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SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:18 AM
There once was an Indian chief named Running Water.
He had two daughters, Hot and Cold, and a son named......
Luke.


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Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:19 AM
A friend of mine recently returned from a trip to Bombay
where he purchased two diamond necklaces. On his return
flight to the United States, he had to go through customs
where he was asked to list everything that he had purchased
on his trip. So he made a declaration of Indian pendants.

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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:19 AM
I came upon a man slicing goose feathers and stuffing them
into a pillow. "Would you like a cigarette?" I asked. "No thanks,
I'm trying to cut down."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:20 AM
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.

He told me to quit going
to those places.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:20 AM
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid
a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.
Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless
driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton
in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered
the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still
going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:21 AM
Q. Have you seen the new home surgery kit available
via mail order?
A. It's called Suture Self.


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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:21 AM
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little down in the mouth.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:22 AM
Mr. Brown: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Mr. Green: Have you ever seen a doctor?
Mr. Brown: No, only spots.


------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:23 AM
WORK WORRIES

Did you hear about......

The adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
The apple pie company that did not achieve enough turnover?
The baker who was short of dough?
The boat manufacturer that sunk?
The bowling pin manufacturer that were hit by strikes?
The bra manufacturers that went bust?
The cigarette company that went up in smoke?
The corset firm that felt the squeeze?
The tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
The disposable diaper manufacturer that ended up in the toilet?


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:49 AM
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow
one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's
raining" he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me" she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major
argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then,
they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade
Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade
Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course!" he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:50 AM
A woman marries a traveling salesman. He's a nice guy,
but he's never at home. She is very lonely, so she decides
to have him cloned. This way, when the original is gone,
the clone can take his place. The clone turns out to be an
exact copy, except for one thing. He curses all the time.
Finally,she can stand no more, so she pushes him down
an elevator shaft to this death. The District Attorney couldn't
arrest the woman for murder since the clone was not a true
human and finally charged the woman with making .............
an obscene clone fall.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 13, 2001, 03:51 AM
Did you read in the paper about the psychic midget that
escaped from jail? The headline read....
"SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!"


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

Harbidge
Jul 13, 2001, 02:47 PM
This is a very English pun-joke, but who knows, the internationals might get it as well.

Q:Why shouldn't you wear Y-Front's in Russia?
A:Because Chernobyl fall out.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gif

------------------
Containing EVERY clue ever found about this conspiracy, Paul is Dead - The Conclusive Evidence (http://www.paulisdead.net) will change your mind about this bizarre coverup.

This week, 'Beatles 1' is at No. 23 in the UK Album charts.
This week, 'Wingspan' is at No. 55 in the UK Album charts.

Tim
Jul 13, 2001, 03:22 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Harbidge:
This is a very English pun-joke, but who knows, the internationals might get it as well.

Q:Why shouldn't you wear Y-Front's in Russia?
A:Because Chernobyl fall out.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

GROOOOOOOOAN!

------------------
Tim
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**DONOTDELETE**
Jul 13, 2001, 03:37 PM
What'd the Mexican firefighter name his twins?

Jose and Hose B!

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif

Best joke ever!

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beatlebangs1964
Jul 13, 2001, 08:59 PM
The story about the road is all over town.
The story about the tree sounds mighty shady to me.
That tale about Chanticleer and Ferdinand sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
When you said you saw a bull by a soup tureen, I thought it was just another crock of bull.
Just skip the one about the jump rope.


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Then we will remember things we said today. Yeah.
-- Beatles, 1964

BB1964

beatlebangs1964
Jul 13, 2001, 09:04 PM
A man went in for an eye examination. The doctor asked the man when he had his eyes checked.

"They were never checked. They were always blue," said the man.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A jackass who makes you http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cry1.gif



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Then we will remember things we said today. Yeah.
-- Beatles, 1964

BB1964

bearkat77
Jul 14, 2001, 01:04 AM
The latest news from the Metro Police station is that someone stole all of the toilet seats from the bathroom.

The police have nothing to go on.

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

Harbidge
Jul 14, 2001, 03:07 PM
Police are investigating a robbery last night where thieves broke into a pet shop and stole all the collars.

Police say they are following several leads.

------------------
Containing EVERY clue ever found about this conspiracy, Paul is Dead - The Conclusive Evidence (http://www.paulisdead.net) will change your mind about this bizarre coverup.

This week, 'Beatles 1' is at No. 23 in the UK Album charts.
This week, 'Wingspan' is at No. 55 in the UK Album charts.

HeyBeatle
Jul 14, 2001, 05:18 PM
This is rather dumb but it worked at my audition.

Why is Tigger always dirty?

Cause he always hangs around with Pooh.

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" Are you a mod or a rocker?"
" No I'm a mocker."

Harbidge
Jul 15, 2001, 03:06 PM
Why do Dutch flowers grow best in rodent-stew?

Because tulips are always best in Hamster-Jam.


(groan)

------------------
Containing EVERY clue ever found about this conspiracy, Paul is Dead - The Conclusive Evidence (http://www.paulisdead.net) will change your mind about this bizarre coverup.

This week, 'Beatles 1' is at No. 23 in the UK Album charts.
This week, 'Wingspan' is at No. 55 in the UK Album charts.

SleepyHead
Jul 15, 2001, 07:29 PM
A fellow once sat up all night wondering where
the sunshine comes from. Finally, it dawned on him.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

beatlebangs1964
Jul 16, 2001, 12:13 AM
There was this king who lived on a tropical island in a grass, mud and stick castle.

Every year he got a new throne for his birthday. Rather than see the old throne get thrown, he stashed the old throne in his attic.

After a few years of this throne hoarding, the place caved in. The moral of this story is if you live in a grass house, don't stow thrones.

