Glossary of the Yiddish Kind

[SleepyHead]

Part I

AFIKOMMENTS n. Adult arguing that occurs
as children search for hidden Passover matzo.

ASHKESHNOZZIM n. A nose the shape of
Florida and the size of medium potato.

BAGELA n. A gay Jewish baker.

BIALY ACHE n. The result of lunch at your mother's
and dinner at your mother-in law's.

BLINTZKRIEG n. A late-night assault on the
refrigerator in search of leftovers even though
"I won't be able to eat for a week!" Particularly
common 4-6 hours after special occasion gluttony.

BRIS AND TELL n. A detailed description given
by parents of their child's circumcision, generally
spoken quite loud in front of the grown child and
those people he would least like to hear the story.

BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her
grandchildren that she never gave to her own
children.

CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4
am so she can change the baby's diaper.

DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen
the same exasperated look on your mother's
face but not knowing exactly when.


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Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
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[SleepyHead]

Part II

DISCAHKENTUDE n. Looking like one isn't
involved while one's dog goes to the bathroom
on a neighbor's lawn.

DISKVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school,
med school or business school, as seen through
the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.
(In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art
history when Irv's son, David is majoring in biology,
is sufficient grounds for diskvellification).

DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in
a department store and strikes up a conversation
with everyone she passes.

FLEISHADICK n. A Jewish flasher.

FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli
street food.

GOYFER n. A gentile messenger.

HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever
learned immediately after one's Bar Mitzvah.

HEBRUTE n. Israeli after shave.

HINDSTEIN n. A Semitic smart-arse.

IMPASTA n. Someone who eats leavened foods
during Passover while maintaining he/she is
observant.

ISROYALTY n. Major contributors to the UJA, the
JUF, or the IEF.


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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Anybody else have any Yiddish jokes to share? Biglou? Anyone else???

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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Part III

JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's
favorite celebrity is Jewish.

JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense
based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.

KINDERSCHLEP vb. To be called on to carpool
more children than one has fingers, in a car that
was made in Japan.

MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as
good as mother used to make.

MATZILATION n. Smashing a piece of matzo to
bits while trying to butter it.

MEINSTEIN slang. "My son, the genius."

MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths and
troubles to find a tenth person to complete a
minyan.

MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and
make-up stains found on one's face and collars
after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.

RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Brooklyn to
Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the
same condo as you.

ROSH HASHANANA n. A rock 'n roll band from
Brooklyn.


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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Part IV

SANTASHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children
get for when they celebrate Hannukah while the rest
of western humanity celebrates Christmas.

SCHLERM n. The wrinkled end of a Hebrew National
salami.

SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became
pregnant after one had a vasectomy.

SHIKSABOB n. A special meal that Muffy O'Brien
prepares for Morris Greenblatt.

SHOFARSOGUT n. The relief you feel when after
many attempts the shofar is finally blown at the
end of Yom Kippur.

"The PRINCESS" n. "Daddy will buy it for me"
principle.

TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines
when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar
or Bat mitzvah.

TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds
out has pork in it after one has eaten it.

YENTILITY n. A deceptively sweet manner used to
extract information. Key phrases include, "trust me,"
"your secret is safe with me" and "if you can't tell me,
who can you tell?"

YIDENTIFY vb. To be able to determine ethnic
origins of celebrities even though their names might
be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.


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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)