Weird But True

[SleepyHead]

Helen Gooding let her pet cockatiel fly free around her house in Locking, England, while she was cleaning. At one point, Gooding took the brush off the end of her vacuum cleaner's hose to suck some dirt out of a tight spot when "Beaky" took a peck at it -- and was immediately sucked in. Gooding called the fire brigade to rescue the bird, which was stuck head first part-way down the pipe.

"We came up with a good rescue," a fire spokesman said. A firefighter "blew down the other end of the pipe and out he popped."

This wasn't Beaky's first run-in with technology. "He got knocked off the desk after attacking the base of the computer," Gooding says. "He pecked the CD-ROM button and the drawer shot out and knocked him off." (PA)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A man in Miskolc, Hungary, accidentally shot himself in the head while trying to fix a high-powered air gun, but he didn't go see a doctor since he was convinced the bullet would fall out on its own.

After two weeks of severe headaches he finally gave up and went to the hospital. Neurosurgeon Gyula Papp said the man is in "satisfactory" condition. "He was extremely lucky that the bullet hit no vital
parts." (AFP)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

L.C. ("Library Cat") has been a fixture at the
Escondido (Calif.) Public Library for seven years. The kitty is
"beloved by all who visit," the library says. Not so, says Richard R.
Espinosa, 47, of nearby San Marcos. When he came in with his 50-pound
assistance dog, Kimba, the cat "suddenly and without provocation
began
hitting and clawing Kimba," he said in a legal claim against the
city.
The cat was not injured, but Espinosa's $1.5 million claim, which he
wrote himself because four lawyers refused to take his case, says the
altercation caused him "significant lasting, extreme and severe
mental
anguish and emotional distress including, but not limited to, terror,
humiliation, shame, embarrassment, mortification, chagrin,
depression,
panic, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep [and] loss of
full enjoyment of life." (San Diego Union-Tribune)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A student at Evergreen High School in Vancouver, Wash., has
been arrested because she isn't really the homeless teenager she
claimed to be. Brianna Stewart is actually Treva Throneberry, 31. In
addition to taking a full load of classes, "Brianna" played on the
tennis team and attended the senior prom. Now that Throneberry's true
age and identity are known, she faces charges of theft and perjury.
Over her three-year high school career, she pulled down a 2.83
grade-point average -- which would have been a bit better if it
wasn't
for the "D" she got in drama class. (AP) v

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Tallahassee, Fla., Police Officer Greg Tucker heard
a
loud stereo in a car parked at a convenience store and pulled in to
tell its driver, Alonzo Lamar McMillian, 20, to turn it down. Then he
noticed the car was parked in a handicapped-only space. Tucker told
the
driver to move, but the man said he'd only be there a minute. About
then, a license check came back: the car was stolen. "He's not
exactly
a criminal mastermind," Tucker said after he arrested McMillian on
charges of grand theft auto, battery on a law enforcement officer,
drug
possession -- and parking in a handicapped space. (Tallahassee
Democrat)
------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On May 29, 2001 04:43 AM]

[SleepyHead]

Douglas Ryan Oeters stopped by the Humane Society in
Boulder, Colo., to adopt a cat. Oeters allegedly tried to pay the $75
adoption fee with $20 bills photocopied onto crumpled yellowing
paper.
"He pulled out the money, and we both started laughing," says shelter
worker Briana Rooney. "We were like 'yeah right'." Since the copies
didn't work, Oeters pulled out a real $100 bill to pay the fees, and
Rooney stalled him while another employee called police. Oeters told
officers that he must have received the bills from the bank when he
cashed a check. A search of his wallet found 42 copies of $20 bills
--
and the two real bills they were copied from. (The Daily Camera)


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

You guys gotta see (http://www.thisistrue.com/mrdotcom.html) this one!

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[mindgames]

Methinks somebody stays in front of the computer too much. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/bigeyes1.gif

Ah, this is Nowhere Man's ultimate fate!

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number thirty-six on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number nine.

Mustnotgothere mustnotgothere mustnotgothere. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/bigeyes2.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
You guys gotta see (http://www.thisistrue.com/mrdotcom.html) this one!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG, Sleepyhead, that story was hilarious!! Is that REALLY true, though??



------------------
4 weeks, 4 days

[SleepyHead]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Mustnotgothere mustnotgothere mustnotgothere. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/bigeyes2.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif You'd better not!!! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/burnt.gif



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By 4thGenFan:
OMG, Sleepyhead, that story was hilarious!! Is that REALLY true, though??

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Looked like a real passport to me... I just post 'em, they're hilarious! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/grin.gif



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

***WARNING*** DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS BEFORE CONSUMING A MEAL, OR DRINK, OR ANYTHING. A GLASS OF WATER MAY BE OK.

The following joke contains: http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf2.gif


This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999.

Once inside the bank, shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next day's newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf1.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf3.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gif

[MaccaGirl]

That one was just plain wrong Sleepy!

------------------
It Takes one to know one ~Linda McCartney
Listen to her daddy's song, making love is wrong~ Back Seat of My Car
Venus and Mars are alright tonight!!!

[mindgames]

That wasn't http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif that was Nowhere Man.

And it was also very, very disgusting.

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number thirty-six on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number nine.

[SleepyHead]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By MaccaGirl:
That one was just plain wrong Sleepy!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Stupid crooks! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf2.gif But I assure you, I didn't post it... http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/thinker.gif



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

Thrash happy judges in Saudi Arabia have sentenced a Filipino man to 75 lashes for possession of alcohol - after he was caught with two chocolate liqueurs at an airport. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/afraid4.gif

Twenty-five female students were publicly flogged outside a Khartoum courthouse last month for enjoying a picnic by the riverside. The Sudanese courts ruled the picnic 'immoral and riotous' because some of the girls were wearing trousers. They were each given 40 lashes. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/spank.gif

And my favourite...

A Charlotte, NC man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire (among other things.) Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without even having made his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued and won. In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and using his testimony against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dork2.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
***WARNING*** DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS BEFORE CONSUMING A MEAL, OR DRINK, OR ANYTHING. A GLASS OF WATER MAY BE OK.

The following joke contains: http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf2.gif


This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999.

Once inside the bank, shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next day's newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf1.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf3.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!........... .ew.



------------------
4 weeks, 2 days

[HeyBeatle]

I loved the first story that was really funny. Gotta love bird comedy.

------------------
" Are you a mod or a rocker?"
" No I'm a mocker."

" Go to the window... Go to the window."

"Oh won't you please, please help me!"-Fred

"I'm not dead yet."

In the Birmingham Sunday Mercury (7th Jan 2001): WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS

Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling okay.

George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers.

He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was still working during the weekend.

His boss Elliot Wachiaski said: "George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything.

"He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself."

A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary.

Ironically, George was proof-reading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.

You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.

The moral of the story:

Don't work too hard.... Nobody notices anyway.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

[This Message Has Been Edited By Nowhere Man On September 22, 2001 07:56 AM]

[SleepyHead]

An unidentified woman in Bismarck, N.D., discovered $6
was
missing from her kitchen counter. She questioned her two young sons
and
the 7-year-old admitted taking the cash. What's a mother to do? She
called the cops. "She wanted him cited for theft, so that is what we
did," said Bismarck police Lt. Nick Sevart. "We believe in early
intervention." (Reuters)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

"New Zealand
Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts" -- AFP headline


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By SleepyHead:
"New Zealand
Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts" -- AFP headline

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

uhh... Luce? Got something to say for yourself? http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

In July 1981, a tortoise was sentenced to death for murder. Tribal leaders in an eastern Kenyan village formally condemned the tortoise because they suspected it of causing the deaths of six people by magic. However, because none of the villagers were prepared to face the tortoise's wrath by carrying out the execution, it was chained to a tree instead. The tortoise was later freed after the government promised an inquiry into the six deaths.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

[bearkat77]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
In the Birmingham Sunday Mercury (7th Jan 2001): WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS

Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling okay.

George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers.

He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was still working during the weekend.

His boss Elliot Wachiaski said: "George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything.

"He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself."

A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary.

Ironically, George was proof-reading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.

You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.

The moral of the story:

Don't work too hard.... Nobody notices anyway.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You'd think someone would have noticed the odor before that. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf2.gif

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cat.gif

Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

[bearkat77]

The Classic Middle Name:

Conan Wayne Hale, 20, a triple-homicide suspect who allegedly confessed to a priest in Portland, Ore., has been fighting for three months now to have the confession ruled inadmissible in court on freedom of religion grounds. And escaped murderer Michael Wayne Thompson was recaptured in July near Farmersburg, Ind. And a few days later, Danny Wayne Owens, 38, was arrested in Birmingham, Ala., for allegedly murdering a neighbor. (Among other prominent middle-name Waynes: serial killers John Wayne Gacy of Illinois and Elmer Wayne Henley of Texas; recently executed Arizona murderer Jimmy Wayne Jeffers; sadistic Louisiana murderer Robert Wayne Sawyer; the Ohio Aryan Nations member caught last year with freeze-dried bubonic plague bacteria, Larry Wayne Harris; the Oklahoma rapist recently sentenced to 21,000 years in prison, Allan Wayne McLaurin; and of course John Wayne Bobbitt.)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cat.gif

Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/scream1.gif

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

[bearkat77]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/scream1.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now you've made me hungry. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cat.gif

Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
Now you've made me hungry. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hope not. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gif



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.? After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police, who arrested the man a few minutes later as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

[Harbidge]

There’s a wooded area in the middle of Great Britain that has claimed several lives through supernatural causes. This is the most notable...

A man who we’ll call John was a complete skeptic. He didn’t believe anything of the supernatural, and said that everything strange had a rational, plausible answer. He had heard of the haunted forest, and scoffed at the very idea.

One day, one of his friends dared John to spend a night in the forest. John, being the skeptic that he was, immediately accepted, but, on the advice from various people, took a pistol and a two-way radio along with him for protection.

John set a date for 31st October. Halloween.

On that night, he said goodbye to his friends, and drove off to the middle of the forest. The only people who knew he was doing this, were the police, who had a map of the exact loaction of where he was staying for safety reasons, and his friends, who would be able to get up there in 15 minutes if anything went wrong. When he got to the location decided upon he tested the radio. It was working perfectly, and so he put his tent up, and made a fire.

At about 11pm, John radioed his friends to tell them that he was about to go to sleep, and that he would radio in if anything strange would happen.

10 minutes later, John radioed back. He was hyperventalating, and sounded very, very frightened. “Oh my God, it’s right outside, I can hear it...” John whispered quickly and frantically. Then the sound of the pistol being fired was heard. John screamed as the sound of the tent zip opening was heard.

His friends immediately jumped into their car and drove up to where John was camping.

When they arrived, they found that the fire was still burning strong, and some beans were on the boil. They went up to the tent and opened it slowly. Inside was John.

He was dead.

His face was a horrifying sight. His lips had curled up above his teeth, and his eyes were bulging.

He had literally died of terror.


------------------
Containing EVERY clue ever found about this conspiracy, Paul is Dead - The Conclusive Evidence (http://www.paulisdead.net) will change your mind about this bizarre coverup.

This week, 'Beatles 1' is at No. 42 in the UK Album charts.
This week, 'Wingspan' is at No. 13 in the UK Album charts.

[Harbidge]

There’s a wooded area in the middle of Great Britain that has claimed several lives through supernatural causes. This is the most notable...

A man who we’ll call John was a complete skeptic. He didn’t believe anything of the supernatural, and said that everything strange had a rational, plausible answer. He had heard of the haunted forest, and scoffed at the very idea.

One day, one of his friends dared John to spend a night in the forest. John, being the skeptic that he was, immediately accepted, but, on the advice from various people, took a pistol and a two-way radio along with him for protection.

John set a date for 31st October. Halloween.

On that night, he said goodbye to his friends, and drove off to the middle of the forest. The only people who knew he was doing this, were the police, who had a map of the exact loaction of where he was staying for safety reasons, and his friends, who would be able to get up there in 15 minutes if anything went wrong. When he got to the location decided upon he tested the radio. It was working perfectly, and so he put his tent up, and made a fire.

At about 11pm, John radioed his friends to tell them that he was about to go to sleep, and that he would radio in if anything strange would happen.

10 minutes later, John radioed back. He was hyperventalating, and sounded very, very frightened. “Oh my God, it’s right outside, I can hear it...” John whispered quickly and frantically. Then the sound of the pistol being fired was heard. John screamed as the sound of the tent zip opening was heard.

His friends immediately jumped into their car and drove up to where John was camping.

When they arrived, they found that the fire was still burning strong, and some beans were on the boil. They went up to the tent and opened it slowly. Inside was John.

He was dead.

His face was a horrifying sight. His lips had curled up above his teeth, and his eyes were bulging.

He had literally died of terror.


------------------
Containing EVERY clue ever found about this conspiracy, Paul is Dead - The Conclusive Evidence (http://www.paulisdead.net) will change your mind about this bizarre coverup.

This week, 'Beatles 1' is at No. 42 in the UK Album charts.
This week, 'Wingspan' is at No. 13 in the UK Album charts.

[mindgames]

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/afraid1.gif Note to self- When in England, stay away from all wooded areas large enough to conceal a squirrel.

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number fifty-one on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number twelve.

[This Message Has Been Edited By mindgames On June 03, 2001 01:59 PM]

Subject: Great Marketing Screw Ups

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhoea".

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of anotorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

11. The Chevrolet Nova was supposedly marketed in Mexico only to find out that "No-Va" means "No Go" in Spanish and, therefore, it was a flop.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/king2.gif

[SleepyHead]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
You'd think someone would have noticed the odor before that. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf2.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not if they had your allergy problems...



------------------
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Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nowhere Man:
11. The Chevrolet Nova was supposedly marketed in Mexico only to find out that "No-Va" means "No Go" in Spanish and, therefore, it was a flop.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Funny, I think it means the same thing in English....

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

During the filming of the weekly TV series "Homicide",
production was interrupted when two criminals, fleeing
the scene of their crime surrendered to a bunch of actors
dressed up like police. The bad guys thought that they
had been "headed off" by the real cops


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A man robs a motel late at night and then proceeds to
run into the nearby woods. The clerk called the police
and upon arriving they started to search the woods.
Since it was pitch black that night they figured they
would never catch the perpetrator until one of them
noticed flashing red lights. The robber was wearing
a pair of sneakers that have the flashing lights when
he steps.(Gives a new meaning to "You Light Up My Life.")


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Some guy broke into a woman's home and glued his foot
to her face. They then had to drive to the hospital to have
it surgically removed. He was of course arrested after the
surgery was over.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A criminal broke into a guy's house and shoved the old
man into a closet, unfortunately, he shoved him into the
closet that held the man's gun collection. The old man
grabbed one of his own guns and shot the burglar.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

WELFARE WOES.....

Actual letters written to welfare officers...

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby
was born two years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has
been visited regularly by the clergy. (woooohooo!!)

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell
me why? ( First you take a bird and a bee....)

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to
twins in the enclosed envelope.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded
my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week
before he was born.

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

CLASSY CLASSIFIED.....

Single, white male seeks companionship. I love long walks
in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck. Hunting Camping
Fishing trips.Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
Rub me the right way and I will respond with tender caresses.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work. Kiss me
and I'm yours.
I'm seeking a svelte good looking girl who loves to play.