------------------
Then we will remember things we said today. Yeah.
-- Beatles, 1964

BB1964

Harbidge
Jul 16, 2001, 04:20 AM
sorry. Me bad. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/frown.gif

[This Message Has Been Edited By Harbidge On July 17, 2001 06:56 AM]

bearkat77
Jul 16, 2001, 09:15 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Harbidge:
*Yes, I know that thiose dwarf names probably don't exist, but why should that get in the way of my obviously sick humour? http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sick is right.

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Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:22 AM
Paul was a passionate masseur. For years he
pounded, stretched, pulled and relaxed the most
burdened, stressed, bent-out-of-shape bodies.
Then late one day, rather unexpectedly, he was
fired. Apparently his last client complained that
he had rubbed her the wrong way.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:22 AM
A nun walks into a confessional and says,
"Father, I have this terrible habit."

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:23 AM
“Did you hear about the gas explosion at the boarding
house downtown?“
“Sure I did. There were roomers flying everywhere.“

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:23 AM
A vampire joined the police force so he could learn
the correct way to get a stakeout.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:24 AM
Hans and Stein were playing in their yard in Zurich
when one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin
and started choking. Hans ran inside to get help,
yelling "Mom! Dad! Come quick! There's a franc in Stein!"

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:25 AM
The heir to the throne was a bonny baby, small and
round, but he cried a lot. He was known as the Prince
of Wails.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:54 AM
A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette,
even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out
of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands.
But it also lit up her arm, too!
Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked.
She took off running down the street.
A police car was at the intersection where it happened and
he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept
running and screaming. All the officer could think of doing
was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer
ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance.
When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the
officer said, "My only thought was to stop her. After all, she was
waving a fire-arm."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:54 AM
A somewhat inexperienced musician who joined an
orchestra on a cruise ship was having a terrible time
keeping time with the rest of the band.
Finally, the band leader said, "Look, either you learn
to keep time or I'll throw you overboard.. so it's up to you,
sync or swim."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:55 AM
The ram committed suicide
Because he was sad and blue.
He heard a singer sing that song
"There'll Never Be Another Ewe".

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http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:56 AM
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family
were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were
unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for
whom the Tells bowled.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:56 AM
What do you get when you mix Holy Water and Prune Juice?
A Religious Movement

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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 27, 2001, 03:57 AM
OLD FROGS never die, they just croak

OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail away

OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay loaded

OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle
off their metal coils

OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing

OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "DINGHY"

OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise

OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke

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http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

Tim
Jul 27, 2001, 06:46 AM
I will hate myself for this but...

Nobody like the monorial conductor because he had a one track mind.

------------------
Tim
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/churchill.gif
Tim Brent's Yellow Submarine Page (http://www.geocities.com/timbrent.geo)
The Beatles' Record Advertisements (http://members.tripod.co.uk/seltaeb)
The Beatles' Record Covers Yahoo! Club (http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/beatlesrecordcovers)

bearkat77
Jul 28, 2001, 09:58 PM
Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last.

He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because he realized it had become a real night mare.

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

**DONOTDELETE**
Jul 28, 2001, 11:20 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Tim:
I will hate myself for this but...

Nobody like the monorial conductor because he had a one track mind.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif



------------------
"If not for you my sky would fall, rain would gather too
Without your love I'd be nowhere at all, I'd be lost if not for you"

bearkat77
Jul 30, 2001, 09:26 PM
I saw a pirate movie the other day...

It was rated ARRRRRRRRR!

------------------
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SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:16 PM
READ 'EM AND WEEP.......

Some book titles and the author's name says it all......

How to Succeed in School............ by Rita Book.

Make Your Teacher Happy............ by Sid Down.

Special Moments Outside of Class.......... by Rhea Cess.

What I Did Last Summer................. by Faye Cation.

I Slept While Teacher Wrote........... by Blackie Bored.

Getting Ready for Vacation............ by Anita Break.

On The Beach................................... by C. Shore


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SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:19 PM
Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.


------------------
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SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:36 PM
There was a fire one night at a convent and several
retired nuns who lived on the fourth floor were trapped
by the fire. They were praying for the Lord to show them
a way out of the fire when one of the sisters screamed,
"We need to take off our robes, tie them together and
climb down to safety." Later as they were recounting the
event to reporters, they were asked if they were afraid
of the crude rope breaking.
"Oh, no," they said. "You see, old habits are hard to break."


------------------
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Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:36 PM
The government has assembled a Task Force on Amphibian
Declines and Deformities (TADD), to investigate the deaths
of frogs, toads and salamanders. At a recent meeting they took
a survey--their first TADD poll.


------------------
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Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:37 PM
What would you get if you crossed a clock with an octopus?
Either a clock with eight hands or an octopus that was really
ticked off.


------------------
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SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:38 PM
What did the dragon say after fighting Sir Lancelot? Mother
always said there would be knights like this.


------------------
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SleepyHead
Jul 31, 2001, 01:39 PM
The Mona Lisa was brought up in court on charges of murder,
but it turned out that she'd been framed.

------------------
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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:42 AM
Mary went to the antiques store and bought a small,
old-fashioned, kerosene lighting device but unfortunately
found it infested with small albino insects that had
recently vacated their former home on a feline. What
did Mary have?
Mary had a little lamp. Its fleas were white as snow.


------------------
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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:42 AM
The history class was studying the Revolutionary battle
of Saratoga which was probably lost because General
William Howe chose to remain in Philadelphia. The
teacher then asked the class to explain this major
British defeat. "Lack of no Howe," answered a voice
from the back of the classroom.


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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:43 AM
When your toes fall asleep, I suppose
That the blood circulation, it slows.
No, the digits aren't dead,
So I call them, instead,
By a term that is apt: comatose.

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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:43 AM
The Coast Guard received a mayday message: "Help!
We're in the water!"
"Capsize?" the radio operator asked.
After a long silence, the voice answered, "I think six and
seven-eighths, why?"


------------------
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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:44 AM
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide
which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a
great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't
decide whether to marry for batter or verse."


