Joke: Husband Mart

[EnchantingLennon]

A husband shopping center has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building and you can never re-enter.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 123,456,789,012,345 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at HusbandMart and have a nice day.

[SF4-EVER]

graemlins/laugh2.gif

And here I thought the sixth floor would have men who have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, have a strong romantic streak--and be willing to commit.

I'm sure the men would do the same thing at WifeMart.

[foolonthehill664]

hehe i thought that the next floor up would have been...

these men are gay.
go figure all the really nice guys that are good looking ussualy are hehe

[DizzymissLizzy909]

graemlins/laugh5.gif
As a female I have no comment. images/icons/wink.gif

[HMVNipper]

Actually, if you read between the lines of this joke, it's kind of insulting towards women, don't ya think? The implication that "women are impossible to please" and all that...

Well, even so, now I know why I didn't shop at "Husband Mart" for MY wonderful husband...he's too good for that clip joint! images/icons/wink.gif

I found the best man on the planet (with all those positive attributes and more) all by myself, thank you very much, so I guess *I'm* not impossible to please and didn't need "Husband Mart" to tell me so! images/icons/wink.gif

[ Dec 21, 2003, 01:22 AM: Message Edited By: HMVNipper ]

[JDanRyan]

There are only two groups of men I know who actually like this joke, which has been floating around since the invasion of Grenada:

* One group is the set who when you put enough drinks in them, confess and say, "I am never going to find a decent woman to marry;" and

* The other group is the set who when you put enough drinks in them, confess and say, "I am never going to get a woman to sleep with me."

Are there any female fans of this joke here that would really want to be lumped soundly into these categories?

[SleepyHead]

I laughed like crazy when I read this joke - as did my 5 sisters, 6 aunts, 4 of my s-i-l's, both my mother and Kat's...

No, we don't exactly see ourselves lumped in with a bunch of bonzo gals who shop for their next husband like some folks shop for their next Ferrari or their dream home.

But we do hear the echo of our very own voices as we honed and fine-toothed our inner image of our "ideal" man over the course of several years. And, of course, we laugh at the absurdity of it - and the absurdity of our own Mr. Right who never appeared, either.

As we sit and ponder over it, however, we each think the same thing - "Those are EXACTLY the qualities I sought most earnestly for!"

As a matter of fact - those are the qualities about my husband that attracted me to him in the first place.

I've heard of far sillier lists of qualities - one friend of mine wouldn't dream of going on a date with anyone who wasn't ready to throw his towel into Amway, heart and soul.

One girl wanted a man who drove a Ferrari.

One wanted a man who had enough money in the bank, that if he died tomorrow, she'd still be able to live like the Princess her Daddy'd brought her up to be without having to earn one more dollar for herself for the rest of her life.

One wanted a guy who'd make her daddy look like a schmuck - she wasn't very fond of Dear Old Dad, y'see.

One wanted a man who already had his own kids, so she wouldn't have to go through childbirth.

In this day and age, those qualities listed in the joke don't sound bad at all - in fact, all of the men I ever dated met each of those qualities. Only one met my 6th floor criteria, though - he actually loves me, just the way I am.