Call 565-2121 and ask for Daisy. The phone
number is the ASPCA and I'm an eight week old black Labrador.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In New Zealand a burglar who, after ransacking a house
in Addington, and being very careful not to leave any clues,
called the victims a bit later to berate them for having "crap"
belongings, according to police, who traced the incoming
phone number back to the burglar.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Barry Lyn Stoller, 38, of Kent, WA, wrote to the makers of
Ex-Lax, claiming the product didn't work and demanding
reimbursement of the $1.99 he paid. The New Jersey
based Sandoz Corporation immediately issued a refund
but mistook the amount, using Stoller's zip code. After the
error was discovered, King County authorities found Stoller
had deposited the check for $98002, withdrawn the money
eight days later, closed his account and left the area without
a trace.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A woman was charged with speeding by the police. But she
was convinced she hadn't been speeding at all. When she
appeared before the court, she said that she didn't trust the
radar gun the police were using when they caught her. She
then suggested that the radar gun that recorded her speed
be brought to court and tested.
It was.
It was pointed at the judge sitting at the bench and recorded
him as traveling at 122 miles per hour. (I knew judges were fast, but...)

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In New Zealand there is a bird that damages cars even
more than the pigeons dropping "bombs" on parked cars.
The Kea likes to eat the rubber strips around car windows.
The Avis at Christchurch Airport in New Zealand spends
about $30,000 a year repairing Kea damage on their cars.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[bearkat77]

FREAKY STORY

Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere.

Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier. "It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so bizarre I just froze."

As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away.

Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird to squawk.

She has not cooked chicken since.

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[mindgames]

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/shocked.gif Kat, why do you post stuff like that? Now I won't want to cook any chicken anymore.

------------------
This week, the Beatles greatest hits album, "1", is at number forty-three on the USA album charts. "Wingspan: Hits and History" by Paul McCartney is at number twenty-five.

[bearkat77]

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

"Swift Return"

This is a true story.......

My sister and her husband recently went on a
scuba diving trip with a group of friends.

They had nearly finished the days dive and were
preparing to head in for the evening.

One man was left in the water and as he was
coming to the surface, he saw a fish swim by
that had a pair of false teeth in its mouth. The
fish evidently decided it could not eat this strange
substance and dropped the teeth. The man was
able to grab then and went about getting out of
the water.

There was quite a commotion on the deck as one
woman was really upset that she had washed her
mouth out with water, and her teeth fell overboard.

Realizing that he was the hero of the day, he says,
"Is this them?"

Now what are the odds of seeing a fish with dentures
or a rescue of teeth being that swift?



------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In an unusual promotion, Daytona International Airport and Delta Airlines
will award 500 frequent flier miles for every deceased body they ship after
August 1.....And these dead bodies need the them because they are flying
where????.......


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In India, panic over the attacking "Monkey Man" has died down, but a
new villain, "Bear Man" has villagers in fear. Over a dozen people
claim to have been attacked by this hybrid creature. According to
reports by the villagers, the Bear Man becomes visible right before
attacking its victims, only to disappear when caught in a ray of
light....First "Monkey Man" then "Bear Man" what’s next "Dog Man"?
.....Oh no, that’s Lon Cheney as a werewolf.....


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On July 05, 2001 01:55 AM]

[SleepyHead]

A New Jersey court official called out the bomb squad when a motorist
paid a traffic fine with 4,400 pennies. The unidentified Jersey City
man put the coins in a brown cardboard box with a letter and a ticket
and sent it to the Municipal Court clerk in Teaneck out of anger. But
the clerk thought the package was suspicious so they called the bomb
squad and proceeded to evacuate the building. When the bomb squad
finally opened the parcel they found it contained $44 The man was
reportedly angry at being billed for parking in front of a bus stop
..... He was giving them a penny for each thought he had about the cop
that gave him the ticket ........


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A Longmont, Colorado man had a little to much beer to drink. After
finishing off his third six-pack, he still wanted more. He drove back
to the convenience store where he bought his original six-packs. He
used a crowbar to pry the front door in an attempt to break in. However,
to his surprise, he discovered the store was still open. When he took
a glance into the store, he saw other customers staring back at him.
Police were called and the drunken suspect was arrested for attempted
burglary. He was unable to make his escape because he couldn't find
his car keys. They were still in the ignition.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[bearkat77]

More gross than weird, but still true. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/afraid4.gif

Love Mustard

If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son)while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"

------------------
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Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Denver Post-Mary Clark is sitting at a table in the commons area of
the San Juan Living Center, chuckling contentedly as she reaches into
a grease-stained wrapper and reveals the key to living to be 106 french
fries. Her son, Jack, drives 45minutes to visit his 106-year-old mother
and bring her fries at the San Juan Living Center in Montrose. Yes,
french-fried spuds. Hot and salted. And delivered almost daily from
McDonald's by a devoted son. Mary, the picture of health for someone
who will be 107 on July 16, has been enjoying her beloved fries every
day for about two years now, ever since she moved into the San Juan
Living Center. Mary's french-fry habit has become so well-known that
last week she was to be whisked ceremoniously in a funeral-home
limousine to a new McDonald's restaurant, where she will cut the ribbon
for the grand opening and be presented with an unusual gift - free
french fries until she is 150.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Swiss chemist Albert Hoffman was investigating
a new chemical in 1943 when he absorbed some
through his skin and began to hallucinate. He
later analyzed the strange substance
---and discovered LSD.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

IT'S ALL IN THE NAME

...a collection of strange or bizarre place names...


Aces of Diamonds, Florida

Bald Head, Maine

Boring, Maryland

Buddha, Indiana

Dismal,Tennessee

Eek, Alaska

Frankenstein, Missouri

Hot Coffee, Mississippi

It, Mississippi

Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina

King Arthur's Court, Michigan

Lollipop, Texas

Monkey's Elbow, Kentucky

No Name, Colorado

Porkey, Pennsylvania

Quiggleville, Pennsylvania

Rambo Riviera, Arkansas

Roachtown, Illinois

Sandwich, Illinois

Toadsuck, Arkansas

Uncertain, Texas

Yeehaw Junction, Florida

Two Egg, Florida

Uncle Sam, Louisiana

Zap, North Dakota

ZZYZX, California


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On July 13, 2001 03:15 AM]

[SleepyHead]

LOONY LABELS.......

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner..............For best results, start
with clean bathtub before use.

On a box of household nails..........CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow
nails! May cause irritation!

On a can of powdered infant formula................Mix with water
before serving. (poor kid couldn't jabber if you tried spooning
it into their mouth dry!!)

On a can of Woolite carpet cleaner.........Safe for carpets, too.

On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box
never closes," is located just underneath another announcement:
"To close: place tab here."

On a plastic orange juice can..........100% pure all-natural
fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate. (Huh??)

Seen on a container of salt.........Warning: High in sodium


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

COMPUTER CRAZIES......

If you think YOU are a computer "dummy", read some
of THESE shorties submitted by actual tech support
people......

A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled
floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer
asked the tech to hold on and was heard putting the phone
down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door
to his room.
A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer
had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also
tried turning the computer screen to face the printer---
but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

An exasperated caller to Dell couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened
when she pushed the power button. Her response,
"I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be..............
the computer's mouse.

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running
it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No my
desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window
and his printer is working fine."


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
I wanna be a pig, waaahhh!!!

The Katydid hears through holes in it's hind legs.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/cat.gif, you never told me you were a goldfish!!

It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up.The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

A group of kangaroos is called a mob.

A group of whales is called a pod.

A group of ravens is called a murder.

A group of officers is called a mess.

A group of larks is called an exaltation.

A group of owls is called a parliament.

A group of frogs is called an army.

Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."

Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.

Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Ananova - A Roy Orbison fanatic has been told to leave home by his
long-suffering wife. Dave Wolf, 39, has been kicked out by his wife
Paula who is sick of him wearing shades and a black wig in the house.
Dave constantly croons Orbison's hits. The trouble began four years
ago when Dave, an abbatoir worker, was told by friends he sounded like
Orbison. He quit his job, bought a costume and started gigging in pubs
and clubs as an Orbison tribute act. Nursing assistant Paula, married
to him for seven years, said: "He's been Roy Orbison ever since. It
can't go on. "Dave's voice is identical to Orbison's. At first I saw
the funny side - and I do like some of the songs. But it all got too
much." She has given Dave an ultimatum - he can only return to the
family home in Poppleton, York, if he gives up his act.....Wonder
if he’s cry ie ie ie ing over being kicked out?.....


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A story goes, that a cremation ceremony was staged
by a Japanese priest in Tokyo in February of 1657 to
destroy the bad luck in a kimono successively owned
by 3 teenage girls, each of whom had died before she
could wear it. A violent wind spread the flames, and the
fire destroyed three-quarters of Tokyo, leveling 300
temples, 500 palaces, 9,000 stores, and 61 bridges,
and killing 100,000 people.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In England a night-time burglar woke up the sleeping
residents of the house he was burgling when he flushed
the toilet, starting the dog barking. The burglar ran out the
door, leaving behind the booty.
(Didn't his mom teach him to always go before he left home?)


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

In Vallejo, California a man called the police emergency
number for help when the pickup truck he had just stolen
ran out of gas on the interstate,
(Bet they gave HIM the ride of his life!)


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

An employee at a Bangkok hotel was sent to prison
for robbing guests' safe deposit boxes. His method?
He rubbed his nose on the buttons, making them oily
so he could tell which ones the guests had pushed to
open the safe. He told police he got the idea from
watching an episode of the TV show "MacGyver."


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Los Angeles, California, Hal Corbett was fleeing from the
cops. The chase had already covered several blocks and
it was getting dark when Corbett decided the best way to
give the police the slip would be to switch off his lights.
Perhaps he could lose them in the dark. His safe driving
habits kept his plan from working, however, as every time
he made a turn he signaled with his blinkers.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Two wildlife collectors were caught at a Texas border
crossing when Customs agents found snakes in their
underwear. The men had tied the snakes into several
pantyhose and stuffed them into their groin area to
sneak them across the border from Mexico. Customs
inspectors noticed the bulges were wiggling and ordered
the pair to drop their pants. The inspectors found 14
snakes -- including a boa constrictor -- hidden in the
men's pants, boots and pickup truck.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On July 15, 2001 07:27 PM]

[SleepyHead]

A bowl of lime Jell-O, when hooked up to an EEG machine,
exhibited movement which is virtually identical to the brain
waves of a healthy adult man or woman.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Henry Ford was obsessed with soybeans. He once wore
a suit and tie made from soy-based material, served a
16-course meal made entirely from soybeans, and
ordered many Ford auto parts to be made from
soy-derived plastic.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A convicted bank robber Scot Alan Beane needs
to get better pockets, or something. In one bank
robbery, he dropped a Western Union money-
transfer receipt with his name and address on
it before leaving, and in a subsequent robbery he
left a copy of his resume with his name and former
address on it.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

The defense attorney for Tyrone Jerrols of Houston, Texas,
who was facing charges of murder, filed a motion to prevent
the use of Jerrol's nickname, claiming it would prejudice
the jury. Jerrol's nickname is "Hitman."

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Kirk Moore of Big Spring, Texas contacted the police when
his car was stolen. The good news, for Moore, is that the
police found it. The bad news, for Moore, is that the police
discovered that Moore stole the car in the first place. Police
also reminded him that he was wanted for a parole violation
too when he came down to claim the car.

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A student has sued New York's Pace
University School of Law for $5 million after Prof. Gary Munneke
allegedly used her as a demonstration for a lecture on torts. Denise
DiFede charges that as she went to sit down in her chair, Munneke
pulled it away, causing her to fall and injure her back. The
professor's demonstration was "outrageous, shocking and intolerable,
exceeding all reasonable bounds of decency," the suit says. (Reuters)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Tellers at the Royal Bank of Scotland in Manchester,
England, noticed the man wearing a fur hat and heavy coat -- on the
hottest day of the year -- even before he presented a teller with a
shopping bag and ordered it filled with money. He got 6,000 pounds
(US$8500). "But his actions once he left the bank were bordering on
the
comical," a police inspector said. The man's getaway vehicle was a
bicycle. As he rode off, a dye packet with the cash exploded,
enveloping him in a cloud of red smoke. Surprised, he fell and
dropped
the money, and a security camera taped his efforts to scoop up the
cash. And since he knocked his hat off as he tried to straighten it,
the camera also recorded his face. He jumped back on the bike and
then
crashed into a curb, falling again and dropping more of the money. In
all, he left two-thirds of his loot behind during his getaway.
(Manchester Evening News)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

The last thing Ethem Sahin remembers was sitting in
a
coffee house in Nevsehir, Turkey, playing dominoes with friends. "My
friends told me later what happened. I couldn't believe it," he says.
A
cow had wandered onto the cafe's roof from a hillside and crashed
through the ceiling, landing on Sahin. He suffered cuts and a broken
leg, and woke up in the hospital. The cow was not injured. (AP)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

"Husband's Internet Date Turns Out to
Be His Wife" -- PA headline



------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A 17-year-old robber was arrested outside a
Taco
Bell restaurant in Ft. Worth, Texas, after being shot by police. The
robber was still there when police arrived because he had demanded
both
cash and a chalupa, a kind of soft taco. "He got the money but then
waited there while his food was being prepared," police Lt. Duane
Paul
said. Officers shot the suspect in the arm and leg after he
brandished
a weapon at officers, but it turned out his gun was a toy. "He never
got his chalupa," Paul noted. (Reuters)

Right... At Taco Bell it
takes
a real gun to get good service.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On July 28, 2001 01:34 AM]

[SleepyHead]

The city council in South Sydney, Australia, has had it
with a pub frequented by students from nearby universities. The
popular
Student Prince Hotel is near a church, a nuns' home and a child care
center, and creates an undesirable impact on the neighborhood with
problems of drunkenness, crowding, parking and noise. "If
well-managed,
the proposal is likely to be substantially better for the local
amenity
than the present hotel, and to have less impact on the local student
population," said a report commissioned by the council. And just what
is that proposed new use? The council approved conversion of the pub
into a brothel. (Sydney Morning Herald)

Impact on the student
population will be minimized, but impact by the student population
may be maximized.


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Introducing the "Besk", a
combination
bed and office desk designed for people who work late at the office.
Invented by Antony Dixon of Buckinghamshire, England, the 650 pound
(US$900) item could spell trouble. "Sleeping in the office is OK once
in a while, but there are people who will become trapped by this,"
predicts a British doctor. "While employers may see the Besk as a
good
investment it is only a short term way of getting staff to work
longer
hours." The prototype is built out of aluminum and plywood and can
support two adults. (PA)

------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Dr. Orly Lacham-Kaplan
of
the Institute of Reproduction and Development at Monash University in
Melbourne, Australia, has announced she has developed a technique to
fertilize eggs without using sperm. Observers say the technique is
more
"ethically acceptable" than cloning because it uses genetic material
from two different people. Cloning uses the genetic material of just
one person to create a genetic duplicate. "What we do need to do next
is to transfer those to surrogate mothers to see if we can obtain
babies," Lacham-Kaplan said. However, she stressed to reporters, her
research is still in its "very early, early" stages and expects "more
failures than success" for some time. (AP)

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

"Man on Way to Brothel
Finds Wife Working" -- Reuters headline


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

THIS WEEK, Pennsylvania's Beaver College (which was indeed initially an
all-girls school) officially adopted its new name: Arcadia
University.
The school's president said she was tired of jokes about the old
name,
which "too often elicits ridicule in the form of derogatory remarks
pertaining to the rodent, the TV show 'Leave It to Beaver' and the
vulgar reference to the female anatomy." When announcing the new
name,
the school's spokesman was foolish enough to suggest that "Arcadia
University" was "rude proof" -- that no one could possibly come up
with
a rude twist on the name since they "looked pretty carefully at it"
before approving it.