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SleepyHead
Aug 01, 2001, 12:46 AM
WEDDING WOES.....
I have found that people like to play the "what-if" game
with names. Here are just a few you might like....

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him
to marry Herman Munster, she'd become........................
Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him
and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be.......
Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine"),
has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a
marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and
then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.


------------------
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Tim
Aug 04, 2001, 05:48 AM
Did you hear about the grave digger with financial problems?

Seems he was always in the hole.

------------------
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Tim
Aug 04, 2001, 08:22 AM
did you hear aout the funeral parlour that was doing great business?

People were dying to get in.

------------------
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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:11 PM
A dancing dog sought a part in the Broadway' production
of "A Chorus Line." The auditions were held on a freezing
winter day and the streets were so jammed with traffic
that the dog had to get out of his cab, blocks from the
theater and walk the rest of the way.
At the audition, the dog's feet were frozen and caked
with ice, causing the dog to slip and slide. Attempting
a routine that called for two quick leg extensions the
dog repeatedly slipped and fell.
Humiliated, the dog limped toward the stage exit. As
he passed, the director shook his head and said
sadly, . . . "You just can't teach a cold dog two kicks!"


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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:12 PM
A happily married man had only one complaint, his wife
was always nursing sick birds.
One November evening, he came home to find a raven
with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. On the
dining room table there was a feverish eagle pecking at
an aspirin while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a
shivering little wren that she found in the snow.
The furious spouse strode over to where his wife was
toweling down the cold little bird. "I can't take it any more!
We've got to get rid of all of these darn..."
The wife held up her hand to cut him off in mid-curse.
"Please Dear," she said, "Not in front of the chilled wren."


------------------
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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:12 PM
A prophet and a sorceress both lived in a Middle East
country. While the sorceress claimed great powers, she
was never able to demonstrate them. Because of this, the
prophet constantly ridiculed her in public. This caused her
reputation to suffer and she lived in poverty because she
could make no money from her unique talent. Then, one
day, the seer ridiculed her in a particularly vicious way.
Thoroughly incensed, the sorceress hurled a curse at him.
Instantly, he became a large white tern.
Remarked a bystander, "Well, it's about time. That's the
first time she's ever been able to tern a prophet!"


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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:38 PM
THE NAME GAME......

I love the hidden puns in these and also the creativity...

British Doorman.................Isaiah Olchap

History Teacher..................Ira Call

Chief Justice.......................Judge Mental


Parking Attendant.............. Rick O'Shea

Personal Trainer.................Jim Shortz

Army Chaplain.....................Neil Down

A Geneticist.........................Dr. Jean Poole


A Psychologist.....................Les Moody


Tax Consultant.....................Lou Pole


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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:39 PM
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking
for something to eat. He came across two men. One
was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was
typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly decided
that the man reading would make the better meal because
even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and
writers cramp.


------------------
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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:39 PM
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong
in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new
upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What
have you been eating?"
"I have become addicted to my wife's Hollandaise sauce.
I eat it on everything," the man replied.
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice,
which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate.
I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?" asks the patient.
To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows
that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"


------------------
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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:40 PM
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding
in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up
to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse
pulls up on the right.
The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his
horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the
other side and jumps onto the other horse.
Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?"
He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."


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SleepyHead
Oct 01, 2001, 03:40 PM
This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race
in which she was entered. But as she got older she became
very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her
in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced
during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted
the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail.
He finally had to give up because he realized it had become
a real night mare.


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bearkat77
Oct 01, 2001, 09:45 PM
Shin:
A very sensitive device for finding furniture in the dark.

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bearkat77
Oct 01, 2001, 09:46 PM
If a parsley farmer is sued, could they garnish his wages?

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bearkat77
Oct 01, 2001, 09:50 PM
A truck carrying copies of Roget's Thesaurus overturned on the highway. The local newspaper reported that onlookers were "stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered, and dumbfounded."

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bearkat77
Oct 01, 2001, 09:51 PM
From an ex-nazi SS interrogator, now a watchmaker, to the clock that won't run and which he is repairing: "Ve haf vays off making you tock!"

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bearkat77
Oct 01, 2001, 09:52 PM
This I have never understood:
We chop down trees but chop up wood;
We draw down wrath, we draw up wills,
We run down foes, we run up bills;
We eat food up, we down a drink,
Which is a little strange, I think.
We turn down offers, turn up noses--
Just one last thought and then this closes:
We should remember, we poor clowns,
That life is full of ups and downs.

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Oct 02, 2001, 11:50 AM
Joke asked by a husband to his wife:

Husband: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wife: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS ... an army... clean ... I'm sorry... what did you ask me?



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Oct 02, 2001, 11:54 AM
Why do they report power outages on TV? http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/thinker.gif


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Oct 02, 2001, 11:55 AM
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."


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Oct 02, 2001, 11:56 AM
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."


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Oct 02, 2001, 11:56 AM
A neutron goes into a store and asks the grocer, "How much for a coke?"

The grocer replies, "For you, no charge."


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SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:03 PM
Have you heard about the five young bulls who were
standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted
to be when they grew up?
The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become
a papal bull.
The second said he wanted to go to New York and
become a bull on Wall Street.
The third wanted to go to the windy city to become
a Chicago Bull.
The fourth said he wanted to go to Beijing and be a
bull in a China shop.
The fifth said he was just going to stay in the pasture
for heifer and heifer and heifer.

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SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:03 PM
One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr.
Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist. The doctor
smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages.
"Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?"
"Swell," replied the Sea saltily.
"Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?"
"Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just
going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--"
"I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear
there's nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend,
you're just fit to be tide."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:04 PM
I witnessed a robbery in a fabric factory and immediately
called the police.
They caught the culprit and held me as a material witness.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:04 PM
I entered a contest for the most prominent veins. I didn't
win but I came varicose.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:05 PM
The army was very tired on April First because they
had just completed a 31 day March.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:05 PM
The phone rang. "What is it?" asked my wife.
"It's a Long Distance from New York," replied the operator.
"I know it is," my wife replied, and hung up the phone.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:06 PM
A city slicker asked a farm boy, "Do you like raisin bread?"
The farm boy answered, "Dunno, never tried to raise any."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:06 PM
Nude bathing is absolutely forbidden on Coney Island.
No ifs, ands or butts.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:07 PM
Raising frogs for profit
Is really a bit of a joke.
How can you make any money
When so many of them croak?

