Children

[Rellevart]

Something I was saying on another topic made me think of this one. What do you think about children and babies? Are you one of those people who coos over every baby you see or one that goes "Yuck. It's drooling." Do you relate well to children or do you not have anything to say to them? If you don't have kids, do you want them eventually? If you do have kids, are you happy with the number you have or do you want more?

I'm sort of a "kid person" and sort of not. I love kids, but I also love to give them back to their parents at the end of the day. I don't think I have the patience and the tolerance for repetition that you'd need to be a good parent. And that whole discipline thing - I know they need it, but I just hate feeling like the "bad guy". So on the whole, I'm a great aunt, but never really had any desire to have kids of my own. (Which worked out ok, since I'm single!) I tend to like toddlers and older kids more than babies, because I love talking to them just to see what they'll come up with next.

[Sally]

Well i love kids and have two of my own, but I am not mushy (far from it) and have never cooed and ga ga'd over them, not even mine. I couldn't bear it when people went all mushy over my boys as babies y'know the "Whos my little bobsy coochy face then" :barf3:

I think kids benefit from being spoken to like adults from a young age but also letting them know who is boss, i don't go in for all this treat them like your friends, they are not, they are your kids and you are the boss and they need to know it.

My eldest son never calls me Mummy only Sally and his Dad Jorge, it doesn't bother Jorge but it bothers me, i want him to call me Mummy but he just doesn't. People assume I am his nanny or aunt or something but i want people to know he is my son because he is beautiful and bright and I am proud of him (who is being mushy now :laugh5: ) unless he is naughty of course and then i happy for people to think i am his aunt :wink2:

I have two sons and I had them at 34 and 36, i am pleased I had them late cos i got to travel and do lots of things before they came along however you do notice physically being and older mother, its hard and tiring.

[sourmilkpinky]

Interesting topic....before I had kids I figured they were okay....as long as they weren't mine...When I got married and then pregnant my in laws all wanted me to 'practice' on the neices and nephews...I was not interested. It concerned everyone. I figured it I was gonna drop one..it better be my own :)

Now that my kids are mostly grown up...I occassionally will go 'awww how sweet' or that is a very well-behaved child. Once in awhile even, Man that is one awesome 'little person'.....but usually I am indifferent or think..get the kid under control please....

I am going to make a great old grumpy person :)

[Sally]

Interesting topic....before I had kids I figured they were okay....as long as they weren't mine...When I got married and then pregnant my in laws all wanted me to 'practice' on the neices and nephews...I was not interested. It concerned everyone. I figured it I was gonna drop one..it better be my own :)

Now that my kids are mostly grown up...I occassionally will go 'awww how sweet' or that is a very well-behaved child. Once in awhile even, Man that is one awesome 'little person'.....but usually I am indifferent or think..get the kid under control please....

I am going to make a great old grumpy person :)

:laugh5: :laugh5: I am exactly like that, i can't bear out of control kids but at the same time i have been there, but what really annoys me is badly behaved kids where the parents just turn a blind eye.

[Rellevart]

what really annoys me is badly behaved kids where the parents just turn a blind eye.

That's annoying, but what's even worse is when the parents see the kid doing something really annoying and they're all "Oh, isn't my little precious sweetie just the cutest thing EVER????" No. He's not. Particularly when he's kicking me under the table or whatever other annoying thing you think is so cutesy-poo. Blah.

[Rellevart]

I think kids benefit from being spoken to like adults from a young age but also letting them know who is boss

I think I would like your kids. :smile1: I always talk to little kids like they're adults. I remember one party when Lynn's daughter was just a few months old and I was holding her and asking her "So, what did you think about the Cubs game" and telling her about my wild night out the night before and she'd smile and laugh at me. I think some of her "real" aunties were a bit scandalized. LOL!!