What silly, silly people.

So last week, I invited readers to come up with a rude twist on the
new
name. There were scores and scores of entries -- most of them really,
really bad. (I mean really: "Fartcadia"?) The INTERESTING thing to me
was that a very significant portion of the RUDEST entries came from
women. The whole story, the best entries, and the WINNING entry by
Don
in Georgia are now up at http://www.thisistrue.com/arcadia.html (be
sure to scroll all the way to the bottom to see the Honorable Mention
by Jerry in Mississippi. It's a riot!)


------------------
http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/sleep2.gif
In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Just in time for the U.S.
Independence Day holiday, Virginia's Colonial Williamsburg Foundation
released a survey that finds 20 percent of American teens don't know
what country the U.S. declared its independence from. Thirteen
percent,
however, answered "England and the U.S." to the question, "Who fought
in the Civil War?" Such lack of grade-school knowledge shows that
"more
than 5 million U.S. teenagers don't understand the true meaning of
Independence Day," lamented Colin Campbell, president of the
foundation. (AP)

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

A survey of U.S.
adults finds that 40 percent think the First Amendment of the U.S.
Constitution goes too far in the rights its guarantees. The First
Amendment, the cornerstone of the American Bill of Rights, guarantees
freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the
right
to peaceably assemble and the right to petition the government for
the
redress of grievances. But 70 percent now say the government should
"hold the media in check," the survey found, even though
"historically,
the press has been viewed as a watchdog," says Ken Paulson, executive
director of the First Amendment Center. (AP)

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Britain's MI5 spy agency has revealed a
1970s plan to use gerbils to catch spies. The rodents were trained to
press a lever when they smelled a surge of adrenalin in human sweat,
presumably because the suspect was nervous, which would alert
officers
to suspicious passers-by. But the plan was abandoned after a test in
an
airport showed the animals couldn't tell the difference between
suspicious people and nervous fliers. (London Telegraph)

That's what
happens when you expect gerbils to rat out moles.

------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Tony Alleyne, 48, of Hinckley, England,
likes "Star Trek". A lot. He spent 7,800 pounds (US$11,000) to
redecorate his one-bedroom apartment to resemble the show's starship,
the Enterprise. The interior centers around a "command console", the
windows have been replaced by portholes, and an "infinity mirror" in
the ceiling "can make you feel a bit dizzy because it looks as if
you're peering out into space," Alleyne says. His wife would have
nothing of it, however -- she beamed away with another man. (Reuters)

Probably because, like the Enterprise, the place has no bathroom.


------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

"Law Prohibits Swearing Around the Dead" -- AP headline



------------------
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In Memory Of Robby (http://inmemoryofrobby.50megs.com)
Our Lady's Psalter (http://ourladyspsalter.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Beatlemaniac Page (http://bearkat77.www9.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to John Lennon (http://bearkatjl.50megs.com)
Bearkat77's Tribute to Ringo Starr (http://bearkatrs.50megs.com)

[SleepyHead]

Bogota, Colombia, police arrested three young women
for
robbery after a number of men woke up to find their wallets and cars
missing. "They dissolved [drugs] in water and rubbed it into their
breasts," a police spokeswoman said. They would then lure men to lick
their breasts, which drugged them to make them compliant. "After
licking the women's breasts, the men lost all willpower," police say.
(Reuters)

They lost their willpower when??

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[SleepyHead]

It is now illegal in Colorado to wear aluminum
underwear. "This is serious business," insists State Sen. Stephanie
Takis, who sponsored the bill. "We have laws against using crowbars
as
theft devices, but if you were lining your underwear with aluminum
foil, that was not a crime." It is now. Apparently, shoplifters found
such so-called "iron pants" allow them to sneak stolen items past
anti-
theft scanners at store doors. The law also allows store security
officers to detain people who "crackle when they walk," but provides
an
exception for aluminum britches worn for "personal amusement".
(Colorado Springs Gazette)

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[SleepyHead]

Aveline Kushi. Born in Japan,
Kushi came to the U.S. in 1951 and found "there was almost no good
food," she wrote in her autobiography. "We discovered that we
couldn't
depend on the food industry, the government or the medical profession
to change. We would have to make wonderful food available to
everybody
ourselves." She thus opened an organic food store in Massachusetts,
and
later another in Los Angeles, starting a trend that has swept the
country in the years since. "She is the originator of the natural
food
movement in America," said her husband, Michio. "Even the word
'natural
food' -- she chose to use that." She survived for nine years after
being diagnosed with cancer, but died from it July 3 at home in
Massachusetts. She was 78.



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[SleepyHead]

An unidentified 47-year-old woman in Warner Robins, Ga.,
admitted to police that she frequently let her pet poodle lick her
lips
after she drank sweetened iced tea. That may have been a bad idea.
Recently the woman used sweet tea to take a pain pill, which made her
fall asleep. The pain pill worked well: she woke up the next morning
to
find her lower lip had been chewed off, and the dog had blood on its
fur. "We have determined it was the dog that caused the injuries," a
police detective said. Doctors say they will reconstruct her lip
using
skin from the victim's buttocks. (Macon Telegraph)

I ain't gonna kiss her!!

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[SleepyHead]

Students at Oakhill College in Lancashire, England,
who
wrote to President George W. Bush to congratulate him on his
inauguration were thrilled to get a reply. "I hope you will continue
to
learn more about our wonderful country," Bush wrote. "School provides
the right foundation so I urge you to study hard. Then you can be
well-prepared for the future." But the 11-year-old students dissolved
into "gales of laughter" at another line in the letter: "As young
Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become
good citizens." (Reuters)

Even I know more geography than THAT!

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[SleepyHead]

The U.K.'s Department of Trade and Industry says the
average
household is a pretty dangerous place. In a new study of hospital
records from 1999, government researchers found an 85 percent
increase
over the year before from injuries severe enough to require hospital
admission associated with ...tea cosies. Vegetables were indicted in
13,132 injuries, toilet-roll holders 329, false teeth 933, and 16,662
were hospitalized after losing out to a sofa. "Trouser incidents"
climbed to 5,945 injuries, compared to chainsaws at just 1,207. "It
seems odd there are so many more accidents involving trousers than
chainsaws," admits Jane Eason of the Royal Society for the Prevention
of Accidents, "but everyone has trousers and hardly anyone has
chainsaws."

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[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead On July 28, 2001 02:11 AM]

[SleepyHead]

Interest rate reductions by the Federal Reserve have
helped to keep the U.S. economy from sliding too far down hill, but
we're not out of the woods yet. "What is keeping us out of recession
is
the consumer," argues economist David Wyss of Standard & Poor's.
"There
is a risk of a sudden attack of prudence. If people stop living
beyond
their means, this could turn into a recession." (Reuters)

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[SleepyHead]

Police in Skewen, Wales, stopped Peter Graham David, 69, for
a
closer look at his car's license plate. The Ford's plate, reading
"DEUT
818", was home made. Despite David's explanation that he was a lay
preacher and did not recognize earthly laws, police cited him for
driving without registration or insurance. He says the licence plate
refers to Deuteronomy 8:18, which says God is the only source of
power.
(PA)

Wonder where he bought the gas the car runs on??

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[SleepyHead64]

Romania is on "a road direct to prosperity" with a
"Dracula Land" theme park to take advantage of the popularity of the
infamous Transylvanian Count. Getting investors to get the project
off
the ground is just one problem. The next is exactly where the theme
park would be located. Bran Castle, the setting for the original
Dracula novel, is the leader now, even though Vlad Tepes (Dracula's
"real" name) never lived there. "The reality is sometimes not
important," castle director Raul Mihai says. (AFP)

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[This Message Has Been Edited By SleepyHead64 On July 28, 2001 02:49 AM]

[SleepyHead64]

It wasn't until after the yearbooks for Elmwood Junior
High in Rogers, Ark, were distributed that school officials noticed
that in the photo for the school's "Who's Who" student group, one of
the boys had pulled down his zipper and exposed himself. "We don't
have
someone whose job is taking a magnifying glass and going over 2,000
pictures in the yearbook," said assistant superintendent Charles
Russell in defense of officials not noticing the prank before
publication. On the other hand, he added, "If you didn't know what
was
in the picture, you wouldn't have noticed it. It's not an obvious
thing." (AP)

Get that magnifying glass out, heehee!

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[SleepyHead64]

Elementary School fifth-grader was led away from
school
in handcuffs "for his own safety". Why? "All I can tell you is it was
a
threat," says principal David Schmitt. What was so threatening? The
unnamed boy had drawn pictures of "weapons" that "were confiscated by
the teacher," Schmitt said. And how did that endanger other students?
"The children were in no danger at all," he admits. "It involved no
real weapons." Still, the boy will "probably" not be allowed to
return
to his school, Schmitt says. "We just need to get it through kids'
heads that there are certain things you don't say and there are
certain
things you don't draw." (St. Petersburg Times)

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[SleepyHead64]

National Merit Scholar Lindsay
Brown, 18, was arrested for having a weapon on the grounds of Estero
(Fla.) High School -- a felony. The weapon: a table knife, which
school
officials spotted on the floor of her car in the parking lot. She had
moved over the weekend, and she says she didn't even know the knife
had
fallen there until a sheriff's deputy showed it to her. Based on the
school's zero tolerance weapons policy, principal Fred Bode suspended
Brown for five days, meaning she had to miss her graduation
ceremonies.
"They're taking away my memories," Brown said after posting bail to
get
out of jail. State Attorney Joe D'Alessandro refused to press charges
against Brown, but by the time that decision was made the graduation
ceremony was over. "A weapon is a weapon is a weapon," said principal
Bode. "We did everything by the book." (AP)

Maybe it's time schools got some new books.


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[bearkat77]

Going Ape Over Chimp's Phone Calls

LONDON (Reuters) - Staff at a Scottish safari park were shocked to discover the identity of a prankster who bombarded their mobile phones with mysterious calls -- a chimpanzee.

The Blair Drummond Safari Park in central Scotland has been inundated with visitors curious to see "Chippy," who stole a mobile phone and quickly learned to use it.

"He picked my pocket when I was cleaning out the cages and later that day I noticed my mobile phone was missing," park staff member Gary Gilmour told Reuters on Wednesday.

"Some of the wardens started getting mysterious phone calls the next morning...one worker heard the chimp's shrieks and that's when the penny dropped," he said.

Gilmour said 11-year-old Chippy, one of four chimpanzees at the park, dialed into the phone's stored numbers and started making random calls.

"He was a bit depressed when we took the phone away, but everybody comes in wanting to see him...I haven't been able to do my work," said the keeper.

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[SleepyHead]

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the
police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."


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[SleepyHead]

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.


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[SleepyHead]

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
money in
the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up
and grabbed him.

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[SleepyHead]

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give
me
all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I
said!"


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[SleepyHead]

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger
to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket. (hellllooooo!?!)


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[SleepyHead]

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22
ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get in a plane at all, and it was
very
sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was
applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby
marina,
thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough
topside
check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the
correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Now, remember this is true...Under the boat, still strapped securely in
place, was the trailer!

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[SleepyHead]

"The fireball was unbelievable," said a witness to the
crash.
"He could've been fried," said a fire department spokesman, adding
the
impact into the power pole sent sparks flying as wires fell down
around
the vehicle. Electricity in the area was out for two and a half
hours.
But the Leesburg, Fla., crash saved the driver's life. Dean R.
Woodring, 43, was eating a hamburger while driving, and a bite got
stuck in his throat. He couldn't breathe and passed out at the wheel.
Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, his chest slammed into the
steering wheel upon impact -- causing the burger chunk to shoot out
of
his mouth in an unusual self-administered Heimlich Maneuver, rescue
workers said. Woodring received only minor injuries, but was cited by
police for careless driving and driving without wearing a seat belt.
(Orlando Sentinel)

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[SleepyHead]

The Church Times, the 138-year-old official newspaper of the
Church of England, has shocked the journalism profession by printing
"the F-word" in its pages without blocking out any of its letters.
Most
newspapers reporting the story did not spell the word out. The
religious newspaper's article describes the hostility that nuns face,
illustrating its point by telling about a nun who was confronted by a
rude lad who called her a "F---ing nun!" Her clever retort was that
she
could be "one or the other, but I can't be both!" Editor Paul Handley
defended his printing the full word, saying it's "not an uncommon
word
these days, even in church circles." Plus, he said, "the anecdote
depends on that word." (London Telegraph)

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[SleepyHead]

The Church Times, the 138-year-old official newspaper of the
Church of England, has shocked the journalism profession by printing
"the F-word" in its pages without blocking out any of its letters.
Most
newspapers reporting the story did not spell the word out. The
religious newspaper's article describes the hostility that nuns face,
illustrating its point by telling about a nun who was confronted by a
rude lad who called her a "F---ing nun!" Her clever retort was that
she
could be "one or the other, but I can't be both!" Editor Paul Handley
defended his printing the full word, saying it's "not an uncommon
word
these days, even in church circles." Plus, he said, "the anecdote
depends on that word." (London Telegraph)

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[bearkat77]

NOT EXACTLY ROMEO AND JULIET

Cherbourg, France - One of the most bizarre marital cases unfolded when an unhappily wed couple, Alain and Claudine Dubert checked in to a Cherbourg hospital complaining of intestinal pain.

Tests revealed that the hapless couple both had traces of arsenic in their systems.

How did it get there?

Upon questioning, both parties confessed to poisoning the other for months. Both have been charged with attempted murder and will face trial when they are released from the hospital.

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[bearkat77]

An animal researcher at a Lake Tahoe college says her new study proves what many dog owners already believe - that dogs can and do laugh. It's not a hearty haw-haw-haw, but more like a "breathy exhalation," said Patricia Simonet, a psychology professor at Sierra Nevada College in Incline Village. "The only thing I can think of is that this is one of those common knowledge things that all the dog owners have known forever, and science is catching up," she said.

Simonet, along with her big, four-legged pal Goodall, made a brief appearance recently on ABC-TV's "Good Morning America" as the show wrapped up. He sat, he panted - but apparently wasn't in a laughing mood. Still, Simonet said her research shows canines make a sound - inaudible to the human ear but recognizable by a distinct pant that is different than a normal pant.

She conducted the research with students, first taping the noises of dogs at play, analyzing and isolating the "laughter" noises, and then playing them back to other dogs to gauge their reaction. Invariably, the dogs recognized the noise as an invitation to play, she said. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/rolleyes.gif

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When Edmond James Ramos was charged with first-degree burglary in Los Angeles for breaking into an occupied dwelling, his lawyer appealed. He argued that because the only occupant had died of natural causes mere minutes before Ramos broke in, legally the residence was unoccupied. An appeals court agreed and threw out the charge.


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Police in Fort Collins, CO, charged Steven E. Peterson, 32, with robbing the same 7-Eleven twice in one day, telling the clerk after the second holdup that he would be back in a few hours to rob the place a third time. True to his word, he returned and was arrested by detectives still in the store investigating the second robbery.


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Determined to reduce the number of disease-carrying insects, Manila officials offered a bounty of 1.50 pesos (6 cents) for every 10
cockroaches turned in. The Asahi Evening News reported the offer has given rise to a booming industry in the Phillipines: roach farming.