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:07 PM
Doctors operated on the wrong side of a man's brain.
The patient says he has half a mind to sue.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:08 PM
The directions on my tube of face cream say, "Apply
at bedtime if not irritated." I was plenty irritated last
night, so I didn't use it."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:08 PM
Caruso was a singer living in Italy. Then someone heard
his voice and said he would go a long way. And so he
came to America.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:09 PM
The Loch Ness monster eats fish and ships.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:10 PM
My uncle developed a strange vulgar habit. He would only
cuss when he'd eat chicken. The doctor said he has seen
this happen before.....too much chicken can produce a
fowl mouth.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:11 PM
Unborn twins are womb-mates.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:11 PM
If you tell a falsehood just after waking up you are
lying in bed.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:12 PM
If your dad's sisters are construction workers you
might call them carpenter aunts.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:12 PM
Did you hear about the very old lady named Anne Teak?

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:12 PM
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be
charged with stalking.
------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On November 12, 2001 06:13 PM]

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:14 PM
Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:14 PM
Lumber companies have many board meetings.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:15 PM
Did you know that donuts were first fried in Greece?

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:15 PM
Have you heard about the wealthy robin? It made a large
deposit on a Rolls-Royce.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:16 PM
I couldn’t find anyone to sing with, so I bought a duet-yourself kit.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:16 PM
In the Soviet Union, when they want people to hurry up, they
tell them to quit Stalin and start Russian.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:17 PM
We have learned of a man who spent his entire adult life
collecting memorabilia about Wonder Woman, Joan of Arc
and Florence Nightingale.
Apparently, he was a heroine addict.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:18 PM
How do you get down off of a horse? You don’t. You get down off
of a goose.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:18 PM
Save string while you're young - later on you'll have a ball.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:19 PM
This morning as I walked past the laundry room, I noticed
my cat laying in the washing machine. I asked my wife how
long he had been doing this.
She replied,"He goes through cycles."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:19 PM
Liposuction........Letting the fat out of the bag.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:20 PM
As we grow older year by year,
My husband always mourns:
The less and less we feel our oats,
The more we feel our corns.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:21 PM
Welfare for crocodiles is known as Gator-Aide.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 12, 2001, 06:22 PM
Great-uncle Waldo was a circus ringmaster. A truck carrying
the world’s fattest man, the lobster boy and the bearded lady
ran over him.
It was a freak accident.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:34 AM
I'm sure there's no truth to the rumor that a major hotel chain
is considering buying the Leaning Tower of Pisa, remodeling
and redecorating it and opening it as the "Tiltin' Hilton'."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:35 AM
Sign in the Egyptian funeral home....... "Satisfaction guaranteed
or your mummy back!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:35 AM
What did the little sapling say when it finally grew up?
Geometry.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:35 AM
“I would like to tour the Holy Land for my vacation. Could you
please tell me where Solomon's Temple is located?”
“It's located on the side of Solomon's head.”

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:36 AM
Sign on the back of a truck that pumps out septic tanks:
A flush beats a full house.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 12:36 AM
Undertakers are nice. They're the last to let people down.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:04 AM
Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car
in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot
far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car
towed. As the morning wore on, however, my anger cooled,
and I decided to give the driver another chance.
During lunchtime, I went outside and left this note on the
driver's windshield: "Please don't take my parking space. If
you do, and your car disappears, don't say I never towed you!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:05 AM
It was overheard that the USA Olympic Gold medal skier,
Picabo Street, is donating the money she gets from
endorsements to the local hospital in Denver.
In return, they are going to name a wing of the hospital after her.
It will be called: "Picabo, I.C.U."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:05 AM
As a dental hygienist, I had a family come in one day for
cleanings. By the time I was ready for the father, he
informed me I had a lot to live up to.
His six-year-old daughter kept commenting that a "very smart
lady" was cleaning their teeth today. The father said she kept
going on about my intelligence until finally he had to ask what
she was basing her opinion on.
The little girl replied, "I heard people in here call her the
Dental High Genius."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:06 AM
I noticed my son's Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,"
and asked why it was so long. "Because," he explained, "they say it
has to have at least four characters."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:38 AM
The Boston police headquarters was recently
overrun with thousands of bees. Apparently it
was a police sting operation.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:39 AM
Two elephants -- Harry and Faye--
Couldn't kiss with their trunks in the way,
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
'Cause their trunks got sent on to L.A.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:39 AM
I'm moving to Pennsylvania. I always wanted a
Gettysburg address.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:39 AM
Sign In a pet shop window, "Every customer receives
a free legless parakeet. No perches necessary."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 15, 2001, 01:40 AM
When he retired, Sir Lancelot took the bag of gold that
King Arthur gave him and invested it in a women's sleepware
company. Thereafter he was known as the Nightie Knight!

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

Rellevart
Nov 15, 2001, 04:46 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
Sign In a pet shop window, "Every customer receives
a free legless parakeet. No perches necessary."

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why is this making me think of that Monty Python sketch??? http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gif

------------------
If I had some more time to spend, then I guess I'd be with you, my friend....

McCharlenstar
Nov 18, 2001, 10:34 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
I'm moving to Pennsylvania. I always wanted a
Gettysburg address.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very nice!!

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dance.gif

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:18 PM
When the cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.