[Hari's Chick]

I loooove kids, which is a very good thing considering we have about 20 kids of roughly equal 'playing age' on my block... and they are often streaming through my house and eating my food. :smile1:

I coo at babies, and have yet to meet one I'd not love to hold and cuddle and snuggle close with. I love how babies smell.. not the diapers, lol, but the smell of their hair and skin is so sweet. Babies when they can barely hold their head up and their neck is all wobbley and they look around in bewildered amazement at the world... and then when they can laugh and each has such a different laugh! Even toddlers... one three year old I know has the LOUDEST laugh I've ever heard and she is so so so tiny! Every time she laughs I always cannot help but laugh, too!!! We get into giggle fits...

I have two kids but if I had the money I'd be like Mia Farrow and foster or adopt a dozen more. We have another boy who nearly lives at our house, too, and we call him our eldest, lol. He literally only sleeps at his own house and spends all his weekends and vacations and stuff with us... so when we join things with membership cards we always get one for him! In that way we kinda have three. A similar 'fourth' we had just moved recently and I miss him... these two boys are in every 'family picture' we've taken I think for years!!

Yeah, and I am definitely not the discipline person. I am the 'befriend and reason with them' kind of person. If they do anything wrong I generally take the 'but that hurts feelings' approach or use my kids favorite line of mine 'just because it is funny does not mean it is the right thing to do'. :wink2:

I love how kids have these pearls of wisdom... yesterday my daughter was thinking about upcoming holidays and she said, "Christmas is not about presents..... it's about love..... and cookies." :smile1:

[Hari's Chick]

"Oh, isn't my little precious sweetie just the cutest thing EVER????" No. He's not. Particularly when he's kicking me under the table or whatever other annoying thing you think is so cutesy-poo. Blah.

:laugh2: !!!! You crack me up, Rell!!

[Starry-eyed]

Yes I love children. I have two of my own, and if I didn't have them so late in life (36 and 37 years old) I probably would've had a couple more. I can't imagine my life without them, and they're my number one prioroity. When they were little, our house was always filled with children, as our house was THE place to go... we had every Little Tykes Toy imaginable, both inside and out. You'd think it was a TOYS R US store. But I loved it. I've always been a stay-at-home mom, and wouldn't have had it any other way. I guess I just have the patience and tolerance for babies/children.
Now that mine are older (they are 12 and 13) and in middle school, I STILL have lots of little ones around - because I do childcare. I've been doing that for about 8 years now, ever since my two were in preschool. Right now, I watch a 5-year old girl every afternoon, a 4-year old boy two days a week, and a 4-MONTH old baby every day full time. (she's sitting here next to me in her swing smiling as I type this!)
So do I love children? Absolutely! :smile1:

[flowergirl]

I love children too and hope to have some of my own one day, my cousins have children and they are all adorable, i am an only child so i have no nieces or nephews but I am close to my cousins children.

[Asha]

I was the oldest growing up & was put "in charge" of the youngest two at an early age. My mother also babysat extra kids, so there were around 10-12 kids in our house at all times & I had to take care of them with her. The youngest in our family is nearly 10 years younger than me & she tells people when she introduces me that I'm her sister, but really more like her mother. :laugh5:

When I was young, I thought I'd have kids. It was a given in my mind & to care for them just seemed natural to me somehow. I love babies/kids & coo a bit when they're very very small. But after a few months, I just start talking to them more & more. By the time they're one, I just talk to them like anybody else.

I never ended up having any of my own. But it's ok. I still feel I can relate because of caring for my youngest sister so much. Only recently, I've noticed when I see her & watch the relationship that we have, she really is like a daughter even if she is my sister. I can't explain it. My relationship with my other sister (only a year & a half younger is TOTALLY different!) Today my youngest sister has two girls of her own & they were just here visiting. & yes, I noticed that while they are my nieces, they are more like granddaughters to me.