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Authorities investigating the theft of diamonds from South Africa's Alexcor mine said they believed the thieves used carrier pigeons to fly the stolen gems past security checkpoints.

South African police shot down a plot to smuggle diamonds via a carrier pigeon -- killing the bird as it rested while transporting the uncut gems. Residents in Alexander Bay, a diamond-mining region near the Namibian border, noticed the pigeon Wednesday when it landed wearing a band around its chest. Police shot the bird and found six packets of uncut diamonds valued at $11,320.


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A dead woman gained enough votes to advance to a runoff for the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate, leaving political experts puzzled and her party wondering what to do if she wins. Jacquelyn Morrow Lewis Ledgerwood died of a heart attack at age 69 on July 15, too close to the election to have her name taken off the ballot. She received 21 percent of the vote Tuesday in a field of four, finishing second behind an air conditioner contractor who got 46 percent.


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[bearkat77]

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A Swedish bullterrier swallowed 1,000 crowns ($94) but returned the money, almost unspoiled, to its mistress the natural way, the Swedish daily Dagens Nyheter reported on Tuesday.

The six-year old bitch Tassilla gobbled up two 500-crown bills. The first bill emerged the next morning, smelly but undamaged, followed by the second during an evening walk.

"They (the bills) are slightly yellow and I think I'll iron them," mistress Gunilla Gonon-Sabelstrom was quoted as saying.

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[bearkat77]

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by sending extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other.

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

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[This Message Has Been Edited By bearkat77 On August 18, 2001 06:51 PM]

[bearkat77]

The overnight shipment to New York City of a 5-foot alligator resulted in anxious moments for both the gator and humans at United Parcel Service. The 40-pound alligator's snout and feet were bound with duct tape and it had been placed in a cardboard box.

"He was not very happy," UPS spokesman Norman Black said Friday, a day after the company discovered the creature on a truck in Brooklyn.

Neither was the UPS driver, who became suspicious when the box began leaking in his truck. New York City animal control officials took custody of the alligator, which was not hurt.

Atlanta-based UPS has begun investigating who shipped the alligator - and why. Black declined to say where the package originated or how it was labeled.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
The six-year old bitch Tassilla
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/afraid4.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/nono.gif



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[bearkat77]

I was referring to the dog, not the owner. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/tongue1.gif

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Aren't all owners just like their dogs? http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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A woman in the US had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.

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Janet Downes thinks she has found the secret for a happy marriage: she's marrying herself on her fortieth birthday. The Bellevue, Neb., woman says the wedding ceremony celebrates that she is "happy with herself," and plans to exchange vows with herself in the mirror. The ceremony will include a wedding gown, flowers, a traditional cake, and a choir.

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Roger Freeman, an Encino, Calif., dentist and lecturer on infectious diseases, wants to start an epidemic. Well, not really: his new company is pushing a line of neckties with magnified pictures of diseases from microscope slides. "The gonorrhea tie is the best looking tie in the whole lot," Freeman says, allowing that "The syphilis tie is gorgeous. The plague tie is pretty, [but] it's sold out." In addition, patterns showing tuberculosis, herpes, staphylococcus, AIDS, chlamydia, ebola, influenza and several other pathogens are available. Don't want to wear your favorite disease around your neck? Matching underwear is also available.

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Man Drowns in Cat's Water Bowl

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (Reuters) - A New Zealand man has died after slipping on ice and drowning in his cat's water bowl, local media said Thursday.

Peter John Robinson, who was 28, was found by his mother lying face down in the dish in the South Island town of Reefton last month, the New Zealand Herald reported.

Gill Robinson said she believed her son had gone to feed his cat, Piper, and hit his head after slipping on ice. The inch-and-a-half of water in the bowl was enough to cover his mouth and was taken into his lungs.

A coroner found that Robinson, who had had balance problems since being born without one ear, had drowned following a significant head injury, the Herald said.



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[JCB410]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.

They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next day's newspaper headline read:

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf1.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf3.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gif[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Even though this one I found disgusting, I have
to admit I also found it funny and have come to the conclusion that NowhereMan is also
a FunnyMan and has a good sense of humor(!)--
(or is it humour?..) http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gifhttp://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif
--------*-----*----



------------------
//*//--"you may say I'm
a dreamer, but
I'm not the only
one"--

[SleepyHead]

A man choked to death trying to swallow a live fish after an all day
drinking binge. Todd Poller told friends, "Hey, watch this" before
grabbing a five inch perch from a creek. He dropped it headfirst into
his mouth but it lodged in his throat. He began choking and gasping for
air. Friends tried to dislodge the fish by using the Heimlich maneuver
but Mr. Poller, aged 45, was dead by the time an ambulance arrived. An
autopsy found Mr. Poller died from asphyxiation from having a fish
lodged in his throat.


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[SleepyHead]

St. Petersburg Times - Customers at the post office got quite a surprise
recently. Indira Bachoo, an 18-year-old a St. Petersburg Junior College
student, was driving her car when it suddenly popped up on a curb and
veered into the front window. "I smashed on the accelerator instead of
the brake," said. One customer was injured. Bachoo, who received her
learner's permit last June, was scheduled to take her driving test this
week. She was cited for careless driving and will either have to pay an
$80 fine or go to driving school....Let's hope she goes to school.....

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[SleepyHead]

In an attempt to stop the wildfires blazing outside of Jackson,
Wyoming, firefighters are coating homes with a product called "Barricade
Fire Blocking Gel." By a bizarre twist, the gel is also used in disposable
diapers to give them their super-absorbency. Several hundred homes
threatened by the fires have been sprayed with the product.....(I wonder if, when
the homes get fully wet down with this gel, do the homeowners have to
change homes??!?)


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[SleepyHead]

LISBON - Unlike many humans, Preta the dog goes to church every Sunday.
For the last three years, Preta a former stray, has left her home in
the northern Portuguese town of Sobrado at 5 a.m to walk 16 miles to
church. Preta walks alone to a church in a neighboring town to take her
usual place next to the altar in time for 7.30 a.m. mass. Whenever
worshippers stand up or sit down, Preta does the same. Once mass is
over, she usually walks back home. Congregations have grown at the
church as many people come just to see Preta.....

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[SleepyHead]

Police in Leesburg only had to follow their nose to solve this crime.
Officers charge that Norman Wright pushed a boy off his bike and stole
it, along with the boy's $20. Police found Wright a few blocks away,
huddled in the bushes with the bike and several bottles of cheap wine.
Police say Wright had $80 stuffed in his boots, along with the $20 he
took from the boy. Officers didn't buy the story that all the money
was his. According to police, the $80 smelled like stinky feet while
the other $20 didn't.


------------------
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[bearkat77]

A Polish youth caught shoplifting was stripped and dumped naked in the center of the city of Szczecin with "I am a thief" written on his back, local police reported. The summary justice was doled out Monday by unknown men driving a Mercedes with blacked-out windows who were called by staff at the supermarket in the north-western city after the 19-year-old was caught trying to steal a sweatshirt. "The youth refused to cooperate with the police and since we had no official complaint from any supermarket we couldn't take any action against him," local police spokesman Artur Marciniak said. "But depriving someone of their freedom is illegal." Commercial premises in Poland are often forced to seek paid protection from gangsters, either because they lack confidence in the police or for fear of attack.

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[bearkat77]

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

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Postal workers made a gruesome discovery after opening a package which had been sitting at the post office for a week. They became suspicious, when a horrible smell started coming from the package, which had been sitting in the post office, because no one came to claim it. They were shocked to find human arms and legs inside. The package had been mailed from Prague four days earlier.

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DOYLESTOWN, PA -- Samuel G. Feldman, 37, is on trial for allegedly damaging 175 bags of bagels, 227 bags of potato dinner rolls, and 3,087 bags of sliced bread over a three year period. Feldman was arrested in January after he was caught squeezing and poking bread loaves and crushing other bakery goods. He was connected to all the other incidences due to the fact that his fingerprints and handprints were found on all the other destroyed goods. He faces up to four years in prison, if convicted.

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Have you ever wanted your own son, boyfriend, writer, butler? Well, now you can have one, for the small amount of $10,000,000. Yes, that's right. The "TM guy" as he likes to be called, is selling 24 hours of his life, if you can afford it. With his website www.TMguy.com (http://www.TMguy.com) the TM guy is hoping for someone to come along and make his day. What about you?


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[bearkat77]

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

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[bearkat77]

A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/dead1.gif

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[bearkat77]

More stupid than weird, but still true.

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

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[bearkat77]

A New Zealand man has died after slipping on ice and drowning in his cat's water bowl, local media said Thursday. Peter John Robinson, who was 28, was found by his mother lying face down in the dish in the South Island town of Reefton last month, the New Zealand Herald reported. Gill Robinson said she believed her son had gone to feed his cat, Piper, and hit his head after slipping on ice. The inch-and-a-half of water in the bowl was enough to cover his mouth and was taken into his lungs. A coroner found that Robinson, who had had balance problems since being born without one ear, had drowned following a significant head injury, the Herald said.

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Paul Morgan of Biloxi, Miss., has been busy the last few weeks lining up Web site viewers, at $20 each, to watch him slice off both his feet on Oct. 31 with a homemade guillotine. Morgan's feet are nonfunctional because of an automobile accident, and he wants hydraulically operated prostheses to make him more mobile, but this is the only way he knows to raise the $200,000 to buy them. Although traffic on CutOffMyFeet.com is heavy, as of mid-August, Morgan had signed up only 10 viewers. [ABC News, 8-14-01]

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According to police, an unidentified man stole an ax from a Home Depot in Oklahoma City and used it menacingly to rob a clerk and shortly thereafter did the same at two other stores, including a Wal-Mart. On interviewing witnesses, police learned that a Wal-Mart door greeter had seen the man enter carrying the ax, but his only impulse was to make sure that he did his job and placed a sticker on the ax so that when the man later tried to exit the store, he wouldn't be charged for it.

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A Spanish university secretary has won an olive stone spitting contest by propelling a stone more than 32 feet.

The 33-year-old emerged victorious in the third annual stone spitting contest in the village of Rus.

It has been won previously by his uncle, who managed to spit an olive stone 36 feet.

Baltasar Deutor, who works in Jaen, won the first prize of 5,000 pesetas (£19), El Mundo newspaper reports.


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Theme tunes from classic TV police shows will be played at petrol stations across Britain to prevent customers driving off without paying.

Motorists filling up at Tesco will hear theme tunes from shows including Inspector Morse, The Bill, Hill Street Blues and the Sweeney.

Tesco say the tunes will remind customers of the law and make them think twice about not paying. It claims thefts of petrol were reduced by 20 to 30 per cent in a recent trial.

A spokesman for Tesco told the Daily Mail: "We think it triggers something in people which makes them think twice before driving off without paying. It seems to prick people's consciences and makes them think of the police."

The supermarket will introduce the scheme to 300 petrol stations across Britain.



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Two neighbours are rowing because one has taken exception to the other's habit of pegging his socks 'too far apart' on their shared washing line.

Joan Tyler, from Tonbridge, Kent, has been moving Anthony Wolfe's washing around and leaving notes pinned to his clothes about his 'annoying' habit.

The 67-year-old says the problem could be solved if Mr Wolfe learned a few old-fashioned domestic skills but he says he cannot understand her frustration.

She told The Mirror: "It is annoying. I just want him to be a little more considerate about the way he puts his washing out.

"He spaces his laundry too far apart, does not fold his sheets and blankets and uses too many clothes pegs."

Mr Wolfe, 47, said: "Hanging my washing out and the space between my socks is not something I lay awake thinking about.

"It is something so minor yet it is causing all sorts of problems. There are four washing lines and there is no shortage of space."

The housing trust which owns the 12 flats where the pair live has now stepped in to sort out the problem.

Susan Cooper, of Moat Housing, said: "We will be consulting residents on whether they need additional lines and, if so, where they should be sited."



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NEW DELHI, India (Reuters) - Doctors at an Indian hospital are breathing easy after a monkey trapped in its air-conditioning ducts was caught, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported on Saturday.
The monkey, which was trapped for three days, threatened large-scale contamination to the seven operation theaters of the All India Institute of Medical Sciences in New Delhi, before it was captured on Friday.

Hospital staff feared strange noises coming from the air-conditioning ducts were caused by a ghost. Then surgeons saw a small face and pair of eyes peering through a vent during an operation.

"After that all hell broke lose," a surgeon told the daily.

Monkeys run wild in and around New Delhi, sometimes pouncing on unsuspecting pedestrians and entering houses.


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[bearkat77]

'Health Freak' Polar Bear Steals Toothpaste

OSLO (Reuters) - A polar bear and apparent health freak stole toothpaste and vitamin pills after breaking into a tourist camp in the Norwegian Arctic, but bizarrely left food untouched.

"Maybe he felt he had bad breath after eating seal all summer," joked Arne Kristoffersen, owner of Svalbard Wildlife Service, the tour operator whose camp was trampled.

Fourteen tourists and guides from Norway, Sweden and Italy, came to the camp on the Arctic island of Spitsbergen last week to find the bear had knocked over tents, bitten through a tube of toothpaste and sucked out its contents.

Polar bears' teeth are often yellow, unlike their snow-white fur. The bear, probably aged two, had also popped vitamin-C pills. Dried meat hanging from the roof of one large tent and other food within reach were untouched.

Kristoffersen told Reuters Monday that the bear was probably driven simply by curiosity. "When bears can eat seals they avoid other foods," he said. "We put a dead reindeer near some polar bear once and they didn't touch it. But they like trying new things."

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[bearkat77]

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/rolleyes.gif

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[bearkat77]

A £500,000 ($728,000) London apartment is on the market with a macabre selling point -- it comes complete with the dead owner's ashes in a stone urn on the mantlepiece. The unnamed pensioner loved his two-bedroom flat so much that he inserted a clause in his will that made it his final resting place, Britain's Sun tabloid reported on Thursday. "I have to tell people before they go to view the flat. Luckily most just laugh," estate agent James Bailey was quoted as saying. "The man was apparently a bit of a character. He wanted his ashes kept there as a reminder of happy days at home."

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[bearkat77]

A Thai man has died from heart failure during an all-night computer game. The 22-year-old was found dead at his computer terminal in an internet cafe in Chiang Mai. Police say his friends told them he was addicted to the game and played it from Wednesday evening until he was found slumped over the computer's keyboard at noon on Thursday. They confirmed that Thanet Sommoi, a worker at a ceramics factory, died from heart failure. He had been playing Half Life: Counter Strike, which casts players in the role of terrorist or counter-terrorist. Up to 32 people can join in on the internet. Police say investigators believed Thanet developed tension and fatigue after playing the game for hours, and his heart eventually failed.

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This is a bricklayer's actual accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.

Dear Sir;
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning " as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 240 pounds of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground-and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. And I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto me.


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[bearkat77]

An employee of Coors Brewing Co. flipped the wrong switch and sent 77,500 gallons of beer into a creek, killing thousands of fish and prompting health warnings. The beer, which was in fermenting tanks, washed through a wastewater treatment plant before ending up in Clear Creek on Friday, said Coors spokeswoman Aimee St. Clair. The fish likely suffocated from the alcohol - among other things - produced in the tanks. "Somebody made a mistake," she said. "We're trying to track down how it happened so it doesn't happen again." State and federal investigators have not determined whether any fines will be levied against the company.

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Two unnamed 19 year olds recovered from being fed hash cookies in Melbourne Australia – while the baker has been convicted and given a two month suspended sentence. Alexander McLean served the apparently very yummy cookies to the American Mormons who'd accepted his offer to come in for a chat. After they left the two began to feel “most peculiar”, with symptoms including distorted vision and hearing. Suspecting themselves to be victims of a gas leak, they both checked into hospital... where tests were positive for cannabis.


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[bearkat77]

A Hartford auto dealer is playing "Lets Make a Deal" with city school children, offering a new car as an incentive for perfect attendance. Tony March said Monday he will give an automobile to the family of one student who never misses a day of school. "The No. 1 message is if you're in every class, you're bound to learn," said March, whose company, Tony March Automotive, will donate the car, probably a new Saturn worth $14,000 to $15,000. Next June, the families of children in kindergarten through high school who have perfect attendance for the entire year will have their names placed in a lottery for a chance at the car.

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Flesh-Eating Bacteria Passed by a Fart

The mighty Chicago Tribune would not take a definite stand, but Chicago’s Channel 5 News team did: Two women undergoing C-section births at Evanston Hospital on July 31 received the necrotizing fasciitis bacteria from an OR surgeon when he cut the cheese. The Tribune did not draw the ultimate conclusion, reporting simply that the bacteria were present only in a surgeon’s gastrointestinal tract, were not present in a throat culture, and probably entered the patients’ scalpeled opening via the “airborne” route. Channel 5 News said, well, what’s left after all that besides a fart, especially if you’re heavily gowned and gloved and masked? The two women, their babies, and the surgeon have all been treated and are believed to be out of danger.

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[bearkat77]

Indian politicians are considering giving televisions to people in the hope they'll watch the box rather than have sex. Health minister CP Thakur told lawmakers people were having sex because they were starved of other entertainment. He claimed a prolonged powercut in New York had once led to a baby boom.

"Entertainment is an important component of the population policy. We want people to watch television," Mr Thakur said.

Socialist Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav asked if cheap television sets could be made available for poor people. Mr Thakur said the government is considering the option.

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Lost in London Cabs: 62,000 Cellphones and One Girl
LONDON (Reuters) - Lost your mobile phone, handheld computer, daughter? Chances are you left them in the back of a London cab.

An estimated 62,000 mobile phones or nearly three for each taxi in Britain's capital, were left behind in London cabs during the first six months of this year, a recent survey found.

The survey by Taxi Newspapers and British security software company Pointsec Mobile said cabbies also discovered 2,900 laptops and 1,300 handheld computers in their back seats.

But only half of the lost phones were claimed, with many owners betting their operating service would replace the lost phone with a new and better telephonic gadget.

Many mobile phone operating companies would rather give out new handsets than see their clients defect to rival services, which often try to lure customers by offering the latest mobile phones free for switching services.

The survey comes shortly after media reports that a bodyguard for Britain's Prince William lost his personal organizer, allegedly carrying some royal numbers, in a taxi.

A little girl was among a strange list of other items cabbies said they had found, including a goldfish in a water-filled bag, a suitcase full of diamonds and $2,900 in cash.



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[bearkat77]

THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with SCUBA tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. A postmortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'-10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed!

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

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THE GREAT LUNAR LIE - HOW NASA MOONED THE WORLD!

The Story of the Astro-nots...

In the early hours of May 16, 1990, after a week spent watching old video footage of Man on the Moon, a thought was turning into an obsession in the mind of 47-year-old Ralph Rene.

http://www.tupics.com/members/woodpecker2k/moon1.jpg
(Fluttering Flag- Dead Giveaway!)

"How can the flag be fluttering," the American kept asking himself, "when there's no wind on the atmosphere-free Moon?" That moment was the beginning of an incredible space odyssey for the self-taught engineer from New Jersey. He started investigating the Apollo Moon landings, scouring every NASA film, photo and report with growing wonder, until finally reaching this astounding conclusion: America had never put a man on the Moon. The giant leap for mankind was fake!

This is the conspiracy theory to end all conspiracy theories. Rene has compiled all his findings in a startling book titled NASA Mooned America. It is being sold by mail order for US$25 and is a compelling read. The story lifts off in 1961 with Russia firing Yuri Gagarin into space, leaving America trailing in the space race. At an emergency meeting of Congress, President Kennedy proposes the ultimate face-saver, put a Man on the Moon. With an impassioned speech he secured the plan an unbelievable 40 billion dollars. And so, says Rene, the Great Moon Hoax was born. Between 1969 and 1972, seven Apollo ships headed to the Moon. Six claim to have made it, with the ill-fated Apollo 13 - whose oxygen tanks apparently exploded halfway - being the only casualties. But with the exception of the known rocks, which could have been easily mocked up in a lab, the photographs and film footage are the only proof that the Eagle ever landed. Rene believes they're fake.

For starters, he says, the TV footage was hopeless. The world tuned in to watch what looked like two blurred white ghosts gambol on an unearthly surface. Part of the reason for the low quality was that, strangely, NASA provided no direct link up. So networks actually had to film "man's greatest achievement" from a TV screen in Houston - a deliberate ploy, says Rene, so that nobody could properly examine it. By contrast, the still photos were stunning. Yet that's just the problem. The astronauts took thousands of pictures, each one perfectly exposed and sharply focused. Not one was badly composed or even blurred.

As Rene points out, that's not all: The cameras had no white meters or view finders. So the astronauts achieved this feet without being able to see what they were doing. The film stock was unaffected by the intense peaks and powerful cosmic radiation on the Moon, conditions that should have made it useless. They managed to adjust their cameras, change film and swap filters in pressurized clubs. It should have been almost impossible to use their fingers.

http://www.tupics.com/members/woodpecker2k/moon3.jpg
In this picture the tire tracks are suspiciously too deep and clear to have been made on the lunar surface, as it does not have a mixture of mud and moisture.

Award winning British photographer David Percy is convinced the pictures are fake. He says the shadows could only have been created with multiple light sources and, in particular, powerful spotlights. But the only light source on the Moon was the Sun. The American flag and the words "United States" are always brightly lit, even when everything around is in shadow. Not one still picture matches the film footage, yet NASA claims both were shot at the same time. David Percy believes the mistakes were deliberate, left there by "whistle blowers", who were keen for the truth to get out one day. If Percy is right and the pictures are fake, then we have only NASA's word that man ever went to the Moon. And, asks Rene, why would anyone fake pictures of an event that actually happened?

http://www.tupics.com/members/woodpecker2k/moon5.jpg An example of a strange picture: In this picture there are two astronauts reflected in the visor. If three men had gone to the moon and we know for certain that one was left behind in the probe to monitor things. How is it then that there are 4 astronauts here: One in the picture, two in the visor and one in the probe. Also the men in the visor do not have cameras. Who took this picture? Were there five men?

The questions don't stop there. Outer space is awash with deadly radiation that emanates from solar flares firing out from the sun. The earth's Van Allen belt protects standard astronauts orbiting earth in near space. But the Moon is to 240,000 miles distant, way outside this safe band. And, during the Apollo flights, astronomical data shows there were no less than 1,485 such flares. John Mauldin, a physicist who works for NASA, once said shielding at least two meters thick would be needed. Yet the walls of the Lunar Lander, which took astronauts from the spaceship to the moon's surface, were, said NASA, "about the thickness of heavy duty aluminum foil". How could that stop this deadly radiation? Not one Apollo astronaut ever contracted cancer - not even the Apollo 16 crew who were on their way to the Moon when a big flare started. "They should have been fried," says Rene.

Furthermore, every Apollo mission before number 11 (the first to the Moon) was plagued with around 20,000 defects a-piece. Yet, with the exception of Apollo 13, NASA claims there wasn't one major technical problem on any of their Moon missions. "The odds against these are so unlikely that God must have been the co-pilot," says Rene. Several years after NASA claimed its first Moon landing, Buzz Aldrin "the second man on the Moon" - was asked at a banquet what it felt like to step on to the lunar surface. Aldrin staggered to his feet and left the room crying uncontrollably. Case of Liar's Conscience?

Here are some more interesting Space oddities:

Apollo 14 astronaut Allan Shepard played golf on the Moon. In front of a worldwide TV audience, Mission Control teased him about slicing the ball to the right. Yet a slice is caused by uneven air flow over the ball. The Moon has no atmosphere and no air.
A camera panned upwards to catch Apollo 16's Lunar Lander lifting off the Moon. Who did the filming?

One NASA picture from Apollo 11 is looking up at Neil Armstrong about to take his giant step for mankind. The photographer must have been lying on the planet surface. If Armstrong was the first man on the Moon, then who took the shot?

The pressure inside a space suit was greater than inside a football. The astronauts should have been puffed out like the Michelin Man, but were seen freely bending their joints.

The Moon landings took place during the Cold War. Why didn't America make a signal on the move that could be seen from earth? The PR would have been phenomenal and it could have been easily done with magnesium flares.
A NASA public affairs officer, Julian Scheer once delighted 200 guests at a private party with footage of astronauts apparently on a landscape. "The purpose of this film," Scheer told the enthralled group, "is to indicate that you really can fake things on the ground, almost to the point of deception." He then invited his audience to "come to your own decision about whether or not man actually did walk on the Moon". Rene believes that the only real thing about the Apollo missions were the lift offs. The astronauts simply have to be on board, he says, in case the rocket exploded. "It was the easiest way to ensure NASA wasn't left with three astronauts who ought to be dead."

And now NASA is planning another giant step - project Outreach, a 1 trillion dollar manned mission to Mars. "Think what they'll be able to mock up with today's computer graphics," says Rene chillingly. "Special effects were in infancy in the 60s. This time round will have no way of determining the truth."



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[bearkat77]

Compelling evidence, NWM. I wonder what others around the world think. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/thinker.gif

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[bearkat77]

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding on to the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors on to the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife upright the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The husband was treated and released to come home.

Upon arriving at home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance.

The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

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http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/laugh2.gif Poor guy, but that's one of the funniest things I've heard - I probably would have dropped the stretcher too!

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Dung-Flavored Beer Brewed Anew on Scottish Island

LONDON (Reuters) - Even the keenest beer drinker may hesitate before sampling the latest beverage on sale in the Orkney islands off northern Scotland -- a "Stone Age" beer flavored with animal dung.

Historians have recreated the recipe after uncovering what they claim is a 5,000-year-old pub and brewery on the remote archipelago.

Merryn Dineley, a Manchester University historian and chief brewer of the ancient liquor, told the weekly paper The Observer Sunday that the brew was "quite delicious." The ale is brewed in clay pots with traces of baked animal droppings.

Dineley examined stone-lined drains running under houses in the Neolithic village of Skara Brae in the Orkneys and found evidence of a kiln for malting grain and traces of a cereal-based fermented alcohol.

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/beer.gif = http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf1.gif


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[bearkat77]

Remind me not to order any of that brew. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/barf4.gif

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[bearkat77]

Police say friends of a man suspected of attempting to abduct three women only turned him in when the reward increased from $2,000 to $5,000.

They wanted to question Randall Keith Adcock about the incidents in the Winter Haven and Auburndale areas of Florida.

But the anonymous tip-off wasn't made until a Crimestoppers reward was increased.

"I think around the $1,000 mark he probably still had some friends, but at $5,000 I don't think the friendship was affordable, and we had more than one call. We had multiple calls," Polk County Sheriff Lawrence Crow told the Tampa Tribune.

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Two Utah men, seeking to make Hollywood movies safe for their mostly Mormon neighbors, are creating stashes of major-film releases from which they have dubbed out the cussing and the sex. Ray Lines sells the pristine versions at three CleanFlicks video stores near Provo; David Schenk runs a Clean Cut Video club in Kaysville that contains 62 titles for members to check out. "Great movies are great because they have a great story line," said Schenk to an Associated Press reporter in August, "not because they drop the F-bomb" (139 of which, for example, Schenk had to remove from "Good Will Hunting"). Hollywood studios are aware of the Utah men's work but have not commented.

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[bearkat77]

Ever looked at 78 different kinds of poop? You can in Japan, where an animal and human excrement display is being shown at the Tokyo Science Museum. The exhibit -- titled "All the Poop" -- arrived in Tokyo this month from Osaka. Organizers say they wanted children to learn about health and the environment by seeing fossils and dried dung-heaps. Visitors learn that a hyena's droppings are slightly white because they eat bones. Koala poop smells good since they eat eucalyptus leaves.

Every museum exhibit is complete with souvenirs -- and this one doesn't disappoint.

Big sellers include moose-dropping key chains, wrapping paper made of recycled elephant dung, and postcards of animals pooping.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
Koala poop smells good since they eat eucalyptus leaves.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The poop might smell good, but I can assure you the koalas themselves don't. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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Video Addict Teen Kills Parents in Siberia

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A 17-year-old Siberian whose mother and father objected to his video slot machine habit brought his friends around and beat his parents to death with bars, Itar-Tass news agency reported on Wednesday.

"Even our hardened cops were shocked when they learned the reason why the youngsters had taken iron bars in their hands and beaten the parents of one to death," Tass quoted a police spokesman in the Siberian town of Tyumen as saying.

The news agency, quoting police, said the youth continued playing at the local video arcade, "with money he found on his parents," for a week and a half, until his elder brother came home on vacation and found the bodies in the outdoor bathroom.

Police arrested him at the video arcade.

Tass quoted the police as saying the youths had confessed they planned to use the same methods to "persuade" other parents not to interfere in their hobby.

Russian cities are awash with unregulated video gambling dens, where youths play slot machines in darkness for hours on end.



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[bearkat77]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Tass quoted the police as saying the youths had confessed they planned to use the same methods to "persuade" other parents not to interfere in their hobby.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Calling Maxwell! Calling Maxwell! http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Russian cities are awash with unregulated video gambling dens, where youths play slot machines in darkness for hours on end.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

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[bearkat77]

A harbour fuel station in northern Italy is planning to employ topless girls to fill tanks following a request from fishermen. The fishermen in Santa Margherita Ligure harbour say the move could revive flagging tourist traffic in the waters of the resort. Il Secolo XIX newspaper reports that permission from the mayor of the town is needed to go ahead with the project. Mayor Angelo Bottino said: "I have nothing against it, but I am concerned about the car traffic in the street which leads to the harbour. Employing topless girls could distract the drivers."

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Cloudy Weather Has Silver Lining for Motorists

LONDON (Reuters) - Newly installed solar-powered parking meters have fallen victim to Britain's notoriously gloomy weather, allowing hundreds of motorists to escape paying for tickets, the Daily Telegraph newspaper reported on Thursday.

City officials in Nottingham spent 1 million pounds on 215 high-tech meters earlier this year after studies showed local authorities in sun-drenched Mediterranean countries had saved a fortune in maintenance costs.

But the council reckoned without the relentless lack of sun in the average British summer, let alone the monotonous gray of the British winter.

Despite better than average sunshine last month, more than a quarter of the machines have stopped working, to the delight of local motorists who have benefited from free parking periods.

"This is an ill-thought scheme," Nottingham city councilor Sally McNamara told the paper.

The council has called in the meters' suppliers to adjust the machines ahead of winter.

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[bearkat77]

A Massachusetts woman was arrested during a break from jury duty after police allegedly found a large amount of heroin and cocaine on her. Leslie Ronayne was in a restaurant opposite Worcester Courthouse with her husband, John, when police reportedly found 181 bags of heroin on them. Mrs Ronayne is also alleged to have had four ounces of cocaine. They were charged with the possession of heroin with intent to distribute and possession with intent to distribute within 100 feet of a park.