------------------
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Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:19 PM
Are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah?
He used to live in whales for a while.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:19 PM
There's a lot to be said for Christmas. It's the one time of year
we can honestly say our children are gifted. (Syman Hirsch)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:56 PM
He's got property in Atlantic City. A hotel has two of his bags.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:57 PM
A guy walks into a bar with a salamander sitting on his
shoulder. He says to the bartender, " A double whiskey
for me and," pointing to the salamander, "A half-pint of
Guinness for Tiny here."
"Why do you call him Tiny?" asked the bartender.
The man answered, .... "Because he's my newt."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:57 PM
The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve Your Fellow
Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On November 19, 2001 06:58 PM]

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:58 PM
Cottage cheese diet: eating your curds and weigh.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:59 PM
When the unemployed actor got a job with a demolition
company he finally brought down the house.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 19, 2001, 06:59 PM
Sign at a place where you lose weight: 'Stop, Look, and Lessen'


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

McCharlenstar
Nov 20, 2001, 07:25 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve Your Fellow
Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I would like to "Have YOU" over dinner!



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dance.gif

SleepyHead
Nov 26, 2001, 02:15 PM
Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his
home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had
to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was
owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge.
One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The
peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from
his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted
halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came
racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler,
"I'll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 26, 2001, 02:16 PM
Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his
home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had
to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was
owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge.
One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The
peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from
his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted
halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came
racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler,
"I'll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Nov 26, 2001, 02:16 PM
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who
are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

McCharlenstar
Nov 26, 2001, 07:30 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who
are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very punny indeed!!!



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dance.gif

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:55 AM
The rural doctor came out to the farm to check on the
farmer's wife. Upon arriving, the doctor felt thirsty.
He walked over to the well to bring up some cool water,
but slipped and fell in.
The moral is that a doctor should take care of the sick
and leave the well alone.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:55 AM
I have a friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the
left all the time. I suggested he see a doctor, and
have his legs checked out. For years, he refused,
but last week, he finally went.
The doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4" shorter than
his right. After orthopedic surgery , he was cured, and
both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no
longer leans.
"So," I said, "You didn't believe me when I told you a doctor
could fix your leg."
He just looked at me and said, . . ."I stand corrected."


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:57 AM
Do you suppose that it occurs to the power company
that they are making a double pun when they send
their bill commanding "Please Pay Current Charges."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:57 AM
The attractive young secretary returned to her office after
a weekend at the beach sporting a beautiful tan.
"How did you get that gorgeous all over tan?" someone asked.
"I just did everything under the sun," she declared.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:57 AM
Q. Why do blonde nurses carry red magic markers?
A. In case they need to draw blood.
------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On January 01, 2002 10:58 AM]

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 10:58 AM
An ace British aviator was knighted by Queen Elizabeth.
Afterwards, every time he flew over Buckingham Palace
he would dip his wings in salute. The Queen was asked,
“Who is that?”
She replied, “That’s a fly-by knight!”

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

Sally
Jan 01, 2002, 11:02 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Harbidge:
This is a very English pun-joke, but who knows, the internationals might get it as well.

Q:Why shouldn't you wear Y-Front's in Russia?
A:Because Chernobyl fall out.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Brilliant, love it!!

------------------

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 11:35 AM
William Tell was not only a great patriot and a great
archer, he was also a great cook. One day, after he
had prepared a new dish for his friends, he said,
"I think there is one or more spices missing.
What do you think?"
Their answer was, "Only thyme, Will Tell!"

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 11:36 AM
An intrepid photographer went to a haunted castle
determined to get a picture of a ghost which was
said to appear only once in a hundred years.
Not wanting to frighten off the ghost, the photographer
sat in the dark until midnight when the apparition became
visible. The ghost turned out to be friendly and consented
to pose for one snapshot. The happy photographer popped
a bulb into his camera and took the picture.
After dashing into his studio, the photographer developed
the negative and groaned. It was underexposed and completely
blank.
Moral: The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 11:36 AM
I was in a Disney Store with my girlfriend last month.
I picked up a little stuffed dwarf with "Sleepy" written
on its shirt, started running my hands over it, and said,
"We'd better get going. I'm feeling a little sleepy."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 11:37 AM
When Abraham Lincoln was young he used to work
in a mercury mine. He got to keep all the small bits
that he could carry home in his pockets. He was a
clever young man so he soon found a man who he
could sell it to, to make some spending money......
Thus becoming the first Lincoln Mercury dealer in
the country.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 01:11 PM
Did you hear about the cheap vampire hunter?
He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop
through its heart because steaks were too expensive.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 01, 2002, 01:41 PM
A young man was smitten by a very lovely young lady.
Unfortunately, she did not return the feeling. In total
desperation he went and visited a group of witches
searching for a love potion. They informed him that
they no longer provided such an item because it was
unethical to administer a potion to someone without
her permission.
However, they did have an alternate solution. They sold
him a bottle of small white pellets. He was to bury one in
her yard every night at midnight for a month.
He returned to the witches six weeks later excited and thankful.
He and the young lady were to wed in a month.
The witch told him, . . ."Ah, yes....... "Nothin says lovin' like
something from a coven. And pills buried say it best."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:01 AM
Said mother tern to baby, "Since you have been so
good, would you like a brother?"
Said baby turn to mother,"Oh Yes!! One good tern
deserves another!"