So, in that way, I don't feel like I'm missing out at all. I know there are times to praise & guide & be firm. I've patched up scratched body parts, fixed toys, helped with homework, guided & even had to hand out punishments of some sort or another. I know I had my mother around for the first few years of this before she went to work full time, so I admit, I never had to be a mother 100% of the time, so I probably had it a bit easier!

Anyway, I do enjoy children very much! In fact, I was worried about having my nieces for 2.5 weeks all on my own & felt good when I got to send them home. But, within two days, I was already wishing they were back here with me! :heart1:

[ringo_rama]

I'm not a kid's person at all; most of them really annoy me. I hate when family members ask if I want to hold their babies, because they tend to get really pissed off when I say no.

The one exception would be a 4-year-old who frequently visits the hospital my aunt works at. Unfortunately, last year around Thanksgiving time, he became blind as a result of all the treatment he needs.

[ChrisG134]

I'm like Rell on this one.I don't want any either.I'm 39 and too old to have any if I did.I knew I didn't want any cause when ever I saw any I really didn't coo or pick them up.I never really had the desire.

[NaomiMcCartney]

I love kids and I love babies. I hope to someday when my time has come to be able to have at least two kids of my very own.

On the other hand many kids now adays seem to want to grow up too fast. It is pretty sad when you hear about 12 year old kids becoming parents when they haven't even entered high school yet. Even high school age kids I feel shouldn't be having sex. Kids should enjoy being kids instead of trying to be little adults with the mind and body of a kid.

[Magill]

I love most babies and children. And, they will generally like me, too. What I hate is when I'm out shopping, having some quiet "me" time, and there's a collicky baby in the store with me. Or some bratty or tired toddler there screaming and/or crying at the top of their lungs because Mommy is obviously too busy shopping to tend to them. Gahd! I just wanna get in these Mommy's faces, shake them and say "Will you PLEEEEEAZE do something about your kid???" I swear, it's like nail scraping on a chalkboard for me. *sigh* Anyhoo--back to your topic, Rell. No, I don't dote on infants. Even if they are oh-so-very cute. I will take a look and smile and talk to the baby. Not baby talk, but normal talk. I have always talked to children normally. Not in a high pitched, sugary tone of voice. That's the way I've treated my own daughter and I think she's all the better for it too. :smile1:

[ringo_rama]

I love kids and I love babies. I hope to someday when my time has come to be able to have at least two kids of my very own.

On the other hand many kids now adays seem to want to grow up too fast. It is pretty sad when you hear about 12 year old kids becoming parents when they haven't even entered high school yet. Even high school age kids I feel shouldn't be having sex. Kids should enjoy being kids instead of trying to be little adults with the mind and body of a kid.

"I believe in making this world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."
--Jack Handey

[motherTheresa]

this reminded me of something that happened to me a while back....

i was in the check out line at the grocery store. putting all my items

on the conveyor belt, when a little girl of about 7 got in line in back

of me with her grandmother. well, things were not going quickly enough

for the "little princess", who moaned " this line isn't mooooooooving!".

well, a little while later & again she is whining "THIS LINE ISN'T

MOOOOOOVING!" well, that did it. i turned around, leaned down &

glaring at her responded "THEN GET IN ANOTHER LINE!" :laugh2:

then her grandmother started yelling at her in polish & the little brat

started crying. uh, i was having a thyroid problem at the time....:look:

it made me extremely irritable.....:look: i like kids, really. :teeth1:

[LovinLennon909]

I love little girls at all ages, but boys tend to irritate me once they get to be about 10 years old, until they are 20. I hope to have a mess of kids one day, but I must admit I'd probably secretly hope for girls.
I hate baby talk. I never talk baby talk, although I certainly love to cuddle with babies. Whenever anyone meets my tiny little dog, they always want to talk baby talk to her, and that irritates me--and she's not even a human.