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Startling Glow-In-The-Dark Salmon

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) - An eerie glow from salmon drying in a smokehouse startled some residents of Holy Cross, a Yupik Eskimo village of about 300 on the lower Yukon River in Alaska.

Sandra Dementieff found that some of the salmon in her smokehouse was glowing in the dark, something she had never seen before, according to a report by the Tundra Drums, the region's newspaper. Some villagers wondered if nuclear contamination in the Bering Sea was to blame.

But officials from the Alaska Department of Fish and Game and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service determined that the glow was from phosphorescent marine bacteria that had spread over the fish.

Ted Meyers, chief fish pathologist for the Department of Fish and Game, said he found the luminescent bacteria when he studied a piece of the glowing salmon sent to his Juneau office from Holy Cross.

He said studies of the bacteria show that it is spread when fish are stored in unusually moist conditions.

Fish racks in rural Alaska probably hold many more salmon with luminescent bacteria than people realize, because the glow is hidden by the lack of nighttime darkness during the summer, Meyers said.

"A lot of times, I think, it just goes unobserved," he said.

Whether the glowing salmon is safe to eat remains debatable, Meyers said.

"The sample I got wasn't something I'd want to eat. It didn't pass my smell test," he said.


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[bearkat77]

NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER

(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Gorge, Washington amphitheater.

Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine-foot fence and sneak into the show.

They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr Pernicky (who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for (the late) Mr Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.

Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocketknife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.

Finally free, (did I mention he is THE LATE) Mr Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body, and now without the protection of his shorts, a Holly branch penetrated his rectal cavity. To make matters worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3-inches.

(The late) Mr Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly drive away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.

Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100-feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.

Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked with scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

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Sure, sure... that's what they want you to think happened. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil4.gifPriest Performed Exorcism on Mother Teresa http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil5.gif

CALCUTTA, India (Reuters) - An exorcism was performed on Mother Teresa a few months before she died because of fears that she was being attacked by the http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil1.gif, the Archbishop of Calcutta said on Thursday.

The half-hour exorcism took place while Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to caring for the "poorest of the poor," was in a Calcutta hospital for treatment of heart problems and was unable to sleep.

Exorcism is the casting out of an evil spirit through prayer.

"When doctors said they could not find a medical reason for her sleeplessness, I thought she might be getting attacked by the http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil2.gif," Archbishop Henry Sebastian D'Souza told Reuters.

"I wanted her to calm down and asked a priest, in the name of the church, to perform an exorcism prayer on her. She happily agreed. After he performed these prayers, she slept very well that night," he said.

The Nobel prize-winning nun, who founded the Missionaries of Charity, was put by Pope John Paul on the fast-track to sainthood soon after her death in 1997 at the age of 87.

The 79-year-old Sicilian-born priest, Rosario Stroscio, who performed the exorcism, told Reuters she had been "behaving strangely" just before the special prayers.

"HARASSED BY SATAN" http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil3.gif

"She was a little dazed and behaved strangely. Maybe Mother Teresa was under harassment from Satan. But after the prayers, she was quite calm," Stroscio, who has lived in Calcutta for 62 years, said.

The archbishop who oversaw preparation of a 35,000-page report on the nun's life that was sent to the Vatican last month as part of her canonization process said, "since she was such a holy person, the http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil7.gif could (have been) tempted to attack her."

The pope waived for Mother Teresa the normal five-year period usually required between a person dying and the beatification process starting.

Beatification, in which a person is declared as blessed, is a major step toward canonization or sainthood. Mother Teresa is already popularly known as the "saint of the gutters" for her work among the poor and sick.

Mother Teresa who was born in Macedonia, came to India in 1937. She founded the India-based worldwide order of the Missionaries of Charity 52 years ago with 12 members.

"I did nothing special. In the history (of the Catholic Church), hundreds of saints have gone through such things (as exorcism)," Stroscio said.

[bearkat77]

The http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil4.gif caused this double post. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/angry2.gif

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[This Message Has Been Edited By bearkat77 On September 09, 2001 06:25 PM]

[bearkat77]

That's what they want you to believe. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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[bearkat77]

A Brazilian truck driver has risen from the grave 15 hours after being shot. Pedro da Silva Correa was mistaken for a drug trafficker and thrown into a tomb in a cemetery after being shot by a rival drug gang. Fifteen hours later he managed to push the cement lid off, climb out of the tomb in Campos and reach a hospital. One of the bullets was still lodged in the 43-year-old's head when he arrived at the hospital, Brazil Online website reports.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
The http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devil4.gif caused this double post. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/angry2.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's what you want me to believe. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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Snared Shark Gets Revenge, Bites Captor

MIAMI (Reuters) - A shark took revenge on its captor, biting a fisherman who had caught it in the sea off the Florida Everglades but then fell into the water, the Miami Herald reported Sunday.

The 44-year-old fisherman was airlifted to Miami's Jackson Memorial Hospital Saturday night, where he was treated for a bite to his left leg and several fingers of his left hand, a hospital spokesman said.

He was in good condition and the wounds were "very superficial," spokesman Thomas Ellison told Reuters. He would probably be discharged Monday.

The spokesman declined to give the man's name, saying "he wanted nothing to do with the media."

The Miami Herald reported that the man was fishing off the Everglades National Park Saturday when he caught the shark and pulled it onto his boat.

He then sprayed himself with insect repellent, became slippery and fell off the boat, the newspaper said, quoting a fire-rescue dispatcher. Somehow the shark ended up back in the water too and bit the fisherman.



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[bearkat77]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Snared Shark Gets Revenge, Bites Captor<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Somehow, that's what I believe you want to believe. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/images/icons/wink.gif

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[bearkat77]

An Australian fined for offensive behaviour after he passed gas in a Melbourne police station was Thursday cleared by an appeal court that found his flatulence was not necessarily deliberate. Sally Smith of the Legal Aid Service said the case brought against David Grixti was a ridiculous waste of public money. "Passing wind is a natural bodily function and we think it is absurd that it may be criminalised," she said. Grixti, who had been fined 200 Australian dollars (104 U.S. dollars) for the offense by the lower court, had his conviction quashed on appeal.

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[bearkat77]

Double-time march. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/scream3.gif

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[This Message Has Been Edited By bearkat77 On September 10, 2001 07:54 PM]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
An Australian fined for offensive behaviour after he passed gas in a Melbourne police station was Thursday cleared by an appeal court that found his flatulence was not necessarily deliberate. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's what they think. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/devious.gif



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Texas Man Crosses Road for Chicken, Falls in Hole

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A quick trip out for fried chicken turned into a three-day ordeal when a Houston man fell into an open manhole and got stuck, authorities said on Monday.

Kevin Funchess, a 41-year-old school teacher, was rescued in good condition on Saturday after he managed to call 911 on his cell phone, they said.

Funchess told reporters he was walking to get some fried chicken on Wednesday night when he fell into the manhole in a grassy area beneath a freeway near his home.

His body wedged in just 3 feet (1 meter) below the surface, but he could not get out or move enough to reach the cell phone that was stuck beneath him in his backpack.

His shouts for help went unheard and he was unable to answer the phone, which rang repeatedly as anxious family members tried to call him. Funchess said he slept and prayed while hoping help would come.

On Saturday, after three days without food and water, he was able to maneuver enough to reach the phone and call 911. Rescuers who pulled him out said he was dehydrated and sore, but in good condition.

Funchess said the bizarre experience left him a changed man. "It makes me look at certain things a lot differently now," he said.

His chief regret?

"I never did get that chicken."




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[SleepyHead]

An elephant park in Thailand is hoping to make extra money by
processing paper from elephant dung. The Ayutthaya Elephant Park uses
a process which separates fibrous bits from the elephant waste, which
it then dries to make the paper.....Now there's an envelope I wouldn't
want to lick.....


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Broken Leg Helps Make Man a Millionaire

MELBOURNE (Reuters) - An Australian man nursing a broken leg became a millionaire when he picked lottery-winning numbers from his hospital identification bracelet.

The Melbourne man split a A$3.0 million (US$1.47 million) prize pool with two other winners from New South Wales and Queensland states in numbers drawn late on Tuesday.

The unidentified man in his 50s said he wrote the numbers on his lottery ticket after looking at the registration number on his hospital bracelet.

"With all that has been happening over the last week or so, I have been in a bit of a daze, like everything has been a dream" the man told reporters on Wednesday.



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[bearkat77]

A 95-year-old Vietnamese man who watched his teeth gradually drop out for 20 years has started teething again and now has a dozen new ones, an official newspaper reported on Monday. Nguyen Cong Du in Phu Cu district of the northern province of Hung Yen started teething in 1998, growing both front and molar teeth that are "as white as the baby-teeth,'' the official Thanh Nien (Young People) newspaper said. Du has now been able to switch from what had become routine meals of congee, or broth, to Vietnam's popular steamed rice, the paper said.

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Stamp Issued 4,545 Years Too Late

COLOMBO (Reuters) - Red-faced Sri Lankan postal authorities ordered an inquiry on Thursday after a printing error left an important Buddhist commemorative stamp 4,545 years out of date, officials said.

The stamp, issued this week in honor of one of the country's premier Buddhist societies, was dated 2544 BC, for "Before Christ," instead of BE, for "Buddhist Era," which would have signified the current year of the Buddhist calendar.

An official of the Philatelic Bureau told Reuters an inquiry had been launched, but said it was too late to recall the stamps from hundreds of post offices across the country.

"It was a terribly embarrassing mistake. The whole point of using a Buddhist era date is lost," the official said.

Buddhists, about 70 percent of Sri Lanka's population, prefer to use a calendar dating from death of the Buddha, about 500 years before the birth of Christ, particularly in matters of religious significance.


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[bearkat77]

An Australian man nursing a broken leg became a millionaire when he picked lottery-winning numbers from his hospital identification bracelet. The Melbourne man split a A$3.0 million (US$1.47 million) prize pool with two other winners from New South Wales and Queensland states in numbers drawn late on Tuesday. The unidentified man in his 50s said he wrote the numbers on his lottery ticket after looking at the registration number on his hospital bracelet. "With all that has been happening over the last week or so, I have been in a bit of a daze, like everything has been a dream," the man told reporters on Wednesday.

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By bearkat77:
An Australian man nursing a broken leg became a millionaire when he picked lottery-winning numbers from his hospital identification bracelet. The Melbourne man split a A$3.0 million (US$1.47 million) prize pool with two other winners from New South Wales and Queensland states in numbers drawn late on Tuesday. The unidentified man in his 50s said he wrote the numbers on his lottery ticket after looking at the registration number on his hospital bracelet. "With all that has been happening over the last week or so, I have been in a bit of a daze, like everything has been a dream," the man told reporters on Wednesday.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now where have I read this one before. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/thinker.gif

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/lightbulb.gif 3 posts up.


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Mom Dashes 900 Miles to Deliver Forgotten GameBoy

LONDON (Reuters) - Devoted mother Carol Dukes traveled 900 miles (1,450 km) so her son, the apple of her eye, could play with his GameBoy on a school trip.

Dukes, 41, spent 150 pounds ($220) on planes and taxis in the mad dash from her home in Berkshire to London's Heathrow Airport and on to Scotland to catch 11-year-old Charlie after she realized he had left the handheld computer game at home.

"If you decide to do something you do it and worry about the money later," Dukes told Reuters Tuesday. "But I think everyone was quite surprised to see me."

Charlie and 39 classmates were bound for the isolated island of Iona to learn about life without modern amenities.

When Charlie's mum caught up with her son's train at Dumbarton, near Glasgow, he was understandably embarrassed.

"He was a bit diffident when I caught up with him and I guess he was a tad embarrassed," Dukes admitted.

Dukes said she was not an overindulgent mum but she felt responsible for repacking Charlie's bag and forgetting to replace the game and his pencil case.

"I wanted Charlie to have a good time and the only option I had was to get the GameBoy to him in person," Dukes said.



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[bearkat77]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Tahoma, Arial, Sans-Serif">Quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted By Nowhere Man:
Now where have I read this one before. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/thinker.gif

http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/lightbulb.gif 3 posts up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I was tired last night and just didn't see your post. http://www.beatlelinks.net/ubb/smilies/afraid3.gif

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[bearkat77]

Tweezers, pencil sharpeners, manicure sets -- items that a week ago seemed innocuous -- have been seized by the thousand from airline passengers amid heightened security at U.S. airports following hijacked suicide plane attacks in New York and Washington.

Airlines have replaced metal cutlery with plastic knives and forks, and in some airports bartenders can no longer slice a lemon after reports that hijackers last week used knives and cardboard cutters to take over four planes and turn them into deadly missiles.

Officials at Los Angeles airport -- the world's third busiest -- on Tuesday displayed some of the 5,000 items a day that have been confiscated from passenger hand luggage since the airport resumed limited operations last Thursday.

The potential weapons included scissors, corkscrews, umbrellas, nail clippers, plastic guns, razors and knives of any description.

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Travel Agent Fired for Booking 'Bin Laden'

KARACHI, Pakistan (Reuters) - A Jittery Pakistan International Airlines said Thursday it had fired a travel agency for booking a passenger named Osama bin Laden on a flight from Karachi to Islamabad for Friday morning.

"PIA Thursday canceled the agency of a regular travel agent who had sent the airline a booking in the name of Osama bin Laden for the Karachi-Islamabad sector," the spokesman for the state-run airline told Reuters.

A senior PIA official said Karachi-based Princely Travel, was delisted after the airline received information from its central reservation office that a passenger named Osama bin Laden was booked for Friday morning on a Karachi-Islamabad flight.

"We don't know who the passenger is... Is he the prime suspect of attacks on the U.S. or not?... But the decision has been taken to ensure the safety of the airline," the official said.

U.S. officials have named Saudi-born militant Osama bin Laden, who has been living in Afghanistan, as the prime suspect in last week's attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon in Washington in which thousands of people have died and are missing.



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[bearkat77]

Several insurance companies in France have begun offering policies to compensate parents of kids who get bullied in the schoolyard, according to an August Associated Press report. No company yet covers stolen lunch money, but eyeglasses that get slapped off a kid's face and trendy designer clothes that inspire muggings are covered.

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Burglars Show Taste for High Life

DUBLIN (Reuters) - Burglars with a taste for the high life quaffed vintage champagne and sampled fine cheeses during a bizarre break-in in the southern Irish city of Cork, Irish newspapers reported on Friday.

After gorging themselves on bubbly worth 200 Irish pounds ($233) a bottle and guzzling the gourmet cheeses at Cork's landmark English Market, the thieves then helped themselves to new outfits at a clothes shop on the premises before fleeing. No money was taken, reports said.

Police said the burglars broke into the covered market through glass panels in the roof. Detectives are hoping the culprits' fingerprints are on the champagne bottles, which were found neatly lined up outside the shop.



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[bearkat77]

Osama bin Laden has displaced Pamela Anderson in cyberspace and people looking for information about the American flag outnumbered those curious about Britney Spears. For the first time in the short history of the Internet, popular search engines report that "sex" dropped off their lists of top 10 search terms in the days following the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. "Popular search terms last week turned almost exclusively to disaster-related information," said David Emanuel, spokesman for the popular search engine AltaVista, which tracks top search terms. Almost all perennial favorites like Pamela Anderson Lee, Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys were knocked off the list. Sex, a longtime favorite usually in the top 10, dropped to No. 17, Emanuel said.

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No Bull -- Hunter Shoots Hermaphrodite Moose

WHITEHORSE, Yukon (Reuters) - A hunter in the northern wilds of Canada's Yukon Territory got the surprise of his life last week when the supposed bull moose he shot turned out to be not a male, nor a female, but both.

"The hunter shot it, thinking it was a bull. When he got closer, he saw that things weren't as they should have been, or as he expected," Rick Ward, a moose biologist for the Yukon government, said on Friday.

"It was a hermaphroditic moose. It was a female with antlers," said Ward, who added he had never seen anything like it in his 25 years as a biologist -- of which 15 years have been spent studying moose.

"It's very, very rare," he said. "It's about the same as finding hermaphrodites in humans -- very, very low odds."

The vast Yukon territory, located next to Alaska, is home to about 30,000 people, an equal number of bears and twice as many moose.

Hunting of male moose is permitted for three months in the autumn of every year, and those who shoot one can live on the meat of a single animal for a winter.

But hunters who shoot cows face steep fines.

Ward said the hunter, who called wildlife authorities after discovering the quirk of nature, was not fined.



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[bearkat77]

Concerns about disturbing symbolic messages in a graphical font, which Microsoft believed it had calmed nearly a decade ago, are resurfacing in the wake of terrorist attacks on New York. Now the company is once again assuring users that it did not intentionally embed hidden messages into MS Word.

In the last 12 days, conspiracy-related websites and mailing lists have centered considerable attention on an eerie string of graphics that come up when users type the capital letters NYC into a font on Word called Wingdings. The resultant collection of images -- which includes symbols for a skull and crossbones, a Star of David and a thumbs-up sign -- has led some to conjecture that the program contains a deliberate anti-Semitic message.

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Armageddon Coming? Then Buy a Bunker SpotLONDON (Reuters) - Do you fear Armageddon is coming? Then British farmer Mike Parrish can offer peace of mind in his underground bunker -- at a price.

The 30,000 pound ($44,260) admission fee guarantees you a spot for the next 10 years in a Cold War bunker designed to withstand nuclear, chemical and biological warfare.

Parrish, who becomes a grandfather for the first time in November, has already booked spots for the 50 members of his extended family. That leaves room for up to 100 more people and he is looking for everyone from an engineer to a comedian.

"The comedian would be there to keep us all amused. Boredom would weigh heavily on us in the bunker," he told Reuters as he sifted through applications for his survivalist safe haven.

"In a tight community for an indeterminate time you need a wide variety of skills -- cook, bottle washer, comedian and electrician," Parrish said.

And he is determined to get the right psychological mix.

"People need to be interviewed to ensure they are compatible," he said of the underground community he plans to pick for the Kelvedon Hatch Nuclear Bunker in the depths of the English countryside east of London.

With President Bush declaring a worldwide "war on terrorism" and London standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Washington, many traditionally phlegmatic Britons have abandoned their stiff upper lips. The bunker mentality abounds.

The government has urged people to be vigilant but insists there is no specific threat. That hasn't stopped a run on gas mask sales. "Chemical suits are the latest fashion accessories for survivalists," the Independent newspaper said Wednesday.

Tabloids are full of nightmare scenarios. Photos abound of soldiers in chemical warfare suits and masks. "The spectre of Germ Warfare: The Mail special dossier sorts out the facts from the fiction," declared one headline.

PANIC BUTTON

Parrish insists he isn't pushing the panic button. "I have offered this facility for the last two to three years. There was no crisis and no one was interested," he said.

"What am I meant to do -- close the doors and let nobody in? This is not profiteering, this is not scare-mongering."

The bunker was built on Parrish's land in 1952 to house government officials in the event of a nuclear attack. When the Cold War ended, he purchased the bunker.

It is now a tourist attraction that boasts its own Web site -- www.japar.demon.co.uk (http://www.japar.demon.co.uk) --- which offers a virtual tour behind reinforced concrete walls and deep into the bowels of the three-story bunker.

You can even hire the bunker out for parties -- but Parrish won't book any 18th or 21st birthday celebrations.

He said: "I have spent the odd night down there and we have it constantly filled with supplies."

But does the 53-year-old farmer fear the worst? "When I was young, people went on ban-the-bomb marches and were deciding whether to have children or not. It happens in every generation but life goes on."


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[bearkat77]

Dorothy Marie Livingston has been accused of passing a fake $1 million bill at a bank - and the teller, apparently, didn't see anything strange about the transaction. Livingston, 24, allegedly used the phony note to start an account at the First National Bank of Newport on July 15. She later withdrew some of the money and transferred it to her husband's account, police said. Livingston has been charged with 16 counts of theft by deception and was being held on $25,000 bail, police said.

The fake $1 million bill is about 10 times the value of the largest bill ever printed by the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing, and 10,000 times the value of the largest bill still being printed, the Treasury Department said. The $100,000 bill existed for about three weeks in the 1930s, when it was used to transfer funds between Federal Reserve banks. It was never publicly circulated.

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It's a New Record for Cockroach Eating!

LONDON (Reuters) - Some people will do anything to get into the record books -- eat cockroaches, catapult coins or just sit around and navel-gaze.

Australian Graham Barker has extracted his own belly button fluff every day since 1984, collecting a world record 0.54 ounces.

His collection, perfectly preserved and catalogued, is just one of the weird and wonderful feats recorded in the 2002 edition of Guinness World Records, published on Friday.

"Some people gaze into their navel for inspiration. I look into mine and see navel fluff," said Barker, whose ambition is to collect enough navel pickings to stuff a pillow.

Briton Ken Edwards, a former rat-catcher and part-time entertainer, made it into the record book after eating 36 medium-sized cockroaches in one minute on March 5, 2001.

As part of his stage act he also stuffs 47 rats down a pair of pantyhose -- while wearing them.

Then there is Monte Pierce, who can catapult a coin just under 12 feet with his ear -- the world record for the furthest coin propulsion by an earlobe.

Pierce, who started yanking his ears as a child, can also cover his eyes with his lobes and pull them down under his chin.

Other bizarre record-breaking feats include the loudest burp, by Briton Paul Hunn, which registered 118.1 decibels -- comparable to a plane taking off, according to the record book.

Sooty was crowned the most romantic guinea pig after fathering 43 babies during a single night of passion with 24 partners in December 2000.

British actor Vic Gallucci holds the record for most appearances as a television extra. Since 1989 he has appeared 819 times as Detective Constable Tom Baker in police TV drama The Bill.

He has yet to speak a line.

Now in its 48th edition, Guinness World Records 2002 includes chapters on extreme sports, computer games, medical marvels and robots, as well as the classic fastest, slowest, tallest and smallest categories.


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[bearkat77]

Brazilian metalworker Andrea Eloisa da Silva is no "dumb blonde." After listening to her boss repeatedly call her just that in front of colleagues, the 32-year-old Silva sued him and won $1,300 in moral damages plus recognition that she was unduly fired -- which paves the way for more compensation. "It is an unprecedented decision on moral damages for blondes,'' Alexandre Santoro, a spokesman for the regional labor court that ruled in Silva's favor, said on Tuesday. "The judge determined that the term 'dumb blonde' violated the dignity of the employee,'' he said. The owner of Usinagem RPM metal factory in Belo Horizonte, 280 miles (450 km) northwest of Rio de Janeiro, can appeal the ruling. As in the English-speaking world, there are an unending number of jokes about "louras burras'' or dumb blondes in Brazil.

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Man with Osama Bin Laden Tattoo Arrested

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A man with a portrait of Osama bin Laden tattooed across his chest and carrying false identification was arrested after the attacks on New York and the Pentagon, police in southern California said.

Orange County Sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino said Thursday he was unable to release any details about the unidentified man because of a "federal gag order" in connection with the suicide hijackings that left nearly 7,000 people dead or missing.

The man was taken into custody in Orange County, south of Los Angeles, sometime after the Sept. 11 attacks, Amormino said. During an initial search at the county jail he was found to have a large tattoo of suspected mastermind bin Laden on his chest. Underneath was written: "Osama bin Laden."

Amormino said authorities said the man, who is being held at an undisclosed location, was also found to be carrying false identification papers.

Amormino said he could not say if the man was being investigated in connection with the attacks, but the Los Angeles Times reported on its Web site that federal and local authorities were both working on the case.

Orange County Assistant Sheriff George Jaramillo told the paper that authorities were working to determine if the man was associated with bin Laden or the attacks.



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Ooops! Tanks Smash Through Gas Pipeline

KIEV (Reuters) - A column of Ukrainian tanks, which lost its way to a military training ground, smashed into a natural gas pipeline, cutting off supplies, the emergencies ministry said Friday.

A spokesman said the accident took place late Thursday when the tanks were trying to find a route through rain and darkness to a training ground in central Ukraine.

Emergency services shut off gas supplies to stop leaks at the regional pipeline between the towns of Berdychiv and Zhytomir. The line was repaired overnight.



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[bearkat77]

T-shirts depicting a naked woman as a piece of meat have been withdrawn from a US chain of clothes shops following complaints. Urban Outfitters has agreed to pull the men's shirt from shelves across the country. It pictures a kneeling cow girl labeled with the names of beef parts, including chuck for her shoulder and soup bone for her thigh. The T-shirt refers to the woman as "tender juicy beef" and bears the title Kansas Cattle Queen.

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[SleepyHead]

A teenager who allegedly tried to steal a cat was caught
and sat on by a Good Samaritan. Michael Russ could not
stand the thought of someone else adopting the kitten
from the Humane Society of Tucson, Arizona. So he
grabbed the cat and ran for cover, chased by workers
at the animal sanctuary and witnesses.Russ allegedly
pulled brass knuckles from his pocket and slipped them
over his fingers, during the chase, threatening pet adoption
workers who tried to stop him.
He was "detained firmly in place" by a 365-pound man who
sat on him.


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[SleepyHead]

German man was so terrified after being bitten by a
spider that he told the police he had been shot so they
would come as fast as possible.
A team of armed officers in bullet-proof vests and an
ambulance raced to the man's house after he made the call.
When the emergency crews arrived and secured the house,
however, they found the 20-year-old man had only a small,
red spider bite on his arm.
The man told police he had made up the gunshot story so
they would come as quickly as possible because he was
so scared of dying from the bite.


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[SleepyHead]

Poo from an extinct Tasmanian tiger has sparked an
international scientific row.
A British scientist's attempts to take home pre-historic
samples of the faeces, called scats, has been blocked
by officials. Tasmania says it wants to keep all the poo
for itself. Scientists trying to gain access to it ,have been
turned away from the Queen Victoria Museum and Art
Gallery in Launceston who says it is valuable scientific data.


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[SleepyHead]

A family met their new neighbor for the first time after she
crashed through their lounge wall in a car. Sandra McKenzie
accidentally drove into her neighbors home just three days
after moving to the street. Dave and Vicky Yeoman say it will
cost about $15,000 to repair their home in Beverley, near Hull.
The couple and their seven-month-old son were not in the house
at the time of the accident and say they can see the funny side
of the incident.
Mr. Yeoman said: "Mrs. McKenzie has apologized, and it was
an accident, but I don't see us having any dinner parties together.


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[SleepyHead]

On a tombstone at St. Peter's Isle of Thanet, England

Against his will
Here lies George Hill
Who from a cliff
Fell quite stiff
When it happen'd is not known
Therefore not mentioned on this stone
~~~~~~~

Found in Devonshire, England

Here lies, returned to clay
Miss Arabella Young
Who on this first day of May
Began to hold her tongue
~~~~~~~

Found near Lebanon, Connecticut

As a stranger she did die,
In strange lands she doth lie.
Here by strangers she was laid,
And her funeral charges paid.
~~~~~~~

Found at cemetery in Boston, Massachusetts

Here lies a man who while he lived
Was happy as a linnet.
He always lied while on the earth
And now he's lying in it.


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[SleepyHead]

Actual headstones.....

In Chattanooga, Tennessee

Here lies Ned.
There is nothing more to be said--
Because we like to speak well of the dead.
~~~~~~

Bailey McDurmott--1897

I came into this world
Without my consent
And left in the same manner.
~~~~~~~

Arthur C. Homan--Cleveland, Ohio

Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again.
~~~~~~
In an Amarillo, Texas cemetery

Jake Simpson--1881

Mean and ornery
As a snake
With no regrets
We bury Jake.


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New York Probes Mob Theft of Trade Center Scrap

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Authorities in New York said on Friday they were investigating whether criminals looted the ruins of the World Trade Center, diverting scrap metal still considered evidence in the Sept. 11 attacks.

New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik said a Manhattan grand jury was reviewing evidence that organized crime families took tons of steel and other metals to three area dumps -- two in New Jersey and one in Long Island -- instead of the official site on Staten Island.

"There is an ongoing investigation being conducted by the organized crime control bureau and the trade waste commission," Kerik told a news conference.

"We believe (the scrap metal) was taken directly from the site," he said.

Mob families in New York and New Jersey have long been linked to corruption in the local garbage disposal industry.

Kerik gave no further details but the New York Post on Friday reported more than 250 tons of crime-scene material was diverted.

Other than a few small incidents, including two rescue volunteers arrested for stealing watches from a trade center store, there was no widespread looting following the New York attacks.

More than 133,000 tons of twisted steel and pulverized concrete has been removed from the scene where two hijacked passenger jets were flown into the landmark 110-story twin towers. An estimated 1.2 million tons of rubble resulted from the disaster.

Once removed from the site, the trade center material is being reviewed by investigators at Staten Island's Fresh Kills landfill for possible evidence or signs of victims in the attack.

Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said on Friday it could take up to a year before the lower Manhattan site, which includes steel beams driven deep into the ground by the buildings' collapse, is completely cleaned up.



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[bearkat77]

In September, Tokyo's Mainichi Daily News reported that a 25-year-old bulimic woman from Toyoda, Japan (near Nagoya), was arrested for massive violations of the country's Waste Disposal Act after being identified as the person who has, for over a year, been illegally dumping about 60 pounds a week of vomit that she had collected in plastic bags. She said, according to police, "I didn't want to throw away the vomit near my home, so I took it to faraway places."

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Toddler Found Safe in Bear's Den After 3 Days

TEHRAN (Reuters) - A mother bear appears to have cared for a missing 16-month-old Iranian toddler who was found safe and sound three days later in the animal's den, the Kayhan newspaper said Tuesday.

The child's parents, from a nomadic tribe in western Lorestan province, returned to their tent after working in the fields to find him missing, Kayhan said.

Three days later, a search party found the baby, who they said had probably been breast fed by a mother bear, in a den some six miles away from the nomadic settlement. A medical examination showed the baby was in good health, the daily said.



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[bearkat77]

A trim U.S. prison guard has eaten his way into the world record books by munching 17,500 Big Macs. Donald A Gorske has consumed an average of two McDonald's burgers every day since May 17, 1972 -- a feat that has seen him included in the 2002 edition of "Guinness World Records", which was published on Friday. "Big Macs have always been my favourite food," 46-year-old Gorske said. "You guys drink tea all day, I eat Big Macs," he told the British researchers of the world-famous record book.

Gorkse, who sports a car registration SZME CB1 (Sesame Seed Bun), rates 1984 as the vintage year for Big Macs in terms of flavour, value, size and consistency. The most burgers he has eaten in a day is nine and the 179lb (81kg) burger connoisseur from Wisconsin has dined at McDonald's outlets across 48 of the 50 U.S. states.

