Totally off-topic but need to cry anyway

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Uh, this might be a bit personal but...it's late and I have no one to talk to right now. So bear with me. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif

This guy that I was in love with (and he was in love with me also) just told me a couple minutes ago that he doesn't love me anymore.

Has anyone ever had an actual knife plunged into their heart and then wrenched out...and then back in again?? Cuz that's about how it feels. I honestly don't think there is a feeling worse than knowing the person you love doesn't love you anymore. Not even The Beatles could cheer me up at this point. This is one of those things that you go through and it hurts so bad that you hope you NEVER have to go through it again...only to find someone else even MORE wonderful and have HIM do the same thing. Do relationships ever stop hurting?? Cuz i'm beginning to think they don't. Which I'm sure is unreasonable. But still. I'd like nothing more than to cry myself to sleep right now and stay asleep for about ten weeks.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and let me get out some pain.
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry.gif

I'm really sorry to hear that, 4thGenFan. Relationships always have the potential to hurt one or both people involved, no matter what the circumstances, but in the long run you are still left with a lot of positives. Usually when you look back on a situation after a while it always seems to work out the way it does for the better. Where one door closes there is always room for another to open. It will take time, but in due course you'll learn to take these positives under your belt and move on with them. You will find your 'one' - and I don't mean the latest Beatles album. Anything up to that point is almost like a test, you go about by trial and error and see what works for you, and what doesn't. And with this you'll grow and become stronger both spiritually, mentally and emotionally. All the negatives at the moment are more like obstacles along your path to the person you will be with forever, the sooner you knock them over the sooner you'll be able to pick yourself back up and carry on along that path. I know it must be hard for you and I can't say I know how you're feeling at this point, because I've never been in your position and was lucky enough to find my soulmate with my very first roll of the dice. Your numbers will come up, though. And when they do you'll know. Sometimes it just takes a few extra turns to roll that double six you're after. You WILL find someone more wonderful, as you said. It is inevitable. And when you do, he will see in you the most wonderful qualities, ones he would have been dreaming about most his life of finding in a girl. And you'll see the exact same in him and know that you're both set for that long and winding road. It's not always guaranteed to be yellow-bricked, but it will be what you make of it. Each quality you hold is a new brick on that road, and the mortar will be the undeniable bond of your love. You'll build it together step by step. It'll be so beautiful, heck you'll want to do it on the road for sure. At times your mortar will be tested and you may feel that road slowing in its progress, but it's at these points where you'll build a bridge together, and help one another across. The negatives will flow beneath and you'll walk over them without trouble - exactly what you need to focus on now. Build a bridge to that other side, where the greener pastures lie. You may even find some help half way and he'll make the rest of the job easier. Double six, you'll see. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif

And remember, all of us at Beatlelinks will be right here whenever you need to offer you our support - that's a goddamn lot of shoulders. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

[jami]

Cry on me, girly girl. I'm very sorry to hear about this. As wonderful as love can be, it can be so hurtful too. Just hang in there, you'll get through it, somehow. I know it seems like you'll never love someone like that again, but you will.... and someone will love you back a thousand times more. Anytime you need to talk, you just type it down here..... we'll help you. Email me if you like! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif

[Lynner]

Sorry to hear of your news, 4thgenfan. I just wanted you to know that I've been there before. I'm sure many others' have, too. It takes a long time for the hurt to go away, but go away it does. What can you do to help yourself heal? Many things, but the biggest help I've ever found is to stay in touch with your friends. Do not shut yourself away. Even if you don't want to talk about it, be with your friends. They will help. Try to smile. Smiles will soon enough turn to laughter. Good luck to you.

[jtal909]

Hang in there, 4thGen, cause time heals all wounds.

[Tim]

4thgenfan,
jtal is right. Time does heal all wounds. It also wounds all heels. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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Tim
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Duchy Of Grand Fenwick

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I just want to thank you five for your kind words today. I didn't cry over it last night and that gave me hope that I'd be ok...but then of course I woke up this morning, got in the car, heard a song that reminded me of him, and didn't stop crying for about 15 minutes straight. Argh! Anyway, needless to say, today has been painful.