[beatlegirl9977]

I love kids--I work with them all day! What I find that works with them is structure, structure, structure, structure (did I mention structure??); we have a set routine for the day, and expectations for behavior are set from Day One of the school year. The past two years I have really not had ANY discipline problems in my classroom, and we service kids who statistically are more prone to behavioral issues...so we must be doing SOMEthing right. :smile1:

And babies are fun, too; like HC mentioned, they just smell so good, like baby powder and formula. They have those little toothless or two-tooth grins, teeny-tiny fingers, a fascination with exploring EVERYTHING in every way, and they are just so darn happy most of the time!

And as for talking to kids, yes, we talk to them not necessarily like we do to adults, but clearly and understandably, and without any baby talk. (Word games and silly rhymes are ok, like "napkin bapkin" and things like that--that actually helps kids develop crucial language skills...but we don't just constantly say "goo goo boo boo" or whatever to the kids). I have kids with speech issues in my classroom, and it's always amazing how I can get full, thoughtful sentences out of one of the kids, but the minute Mom picks him up at the end of the day, he reverts back to "eeeeeeaaaaaagh!" and pointing his finger instead of actually TALKING. I know what the problem is, though... those two kids' parents don't TALK to their children. They either yell at them or don't pay attention to them and talk away from them--it's no wonder the tots talk to their teachers more than their parents!

I love working in Early Head Start/Head Start because, in some cases, we deal with the kids from the week they're born 'til the week before they go off to kindergarten, and to see the way they develop and learn things is absolutely amazing! And you never see as much joy in learning as early childhood students have--their whole day is spent being excited about learning new things.

[Lynner]

I love kids! Always have! I've always wanted to be a mom and have been blessed with two of my own. If I'd been a stay at home mom, I'd probably would have liked a few more (my husband has 7 siblings), but with the way the world is today, this is the right number for us. Like Sally, I had both when I was in my 30's and I think tat helped me. I got to do travel, stay out all night, etc, so I don't feel like I missed out on anything, altho' I do sometimes miss the "stay out late and dance" nights.

Babies are precious! I love holding them and think that baby giggles must bethe best sound in the world. I'm not really a "baby talk" kind of person, as in "goo goo", but will admit to sometimes using singsong, nonsense words around them.

I have an almost three year old niece who's absolutely precious, but after having her with me for the entire day earlier this week, I can honestly say that I don't miss that mine are no longer that young!

As for discipline, I'm the bad guy in our family, altho' my husband does his share, as well. My feeling is that if you don't set an example and let your children know what you expect of them, how will they every learn to behave? Some people have gotten down on me for being strict, yet others tell me how well my children behave and how kind they our. This certainly makes me think I'm doing right by my children.

I could go on this topic for hours, can't you tell? :smile1:

[Siobhan]

I love kids, but I'm not the type to get all silly over them. I was the youngest at home and in my extended family for a long time so I didn't really have much to do with babies when I was young. In fact before I had my own kids I think I only ever held two other babies. But when I had my own kids it all came pretty naturally and they are definitely the best thing I ever did. I wouldn't have any more though - at least not for the moment. My two are quite a handful, and I think if I had any more I wouldn't be able to give them all as much individual time as I would like to.

I agree with what has been said about being firm with your kids. They need discipline as much as they need love. My kids are pretty good though. I'm proud to say that they have never (touch wood) had a major tantrum in public, or even at home really.

[Rellevart]

Some people have gotten down on me for being strict, yet others tell me how well my children behave and how kind they our. This certainly makes me think I'm doing right by my children.

I don't think you're "strict", you give them some room, you just let them know they can't get away with EVERYTHING. And they are well behaved and nice kids. I like hanging out with them. :smile1:

[Lynner]

Thanks, Rell'! :teeth1:

[Asha]

Yup! I agree with Rell, Lynner! You're doing good! Hang in there! :teeth1:

[Celebrian]

I like kids. I love working with kids at the barn and volunteering for those with disabilities...

but

I truly feel they are not for me, for reasons I do not want to get into. That said, I don't mind babysitting. :baby: