Joke/Guys get revenge

[beatlelover45223]

> A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly
> > > the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said,
> > > "Because
> > > you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
> > > wish."
> > > The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
> > > want."
> > >
> > > The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the
> > > enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports
> > > required to
> > > reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take!
> > > It
> > > will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is
> > > hard
> > > for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more
> > > time
> > > and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
> > >
> > > The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I
> > > wish that I could understand my wife! I want to know how she feels
> > > inside,
> > > what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she
> > > cries,
> > > what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong', and how I can make a
> > > woman
> > > truly happy."
> > >
> > > The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
>

[Magill]

D'OH! graemlins/laugh5.gif

[taxgirl]

graemlins/laugh2.gif graemlins/laugh2.gif
O boy, even the Lord doesn't understand us images/icons/wink.gif

[HeyBeatle]

Tee hee, that's funny. I don't think I'm that hard to understand though, I mean as a woman I don't do the whole silent treatment, talk to someone when you really hate them deal. Why mess with peoples heads?

[Magill]

I, for one, am as clear as mud. graemlins/crosseyed2.gif *

graemlins/laugh3.gif

[Hari Krishna]

And I thought God knew everything! graemlins/laugh5.gif *
Seriously, are we really that hard to understand to you guys?!

[Magill]

I got this today at work. It's in the same spirit..man humor, ya know.

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
> >
> >Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
> >
> >Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”
> >
> >Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
> >”How long will this take?” She asks.
> >
> >”They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.
> >
> >The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”
> >
> >Without missing a beat the husband says “Worked for your butt; didn’t it?”
> >
> >He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

Nice, huh girls? graemlins/images/icons/rolleyes.gif

[DizzymissLizzy909]

Man, I wouldn't want to be in the man's position right then... if he did survive, then THAT's the miracle!

[lennon4]

graemlins/laugh2.gif

-lennon4

[HeyBeatle]

Originally Posted By DizzymissLizzy909:
Man, I wouldn't want to be in the man's position right then... if he did survive, then THAT's the miracle!<font size="2" face="Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif">Me thinks you're correct on that one. I pity the fool who actually says that to his wife.

Whoa, I went a little Mr. T there, whoops!

[beatlewho01-02]

graemlins/laugh7.gif *Oh gosh that joke cracks me up. I better not marry a man like that because if he said something like that to me, I would kill him.

[JDanRyan]

Originally Posted By DizzymissLizzy909:
Man, I wouldn't want to be in the man's position right then... if he did survive, then THAT's the miracle!<font size="2" face="Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif">I'm not sure I want to know what position he ended up in after she got through with him; with any luck she didn't train in something that would expand her menu of options radically... graemlins/devil7.gif

[beatlelover45223]

Originally Posted By Magill:
I got this today at work. It's in the same spirit..man humor, ya know.

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
&gt; &gt;”How long will this take?” She asks.
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;”They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;Without missing a beat the husband says “Worked for your butt; didn’t it?”
&gt; &gt;
&gt; &gt;He lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

Nice, huh girls? graemlins/images/icons/rolleyes.gif <font size="2" face="Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif">I got that one a few weeks ago at home, hahaha, maybe we ought to start a daily joke thing on the board?