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:02 AM
A prospective groom had bartered with a local villager for
the privilege of marrying the man's daughter. The groom
agreed on a price of 10 head of cattle, and the swap was
set for the next morning at a nearby riverbank. As the bride
and her father arrived at the riverbank, they noticed the groom
and his cattle were on the opposite side of the river.
The father grumbled, "He doesn't even know which side his
bride is bartered on."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:02 AM
I arise early in the morning and go to my front door. I open
the door and exclaim: "You are a day!" Then, having called
it a day, I turn around and go back to bed.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:03 AM
Juvenile: That stage in a child's life when a youngster stops
asking his parents where he came from and tells them where
to go.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:03 AM
After a Southern man moved from Atlanta to a New
Jersey suburb, a fellow passenger on a train asked
how he liked it in the country.
"It was difficult at first," the man replied, "but it's a lot better
since I got myself a paramour."
The passenger was astonished. "A paramour?" he said.
"Does your wife know?"
"Sure," said the Southerner. "She doesn't care how I cut
the grass."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:27 AM
There was a man who found his dog eating one
of his books. He grabbed it and took the words
right out of his mouth.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:28 AM
The two men pushed through the half-open door
and stepped out of the foggy London streets and
into the brightly-lit entryway of the silent house.
There was no indication of a struggle. Everything
was neat and in its proper place. They moved
silently down the hall, scrutinizing the sitting room,
the dining room and the office. Nothing caught the
eye of the great detective.
At last they came to the darkened kitchen. Not a
sound was heard. Light from a gas lamp outside
that window poured into a rectangle in the middle
of the floor. There it was, perfectly placed in the
middle of the yellow box of light: an overturned
box of cornstarch.
"Aha, Watson," said Holmes, "the plot thickens."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:28 AM
A woman rushes into a doctor's office and says,
"Doctor, what should I take when I feel rundown?"
The doctor says, "The license plate."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:29 AM
A peeping Tom is a window pain.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:29 AM
I came down with laryngitis last week. This was the
day our fifth grade class was going on a field trip to
the zoo and I did not want to miss it, so I went to
school in spite of having lost my voice.
The highlight of the visit to the zoo was the time we
spent in the petting zoo. While I was petting a baby
Shetland Pony, my teacher asked,
"How are you feeling today?."
I responded, "I'm feeling a little horse."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:55 AM
The band was just getting under way when a large
insect flew into the room. The highschoolers, eager
to get ready for the first football game, tried to ignore
the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Little
Johnny, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music
book and swatted the insect, and then he stomped on
it to ensure its fate.
"Is it a bee?" Another student asked.
"Nope," Johnny replied. "Bee flat."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:55 AM
A lady comes into a crowded church a bit late and
rushes over to a pew and asks, "Is this seat saved?"
The man sitting there replied, "No, but we're praying for it."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jan 02, 2002, 12:56 AM
In mid November each year, all male turkeys are
gathered aboard a luxury ship for a well earned
sea-going vacation. In nautical circles, this has
become known as the Tom Cruise.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 04, 2002, 03:57 PM
When Horrace Greeley said, "Go west, young man", he had
to eat his words. Many people tried to travel to the western
states by rail road. The seats on the rail cars were very small
and many of the larger people had to stay home. Thus the saying
was born, "No west for the reary."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 04, 2002, 03:57 PM
There were two undertakers,Tom and Mort, who were also
experts at rigging sailing ships. Although Tom is a fine
ship builder, he's not the rigger Mort is.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 04, 2002, 03:58 PM
Did you hear about the new restaurant chain opening nationwide?
It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee,
and Sugar Ray Leonard. They're going to call it: "Coffee, with
Kareem and Sugar"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 04, 2002, 03:58 PM
What do you call one cow spying on another cow?.......
A steak out

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:37 AM
Everyone in the office is sick. Apparently, it is a staff infection.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:37 AM
If a person has a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye?
Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:37 AM
While Nostradamus was alive, he was in great demand by
the various churches and temples in the area. Since this got
to be a strain running from place to place, the religious groups
got together and hammered out a schedule where they would
each get Nostradamus' services for one or two days a month
on a rotating basis.
It was the world's first prophet-sharing plan.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:38 AM
When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made
his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for
sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly ticket salesman
found him a perch near the American flag.
Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience.
"And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded. "Before
the game started, they all stood up and looked at me and sang,
'Jose, can you see?'"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:38 AM
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in
Salt Lake City:
The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell
you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it
wasn't
the flight attendant's fault...it was the asphalt!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:47 AM
Girls who try to be 'talking encyclopedias' should remember
that reference books are never taken out.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:48 AM
I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or
Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One
said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will
be doing is making an ash of yourself!"
The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from
fossilized bones. So if you have yourself buried all you will be
doing is making a fuel of yourself!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:48 AM
I saw a store which had a sign out front which said, "Duck Eggs".
I walked inside and got hit with one in the face.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:48 AM
Have you heard about the homeless snake? He didn't have a pit
to hiss in.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:49 AM
I want my daughter to marry a baker because they are all so well-
bread,
they never fail to rise to the occasion, and they have lots of dough.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 06:49 AM
All but two of the dancers were in costume early for the matinee
performance. At 1:55 the distressed director asked this pair of
women why they were not yet in costume.
The first one said, "it may seem like a silly superstition but I never
put mine on until 1:58."
'What about you, the same thing?" he asked the other dancer.
She replied, "Oh yes, I have a two to two tutu, too!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:06 AM
A girl camel with one hump and a boy camel with two
humps got married and had a baby camel with no humps.
Guess what they called him? ............Humphrey

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:07 AM
My cat got stolen. I think she was taken by a purr snatcher.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:22 AM
Believe it or not the Ford Motor Company considered
developing an atomic car in the early 1950s. It would
have been powered by a nuclear reactor in the rear of
the vehicle....But they dropped the idea fearing that it
would have bombed.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:22 AM
A truck has just crashed scattering it's load of hair wigs all
over the road. The police are combing the area.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:22 AM
Do you know why they are called udders? When you are about
to milk the cow, first you grab one, then you grab the udder one.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 22, 2002, 07:23 AM
A guy was driving down a deserted road when he accidentally
hit a pig. Nobody saw him do it so he kept on driving. A little
ways on a policeman stopped the car. "I'm arresting you for
leaving the scene of an accident".
"How did you know?" the man asked.
"The pig squealed, sir."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:58 PM
I heard Ted Turner is going to release an exercise video
titled "Jane Fonda didn't workout." (Gary Hallock)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:58 PM
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled
fatty puss.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:59 PM
Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. University?
The scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew
up. The scientist are trying to determine what went wrong by
sifting through the Rhesus pieces.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:59 PM
Male deer have buck teeth.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:59 PM
If you eat crackers in bed you'll feel crummy.