But NWM, your message was so incredible! Thank you so much for that! And same to you, Jami, I will definitely email you if I need a "shoulder to cry on".http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif Thanks Lynner and Jtal for your kind words. And Tim, thanks for the half-hearted laugh.http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif

You guys are SO great.

[mindgames]

That's Nowhere Man/Guy/Gentleman/Whatever, a great guy.

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This week, the Beatles' greatest hits album, "1", is at number thirteen on the USA album charts.

[bearkat77]

4thGenFan, I can sympathize with you. I've been down that road as well. Yes, only time and plenty of friends will be your best remedy. You just got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving.
There's an aweful lot of lemons out there and you'll find some, unfortunately. But when you do find that perfect apple (of your eye), you'll know that you have found Eden.

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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

Who's Eden?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 4thGenFan:
But NWM, your message was so incredible! Thank you so much for that!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You're most welcome, 4thGenFan, anytime. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif Preferably after 9 though, I'm not much of a morning person.

[Rellevart]

Oh 4GF, that's awful! I hope you're feeling a little better now that a couple days have passed. Lynner is right - going out with friends and keeping distracted has helped me when in a similar situation. Time is really the only thing that helps, but honestly, it does, even though it might not feel like it now. And I know what you mean about hearing a song that brings back painful memories! I couldn't listen to any love songs once for about 3 months without making rude sarcastic comments. Hang in there; it'll get better.

[This message has been edited by Rellevart (edited April 03, 2001 at 04:56 AM).]

[Eleanor_rigby]

4th Gen.....how are things going?
No matter how you feel now...time heals wounds....so just keep postin on here....time will fly and you will feel better. Eventually I think you will look back and know that the experience enriched your life...and made you better for the next.
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif but it hurts soooo right now. That's why if you want you can e-mail me too.

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Fab 4 Forever! (http://www.fab4forever1.homestead.com)
Gotta visit THE site!
eleanor_rigby_97@hotmail.com

"Give us a Kiss"
"All you need is Love...Love is all you need."

[SleepyHead]

4GF, you've been dealt a cruddy hand of cards... hold the good ones, and toss the bad ones back in, okay?

Focus on something else... anything else, in fact. Put those mental blinders on so you're not "seeing" him and "hearing" him everywhere you go. The knife wounds will heal, if you don't keep playing with them. It takes time and patience, but they will heal.

Don't blame yourself... we women have a wonderful tendency to do that to ourselves, but it's a big no-no. When a "man" suddenly decides the grass is greener in someone else's yard, he has shown a great level of immaturity by refusing to tend to his own yard.

Folks in this country tend to tout that all the time when it comes to questions of foreign policy - "Let's tend to our own (poor, needy, hungry, sick, fill in the blank...) before trying to fix another country's. Charity begins at home." But people of both genders are showing an increasingly distressing tendency to apply a double-standard when it comes to their own lives.

One day, you'll find a man who will tend the grass in his own yard... If he stays busy with his own yard, he won't have time or energy to even notice someone else's greener grass, let alone hop the fence to get it.

And by the way, avoid fence-hoppers... once they've hopped one fence, it becomes all too easy to hop another one.


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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You guys are so incredibly wonderful. Not that you don't already KNOW that.http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

Him and I talked last night and...it was interesting. He was begging me for forgiveness, and that is NOT an exaggeration. Apparently he thought *I* was going to end it soon, and he was hurt, so he tried ("tried" being the key word) to not love me so that it would be easier to just end it now. He's obviously insecure. Then he wrote me an epistle on how wrong he was and how much he cares about me and how stupid he is (I'D say!) and how much he needs me. Kinda touching. I guess the ball's in my court now.

Hmmm. Interesting indeed. While I'm glad for your sake that things seem to have worked out and can start getting back to normal, I don't understand why he simply couldn't have taken the time to talk to you and work things out before any of this mess began in the first place, that's qute a bit of miscommunication there. When you marry eachother, just be careful if you happen to not talk to him for half a day. I hope he doesn't file for divorce because he thinks you want one yourself.

