Ponderings...

[Hari's Chick]

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered>>>>>assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Lady Madonna]

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



guilty :blush4:

[kmac]

How is it that we put man on the moon ........

Ahha, I knew you would come around HC. :teeth1:

These sound a lot like the musings of George Carlin.

[bearkat77]

Why is it that we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[VersusBatman]

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours, why is there a lock on the doors?

[Harbidge]

Here's one: How come nobody ever makes Cup-a-Soup in a bowl?

[VersusBatman]

Why is there ten hotdog buns in a package, but eight hotdogs in a package?

[Mccartneyluvr]

Why do round pizzas come in a square box?

[VersusBatman]

If Bugs Bunny is naked, why does he wrap a towel around himself after getting out of the shower?

Why doesn't Wile E Coyote use the money he buys those ACME products to buy food?

[ringo_rama]

I'm too analytical to allow some of these to be mere ponderings...

Why is it that we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Parkways got their name because of their surroundings (trees, etc.), which were reminscent of parks. Dunno about driveways.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

The hinge on a round box would be small and awkward. A square box ensures that the top won't be ripped off unless done purposely.

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours, why is there a lock on the doors?

7-11 got their name because they were originally open from 7 AM to 11 PM. That's when the locks were useful. Nowadays, if an employee is working alone and needs to step out, they don't want someone to come in and steal anything. Likewise, some emergency situations require 7-11s to close down temporarily. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little extra security.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Little-known fact, but scientists were working on this and then boom comes Sputnik. So there's a space race and wheel luggage gets put on hold. Had Russia waited a year or two, it would have happened the other way around.

If Bugs Bunny is naked, why does he wrap a towel around himself after getting out of the shower?

No guy wants to walk around all day with a wet carrot.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Bras were originally invented by the CIA to be used--believe it or not--as http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg! Their plan didn't work, and http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg. Panties were designed for the same reason, but again, despite their best attempts, they were unable to kill President http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg.

Last edited by the CIA : one second after this post was submitted.

[kmac]

Bras were originally invented by the CIA to be used--believe it or not--as http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg! Their plan didn't work, and http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg. Panties were designed for the same reason, but again, despite their best attempts, they were unable to kill President http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4595/blackbario2.jpg.

Last edited by the CIA : one second after this post was submitted.

LMAO Well done.

[kmac]

More Carlinisms:

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

My personal favorite for now:

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

[Rellevart]

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

They do if there's any justice in the world. :laugh5:








kidding, kidding, before the synchonized swimmer lovers come and slash my tires... :wink1:

[Hari's Chick]

More Carlinisms:

What was the best thing before sliced bread?


If God dropped acid, would he see people?


:laugh2:!!

[Hari's Chick]

I love the skit George Carlin did about Catholics/Holy days of Obligation ... "if you're out on a boat and cross the international date line..."

:laugh5: It reminds me of how we persecuted our religion teacher in 10th grade. :blush1:

[PepperlandFrog]

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours, why is there a lock on the doors?Depends on your frame of reference.
If Bugs Bunny is naked, why does he wrap a towel around himself after getting out of the shower?Because maybe he's more naked in the shower.
Why doesn't Wile E Coyote use the money he buys those ACME products to buy food?Heh. I don't know, maybe he's broke.
Can you cry under water? I sure can't but i haven't tried it in awhile.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Not to the taxman, maybe it's just a state of mind kind of thing.

[mari]

If Barbie's so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

[beatlebangs1964]

Cause money can't buy them love.

The pit bull - why it is neither.

The toadstool - why it is neither a toad nor a stool. Discuss.

And why does a bald eagle get recognized for baldness and not a buzzard, who really is bald?

Is there a difference between vultures and buzzards?

[feelfab]

If doers do, and painters paint...

do trousers trouse?
or scissors sciss?

And if women have menopause; do men have womenopause? And shouldn't hysterecomy be hyrsterectomy?

[beatlebangs1964]

And does torpor torp and stupor stoop?

[beatlelover45223]

Those were great HC, thanks!

[mari]

The toadstool - why it is neither a toad nor a stool. Discuss.


And how about the guinea pig...? Is it from Guinea? Any relation to the pig?

[digdad]

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If a word in the dictionary was misspelled, how would we know?

[beatlebangs1964]

Invaluable is a bizarre word. Valuable means to place great importance on something; invaluable is used to mean necessary and appreciated. If so, then why the negating prefix "in"?

Ungrateful means to be unappreciative. One who is unappreciative is called an ingrate. Why a different prefix?

[feelfab]

And do fingers fing, and shoulders should?

[VersusBatman]

Do drunk elephants see pink people?

[jtal909]

where are my polyester pants?

[feelfab]

where are my polyester pants?

Look in the drawer with the big gold chains and platforms

[kmac]

Honesty may be the best policy, but apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

[Magill]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? :nono3:

[mari]

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

[kmac]

What year did Jesus think it was?

[mari]

If someone wears a white sheet for Halloween, why do people always assume they're going as a ghost? They could be going as a matress..

[BadLittleKid]

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


This probably derives from the time when all television shows were broadcast live.

[Lucy]

Why do I always struggle to wake up during the week yet at the weekend I am wide awake first thing?

[feelfab]

What do flashing colored lights really have to do with Xmas? It's more Vegas to me.

[jtal909]

Why do I always struggle to wake up during the week yet at the weekend I am wide awake first thing?

you too?

During the work week I stay up late on general principle and not so late on the weekend when I know I can sleep in if I want.

[george_on_cloud9]

These are just nonsense!

[george_on_cloud9]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? :nono3:

Cool phrase!

[bearkat77]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? :nono3:

I don't know how much he would chuck but if he could chuck, he would chuck wood.

[hibgal]

I think he'd lay down on the job! http://www.pestproducts.com/images/woodchuck.JPG

[jtal909]

why don't you ever see the headline, "Psychic wins lottery!"

why is abbreviated such a long word

why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring and dishwashing detergent made with real lemons

why is the man who invests all your money called a broker

why is the slowest traffic time of day called rush hour

why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together

you know that indestructible black box on airplanes? why don't they make the entire airpalne oput of that stuff!

[Hari's Chick]

why don't you ever see the headline, "Psychic wins lottery!"

why is abbreviated such a long word

why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring and dishwashing detergent made with real lemons

why is the man who invests all your money called a broker

why is the slowest traffic time of day called rush hour

why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together

you know that indestructible black box on airplanes? why don't they make the entire airpalne oput of that stuff!


:laugh2: !!!