------------------
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Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 24, 2002, 05:59 PM
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their
little father and son chats.
Lightsabers were drawn and sparks were flying.
Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face,
"I know what you're getting for your birthday, Luke," he said.
Luke fought himself free and jumped to a higher platform just out
of Vader's reach, "How do you know!?" Luke yelled at him,
"How do you know what I'm getting for my birthday!?"
Darth Vader shot Luke an icy glare, "I felt your presents."

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 02:25 PM
Q. Did you ever see the Catskill Mountains?
A. No, but I've seen what cats do to mice.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 03:43 PM
Q.Why didn't superman know he could fly?
A.Because he didn't know his "Cape Abilities."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 03:44 PM
How does a man on the moon get his hair cut? Eclipse it.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 03:44 PM
The surgeon was unfamiliar with the new leg operation.
It was too hip for him.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 03:44 PM
My friends and I always use fruit instead of chips when
we play poker. Last week I won with two pear.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 25, 2002, 03:45 PM
Farmer Jones had heard that the best milk comes from
contented cows. Therefore, he'd visit them every morning
and tell them jokes. The cows laughed and laughed and
gave excellent milk. But the news got around about the
cows. They became known as the laughing stock of the
community.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 26, 2002, 01:05 AM
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Mar 26, 2002, 01:05 AM
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 23, 2002, 11:36 PM
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow
one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's
raining" he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me" she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major
argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then,
they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade
Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade
Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course!" he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 23, 2002, 11:36 PM
A woman marries a traveling salesman. He's a nice guy,
but he's never at home She is very lonely, so she decides
to have him cloned. This way, when the original is gone,
the clone can take his place. The clone turns out to be an
exact copy, except for one thing. He curses all the time.
Finally,she can stand no more, so she pushes him down
an elevator shaft to this death. The District Attorney couldn't
arrest the woman for murder since the clone was not a true
human and finally charged the woman with making .............
an obscene clone fall.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 23, 2002, 11:36 PM
Did you read in the paper about the psychic midget that
escaped from jail? The headline read....
"SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!"


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 23, 2002, 11:37 PM
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day
and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't
pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me,
and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 26, 2002, 06:21 AM
Did you hear they put the wrong name on my uncle's headstone?
It was a grave mistake.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 26, 2002, 06:22 AM
In theory, housebreaking your puppy may seem like a fine
idea, but it doesn't look good on paper.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 26, 2002, 06:23 AM
Get off the cook stove granddad, you're too old to ride the range.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 08:54 AM
This guy goes to a costume party with a girl on his back...
"What the heck are you?" asks the host.
"I'm a snail," says the guy.
"But... you have a girl on your back!" replies the host.
"Yeah," he says, "that's Michelle!"


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 08:55 AM
I was reading the paper the other day and saw this article....
"Expectant mother hasn't had her trash picked up for 3
straight weeks"...

The headline read.... "Pregnant woman
has huge litter."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 08:55 AM
A bachelor is a cagey guy.
He has a load of fun.
He likes to check out all the chicks,
And never MRS. one.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 08:56 AM
Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. University?
The scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew up.
The scientist are trying to determine what went wrong by sifting
through the Rhesus' pieces.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 08:56 AM
The minister once blessed his cows,
It seems that this was wise,
For when he milked them in the morn
The milk was pastorized.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:40 AM
Southern girls are quick on the drawl.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:41 AM
Many a woman who thinks she has purchased a dress for
a ridiculous price has actually bought it for an absurd figure.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:41 AM
Weather forecasters have to have lots of degrees.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:41 AM
The fireplaces of oriental doctors have an Asian flue.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:41 AM
Some girls string a guy along, only to see if he's fit to be tied.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:42 AM
A farmer wanting to kill a chicken has to move faster than a
speeding pullet.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:42 AM
Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jun 29, 2002, 09:42 AM
Open only from 7 P. M. until midnight, the U.S. Treasury facility at
Burbank, California is known as . . . the world's largest after-dinner
mint.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 02:04 AM
A dancing dog sought a part in the Broadway' production
of "A Chorus Line." The auditions were held on a freezing
winter day and the streets were so jammed with traffic
that the dog had to get out of his cab, blocks from the
theater and walk the rest of the way.
At the audition, the dog's feet were frozen and caked
with ice, causing the dog to slip and slide. Attempting
a routine that called for two quick leg extensions the
dog repeatedly slipped and fell.
Humiliated, the dog limped toward the stage exit. As
he passed, the director shook his head and said
sadly, . . . "You just can't teach a cold dog two kicks!"



------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 02:04 AM
A happily married man had only one complaint, his wife
was always nursing sick birds.
One November evening, he came home to find a raven
with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. On the
dining room table there was a feverish eagle pecking at
an aspirin while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a
shivering little wren that she found in the snow.
The furious spouse strode over to where his wife was
toweling down the cold little bird. "I can't take it any more!
We've got to get rid of all of these darn..."
The wife held up her hand to cut him off in mid-curse.
"Please Dear," she said, "Not in front of the chilled wren."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 02:04 AM
A prophet and a sorceress both lived in a Middle East
country. While the sorceress claimed great powers, she
was never able to demonstrate them. Because of this, the
prophet constantly ridiculed her in public. This caused her
reputation to suffer and she lived in poverty because she
could make no money from her unique talent. Then, one
day, the seer ridiculed her in a particularly vicious way.
Thoroughly incensed, the sorceress hurled a curse at him.
Instantly, he became a large white tern.
Remarked a bystander, "Well, it's about time. That's the
first time she's ever been able to tern a prophet!"