What I'm saying is, he hurt you pretty bad, that's the bottom line. So, at least make him suffer a little longer before he wins you back. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

[SleepyHead]

The important thing, 4GF, is "Do you believe him?" Not do you want to, or you think you should, but do you believe him?

If you do... then take him back. But first, you two need to sit down and find out what you were doing or saying or acting out that lead him to believe you were going to give him the old "heave-ho". It sounds like maybe you're sending crossed signals... or you're broadcasting on AM and he's receiving on FM. NWM is right about that, you do need to learn to communicate, 'cause something sure got miscommunicated in a major way.

You will learn to take a lot of things on faith over the course of your life. Make sure you build the foundation strong, so when this type of miscommunication pops up again (it will, too, we're human not mirror images of each other), you will have that small nugget of faith to keep you still while you wait for the tangle to identify itself. Notice I did not say "wait for it to untangle itself"... that never happens. You will have to do it, but to unknot a tangle, you have to find both ends, and follow them into the snarl to find out where the paths crossed the first time...

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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hmmm...ya know, I'd LOVE to place all the blame on him but I guess I can't. I've been thinking lately and I guess I can see how he'd get that impression. The thing is, we have SUCH a great relationship, we're SO compatible AND! He is a TOTAL Beatlesfreak! (that gets him lots of points with mehttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif) I mean, it's basically just wonderful. But about a week ago, he said something that kinda hurt my feelings and I got upset and told him we should just not talk for awhile. I didn't give a reason, so he just assumed I was having doubts since I had never done anything like that before.

My point is, we were both wrong. Me for not giving reasons and him for assuming the worst. You guys are right- lack of communication is BAAAAD! We talked last night and patched things up and I told him that (DUH!) of course I still love him! And he cried! How can you NOT love a guy that cries??? Thanks for helping me through it, guys. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

mariss

[Lynner]

4gf'

That's great that he made an effort to contact you and talk. Too bad he didn't do that in the first place. Keep the lines of communication open and try to make sure that being back together is what you both want. Good luck and happy thoughts!

[darkhorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lynner:
Keep the lines of communication open!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think that's the most important thing in here. I'm a little late to express my comprehension, my support and all the affection in the world to you, 4thGenFan. The thing you said about the knife... Well my first relationship was kind of like that. And I still have the edge of that knife in my body. Neither the University, nor my family and friends had been able to take it off of me, but God how much they have helped. And the communication with the other person... I think lots of things could have been avoided if we had talked first...

But this was about you. "Get on the right thing", as Paul says, and do what it feels better for you. If you feel he's the one, "you'll know". Trust me. You always know that. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/smile.gif

All my loving.



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"The future still looks good..."

[Glen V]

Originally posted by 4thGenFan:
But about a week ago, he said something that kinda hurt my feelings and I got upset and told him we should just not talk for awhile.
My point is, we were both wrong. Me for not giving reasons and him for assuming the worst. You guys are right- lack of communication is BAAAAD! We talked last night and patched things up and I told him that (DUH!) of course I still love him! And he cried! How can you NOT love a guy that cries??? Thanks for helping me through it, guys. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

mariss
---------------------------------------------
Mariss : How's my "BEST GAL" from Utah doing..? I just read your post today. I hope everything is resolved. You have alot of friends here at the Beatlelinks. Believe me 4thGenFan, "Communication" is the key. Also, Nowhere Man said it earlier : "Build a bridge to the other side where the greener pastures lie"..... Hang in there..! Beside, If I here anyone being abusive to you Mariss, I'll drived down Interstate 70 from Denver, CO and up to Salt Lake City, UT and give him a knuckle sandwich. Take Care, Your Big Bro Glen.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Big bro Glen:

Wow, I didn't know I had my own personal bodyguard! Good thing CO isn't far from UT.

The situation is getting better all the time, I hope it stays this way. But you never know with guys! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/rolleyes.gif

Thanks for caring.

Your BEST GAL Mariss http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dork2.gif