altogether. *sigh* Yeah, I'm done.

*edited in by BB1964* All of the Heather related articles have been copied or the links provided to the articles in the thread devoted to articles about her. The previous threads in re articles about Heather have been closed. *end of edit*


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