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:28 AM
So, when naming groups of items [called collective nouns], you've heard of a pride of lions, an exaltation of larks, a conspiracy of ravens and a charm of finches. ... ... How about:
a hassle of errands,
a magnum of hit-men,
a quarrel of lawyers,
a shortage of dwarves,
a sulk of teenagers,
a plunder of goons.
an encroachment of fence-builders.
a fascination of on-lookers/listeners.
an embellishment of fishermen.
a treachery of spies.
a thrombosis of heart specialists.
a vagary of impediments.
a minuscule of sub-atomic particles.
a conflagration of arsonists/pyromaniacs.
an assassination of gangsters.
a mixture of pharmacists.
an incantation of witches/wizards/warlocks.
a density of meatheads.
an obfuscation of philosophers/politicians/economists.
a clutch of mechanics.
a phile of lovers.
a spider of webmasters.
a clique of computer mice.
a plurality of collectives.
an enterprise of trekkies.
a 404 of lost web pages.
a ___ of nihilists.
a brace of orthodontists.
a somephony of music critics.
a remora of lawyers. -- (look up 'remora' - it's worth it)

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:29 AM
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:30 AM
When you consider the contribution of plumbing to human life, all the other sciences fade into insignificance. -James Gorman

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:32 AM
From an ex-nazi SS interrogator, now a watchmaker, to the clock that won't run and which he is repairing: "Ve haf vays off making you tock!"

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:35 AM
A truck carrying copies of Roget's Thesaurus overturned on the highway. The local newspaper reported that onlookers were "stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered, and dumbfounded."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Jul 30, 2002, 03:35 AM
Pat Williams, general manager of the Orlando Magic, on his team's woeful record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 09:39 AM
The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at the drive in window of McDonalds.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 09:40 AM
Little Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a sentence
using the words, "bitter end" in it.
Little Johnny thought for a moment and replied, "Our dog chased
our cat and he bitter end."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 09:40 AM
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an
escalator. (Henny Youngman)


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 09:42 AM
This morning as I walked past the laundry room, I noticed my
cat laying in the washing machine. I asked my wife how long he had been doing this, she replied, "He goes through cycles."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 09:42 AM
A woman walks down a street, a man rides by on a horse, another man
rides by on a bicycle, another man walks past. Which one knew the
woman?

The horse manure.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:09 AM
Two cannon balls got married and had BB's!


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:10 AM
What did one chicken say to another when it found a citrus
fruit in its nest?
Look at the orange Mama laid.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:10 AM
A murderer had heartburn because of something the assassinate.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:11 AM
Two thousand pounds of human hair fell off a passing truck on
the Pennsylvania Turnpike, and blocked the roadway today.
State Police are still combing the area.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:12 AM
Join the I.R.S. -- Be Audit You Can Be


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

SleepyHead
Sep 16, 2002, 10:14 AM
Those in Minnesota may not know this but Ole was shot. He
was up with his 4-wheeler cutting some trees by the Canadian
border. Some rangers ,looking for terrorists, spotted him and,
using the loudspeaker, shouted to him "Who are you and what
are you doing?"
Ole shouted back "OLE...BIN LOGGIN'!"


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

MonaMe577
Sep 22, 2002, 10:16 PM
Did you hear the one about the cross-eyed schoolteacher?

She couldn't keep her pupils straight.

------------------
"They're just a passing phase, symptoms of the uncertainty of the times and the confusion about us. I hope, when they get older, they'll get a haircut." -- Billy Graham

MonaMe577
Sep 22, 2002, 10:20 PM
Two twins are given up for adoption at birth. The first goes to a Mexican family and they name him Juan. The second goes to an Arabic family and they name him Amahl. 20 years go by, and the twins' birth mother gets a lovely letter and a photograph from Juan. Very excited, she shows them to her husband. "I wonder what Amahl looks like now," she asks him.

"Don't worry about it; they're twins," her husband says. "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl."

Invisible trombone says: WAH-WAH!!

------------------
"They're just a passing phase, symptoms of the uncertainty of the times and the confusion about us. I hope, when they get older, they'll get a haircut." -- Billy Graham

MonaMe577
Sep 22, 2002, 10:22 PM
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here."

The mushroom asks, "Why? I'm a fungi!!"

------------------
"They're just a passing phase, symptoms of the uncertainty of the times and the confusion about us. I hope, when they get older, they'll get a haircut." -- Billy Graham

MonaMe577
Sep 22, 2002, 10:27 PM
A young man goes to a fancy restaurant to meet his new girlfriend and her parents for dinner. As he heads for the door, he's stopped by the doorman. "I'm sorry, sir, but we have a dress code. I can't let you in here unless you're wearing a tie." The man tries to argue with the doorman to no avail. In frustration, he heads back to his car. The only thing he can find that looks even remotely like a tie is a pair of jumper-cables, so he throws them around his neck, fashions a makeshift knot, and just barely manages to make the cables look like a necktie.

Satisfied, the young man heads back to the door. The doorman stares at him for a few moments, and says finally, "Okay, I guess I can let you in. Just don't try to start anything."

------------------
"They're just a passing phase, symptoms of the uncertainty of the times and the confusion about us. I hope, when they get older, they'll get a haircut." -- Billy Graham

MonaMe577
Sep 22, 2002, 10:30 PM
A man is sitting alone at a bar when he hears a small voice say to him, "Hey, I really like your tie." Surprised, he looks up: strangely, the bar is empty and that the bartender is way down on the other side of the room. Again, he hears the little voice: "Your hair looks so nice today." Again, he looks around, but sees no one. Finally, he looks down and discovers the little voice is coming from the bowl of peanuts in front of him. "That's a really nice shirt," the peanuts say.

Confused, the man looks up at the bartender. "Hey Bartender," he calls out. "What's with these nuts?"

"Oh," says the bartender, "they're complimentary."

------------------
"They're just a passing phase, symptoms of the uncertainty of the times and the confusion about us. I hope, when they get older, they'll get a haircut." -- Billy Graham