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Man Robs Bank Branch Where He Was Customer

VIENNA (Reuters) - Austrian police arrested a 28-year-old man who robbed the Salzburg branch of Austrian savings bank Sparkasse where he was known as a customer, the APA news agency reported Wednesday.

The Austrian man held up the bank at gunpoint Monday, escaping on foot with a loot of $20,070.

After being identified as a customer by a bank employee, the man was detained by police at a late-night bar in Klagenfurt.

By the time of his arrest Tuesday, the man had guzzled five bottles of champagne in the company of several bar hostesses. APA said the thief did not resist arrest.



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[bearkat77]

The Iranian police vice squad has issued new rules restricting the display of western items of clothing, including a ban on showing women's underwear in shop windows, the Teheran daily Entekhab reported Tuesday. The rules also prohibit male shop owners from selling underwear to women not accompanied by a man. Directors of public organizations and civil servants are also called not to wear ties or bowties which Iran's Moslem clerical establishment regards as "donkey's tails" and signs of Western decadence and cultural invasion, according to the report.

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Glacier Reveals Climbers Lost for 38 Years

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - The remains of two Swiss climbers lost almost 38 years ago have been recovered from New Zealand's Southern Alps, local media reported on Wednesday.

Bones, clothing and climbing equipment were discovered by a climber at the end of the Hooker Glacier, near Mount Cook, and recovered by police and Department of Conservation staff, the Timaru Herald newspaper reported.

A wallet found among the equipment and personal effects identified the pair as Edward Kunz and Augustus Manser, who disappeared on December 28, 1963.

Mount Cook, New Zealand's highest peak at 3,754 meters (12,313 feet), is around 200 km (125 miles) west of Christchurch in New Zealand's South Island.

South Canterbury Search and Rescue coordinator Sergeant Geoff McCrostie told the Herald it was not unusual for remains to be discovered after decades hidden in slow-moving glaciers.


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[bearkat77]

Man Saved by Mid-Air Grab

LONDON (Reuters) - A British constable hurled himself off a cliff after a suicidal man, catching him in mid-air and saving his life, a police spokesman said on Friday.

A Sussex police spokesman said Constable Trevor Perks, who was strapped to a safety harness, managed to catch the man by the scruff of his neck as they both tumbled down the cliff side.

"They were left dangling about 80 feet (24 meters) above the rocks for quite some time before another officer managed to haul them up," the spokesman told Reuters.

The incident happened on Thursday at Beachy Head -- a spot on England's south coast notorious for suicides.

Perks, 35, and another officer managed to get the distraught man on the ground, but he broke free and made a dash for the cliff edge. The constable threw himself after the man and managed to catch him on the way down with some clever acrobatics, the spokesman said.

At one point, Perks lost his grip and the man slipped further but landed on a chalky outcrop just a few feet below. His rescuer was lowered further to grab him again.

"I was holding on to the back pockets of his trousers at this stage to stop him getting away," Perks told reporters.

When the pair were hauled back to the top of the cliff, the man became violent and had to be subdued with pepper spray, the spokesman said.

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Underpants Fail to Mask Robber's Identity

OSLO (Reuters) - A drunken Norwegian who pulled a pair of underpants over his face and robbed a post office was awakened by police two days later to find he had tipped them off about his identity.

The 47-year-old drunk charged into the post office and handed over a note saying "This is a robbery," the local newspaper Bergensavisen said on Friday.

But his wife's name and personal details were on the back of the demand note, the newspaper said.

The man told a court he did not remember the robbery, but admitted he had a suspicion of having been up to no good when he woke up and saw a picture of the be-knickered robber in the newspaper and found a large wad of money in his living room.



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[bearkat77]

Mystery 200-Year-Old Box Found Under Street

DUBLIN (Reuters) - Workmen excavating a site in Dublin have dug up a mysterious stone and metal box archaeologists believe is a "time capsule" buried 200 years ago.

The sealed container, which experts hope may be opened next week, was discovered at a central Dublin site where a monument to English naval hero Horatio Nelson once stood.

Pat Wallace, director of Ireland's national museum, said the box -- measuring around two-and-a-half feet (75 cm) by one-and-a-half feet (45cm) -- probably contained artifacts of the era such as coins and newspapers.

"It's very exciting to find something that was historically tucked away," he told Reuters. "The question is, though, will the contents have survived?"

Museum archaeologists were currently cleaning the outside of the box in order to read an inscription on the casing, and would take X-rays before attempting to open it, he said.

The container was found as work began on the belated erection of a 120-meter (394 feet) stainless steel spike -- intended to mark the new millennium but delayed after concerns about its environmental impact.

The original monument on the site, Nelson's Pillar, was erected in 1808 but blown up by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) in 1966.

Wallace said the box was probably intended to remain buried for 1,000 years.

"The idea has always been there, with historical buildings, to put something away for the future, but how could these people have known the statue would be blown up?"

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[SleepyHead]

New Zealand conservation officials have dropped 120 tons of bait and a
team of 20 rat hunters onto a remote sub-Antarctic island in what they
say is the largest rodent eradication project the world has ever seen.
They aim to wipe out up to 200,000 Norway rats probably introduced to
Campbell Island, 438 miles south of New Zealand's South Island, by 19th
century whalers and sealers.....Next stop Afghanistan.....

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[SleepyHead]

The killer whale made famous by the film "Free Willy," is having
difficulty rejoining the wild, despite efforts to return him to a free
environment. "Keiko" has taken over 60 trips out of his pen to join
wild whale pods near his home of South Iceland, but is reluctant to
leave.

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[SleepyHead]

A Swedish biologist named Susanne Wigh-Masak has pointed out that human
bodies can be turned into mulch by placing the body in liquid nitrogen
and placing the body in a biodegradable coffin.....Watch out next time
you kick a clump of fertilizer, you may be kicking your relatives in
the backside.....

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WTC Widow Faces Expulsion From U.S.?

LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman faces expulsion from the United States after losing her husband in the September 11 attacks on New York because her right to live in the country died with her husband, she said on Sunday.

Deena Gilbey, 37, relied on her husband Paul for her right to live in the United States because she was listed as a "dependent" on his work visa. Officials wrote to her days after the attack to say her right to live in America was being withdrawn.

"My husband was murdered in this country, his remains are still there somewhere at Ground Zero, and now the U.S. government is killing us all over again," Gilbey told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper.

Gilbey said she had called the Immigration and Naturalization Service to check on her status after receiving the letter. She says they told her that she was an illegal alien.

Gilbey also told the paper that she had learned from a probate lawyer that she is liable for sixty percent tax on her husband's life insurance because she is neither a citizen nor a Green Card immigrant.

Gilbey, from Southend in Essex in eastern England said it threatened the loss of her New Jersey home which she shares with her sons Mason, 3, and Maxwell, 7.

"The little boys are traumatized and now they want to take our home from us. We did things properly, so if something happened to Paul I could bring up the kids in our own home, and now it is going to be impossible to do that," she said.



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[bearkat77]

Vets say a dog that suffered just a broken leg after falling 140ft off a cliff is the luckiest animal they've seen. Henry the retriever-cross fell off the Seven Sisters cliffs, Eastbourne while he chased a seagull. His owner thought he was dead, but found him swimming to the shore after the sea broke his fall. Vets have inserted a metal plate and artificial tendons in his front right leg. Vet Peter Stotesbury says: "He is the luckiest dog we have ever come across. No-one could believe he had survived a fall from that height and undoubtedly it was the water that saved him."

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Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run

ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a police helicopter this week to swoop in for a midnight snack of doughnuts, officials said on Friday.

The officer and the civilian pilot were on night patrol over the city in a Kiowa OH-58 helicopter when they landed in a vacant lot next to a Krispy Kreme doughnut store around 1 a.m. on Thursday morning.

"The contracted pilot and a police officer landed the copter early in the morning, ran in and grabbed a dozen, came back out and took off," Albuquerque Police Department spokesman Brian McCutcheon said.

"I don't know whose brain child it was, but it's quite an ugly child," he said.

McCutcheon said the event was being investigated as a possible misuse of city funds as well as for safety reasons, although he added there was no specific protocol for this case because it had ever happened before.

"We've been given no reasonable excuse as to why they would even think they could do this. But there could be some very serious ramifications," he said.

An eyewitness told the Albuquerque Journal that he saw the APD helicopter circle the Krispy Kreme and land in a nearby dirt field.

"I was angry, and I'm still kind of angry. That's my tax dollars, your tax dollars. You've got no business flying in to get doughnuts," said Keith Turner, who works nearby and was taking a smoke break when he saw the chopper swoop in,

The cost to the department of running a Kiowa, including fuel and maintenance, is $80 an hour, McCutcheon said.

A Krispy Kreme employee who asked not to be identified said he didn't see why people were making a big deal of the unusual doughnut run.

"Cops got to eat, too," he said.



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Bar Demands Passport Check, Body Search

BERLIN (Reuters) - Berlin has many zany concept bars, but since the attacks on New York and Washington, drinkers at one cocktail bar in the city have had to present their passports and undergo a full body search before they can order a drink.

This is no spoof. On the other side of the wall from the "Windhorst" bar is the U.S. Embassy, and German police have set up camp outside to conduct checks on all visitors.

"This is the most secure pub in Germany," said owner Guenther Windhorst. Some customers found the checks a novelty at first, but Windhorst says he is now losing business.

"At the beginning, many of my guests thought it was still funny and then they came again to meet someone. But nobody comes back a third time," he said.



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[bearkat77]

Firemen Catch Huge Snake Called 'Bin Laden'

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - Firemen in Rio de Janiero on Thursday captured a giant boa constrictor named after Saudi-born militant Osama bin Laden because it had terrorized local families and devoured their pets.

House maid Neilda Luzia da Costa called the fire department for help after she found the 10-foot (3 meter) snake in her back yard in the upmarket Rio suburb of Barra da Tijuca.

"We heard the dog barking and ran into the back yard to find its puppy had disappeared and instead there was this huge boa constrictor with a full stomach," said the 35-year-old house maid. "It was absolutely terrifying."

It took eight firemen to wrestle the snake into a van.

"We decided to call the snake bin Laden because he was so difficult to capture and also because he is the main suspect in a number of cases of missing pets in the neighborhood," said Costa.

Bin Laden is the prime suspect in the Sept. 11 terror attacks on the Pentagon and New York's World Trade Center which killed thousands of people.

Rio, with its urban parks and tropical climate, is home to a large number of snakes, but firemen said boa constrictors, especially large ones, are rare.

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Man's Burmese Python Eats His Pit Bull

MERCED, Calif. (Reuters) - A northern California man who used to have two pets -- a pit bull terrier and a Burmese python -- now has only one -- a 200-pound python with a pit-bull-sized bulge.

Merced Police Department Cmdr. Tom Martin said the man called police on Friday after the reptile escaped from its cage in the city, about 130 miles southeast of San Francisco. The owner quickly located the snake under his house but then realized his 30-pound pit bull was also missing -- a mystery that was easily solved.

"In the middle of the snake, there was a big round bulge," Martin said. "(The owner) surmised it was his 9-month-old pit bull."

Martin added that it took three hours for the owner and a friend to corral the snake as police officers stood by for safety reasons. Officials are now investigating whether the python should be considered a wild animal and in violation of the city code.

If so, the man might then have no pets at all.



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[bearkat77]

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." And take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A"

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Police Mistake Bearded Man for Bin Laden

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Indian police ordered a turbaned man off a vehicle in the western state of Rajasthan, believing him to be the Saudi-born fugitive Osama bin Laden, a local news agency said.

The man, who had a beard, was later released, Press Trust of India said, quoting local police.

"On questioning, he was found to be the son of an employee of an American firm," a local police officer said.

PTI said a crowd had gathered outside the police station Tuesday for a glimpse of the bin Laden look-alike.

India has lined up behind the United States-led coalition hunting bin Laden, the prime suspect in the September 11 attacks on New York and Washington who is believed to be hiding in Afghanistan.

India has itself been on heightened alert since the attacks. Last week, authorities ordered commandos to storm an Alliance Air jet believing it to have been hijacked. It later turned out to have been a false alarm.


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[bearkat77]

Return of the Jedis

Jedi Knights have gained official recognition as a religion in the UK Census 2001, according to The Register. Coming very near the bottom of an official list of religions put out by the Statistics Office, Jedi Knight is known by the code 896. Heathen comes in at 897. Followed by Atheist at 898 and lastly None with 899. It's not exactly a ringing endorsement though since the 800s come after every other religion, no matter how obscure, and 700 is used for all "other religions".

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Family Left Queasy by Potato Chip Surprise

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A Swedish family, puzzled why the potato chips they were eating tasted a bit spicier than usual, were left feeling queasy when they found a dead mouse at the bottom of the bag, a newspaper reported Monday.

"We nearly threw up when we saw it. Just the thought of having put crisps that came from that bag into my mouth made me ill," Laila Axelsson told Trollhattans Tidning.

"They tasted funny and chewy, a bit extra-spicy," her daughter Sandra said.

Scientists said the animal, found in a packet manufactured by Swedish crisp-maker Estrella, looked dried-up or fried.

It was unclear how the mouse ended up in the bag.

"We have machines scanning our bags for foreign objects. This is something which must have happened after the bag left the factory," Estrella product developer Harald Osa said.

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[bearkat77]

A contestant for Miss France has been disqualified after having her spine stretched in order to appear taller. Organizers say the extra 3.8 centimetres gave Aurelie Brun an unfair advantage and is against the rules. The contestant had the operation in order to enter the contest, which required a minimum height of 1.72 metres. On the strength of her extra centimetres she won the title Miss Loire-Forez in September and entered the rounds for the Miss France contest. One of Brun's competitors guessed her secret and told organizers. According to reports, Aurelie has 'shrunk' back to her normal size since being disqualified, and is no longer tall enough to take part anyway.

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Portuguese, U.S. Troops Fight Over Bin Laden Salute

LISBON (Reuters) - U.S. soldiers attacked a Portuguese soldier who gave a mock salute to a television picture of Osama bin Laden at the Lajes NATO base in the Azores islands, state radio said Monday.

RDP radio said the soldier raised his hand in jest when he saw a television broadcast in the base's American club showing bin Laden, whom the United States blames for the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington which killed thousands.

"Several G.I.s jumped on the Portuguese soldier and beat him violently until other Portuguese soldiers appeared and a real pitched battle ensued," RDP said.

"American and Portuguese police were called and 30 were needed to end the fight, and even then they only restored order by drawing their weapons," the report added.

Defense Ministry officials were not immediately available for comment on the incident. RDP said the Portuguese soldier who gave the joke salute was arrested.

RDP said the brawl was the latest in a series of verbal and physical confrontations between troops stationed at Lajes, where tension has increased since September 11.


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[bearkat77]

Cakes and Ale

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated):
"Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale."

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

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Man Murders Wife Over 'Disgusting Coffee'

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man said Monday he had killed his 72-year-old wife after she made him a bad cup of coffee, Italian news agency ANSA reported.

"The coffee was disgusting. I drank a little then I picked up the cup and smashed it on the floor," the 84-year-old told prosecutors in Bari, on Italy's southern heel, the agency said.

A neighbor discovered the wife's body Sunday afternoon and alerted the police. The man was arrested on suspicion of murder.

The man later confessed he had hidden the murder weapon -- a hammer -- and blood-sodden clothes he had worn when he killed her, ANSA said.



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Man Murders Wife Over 'Disgusting Coffee'

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man said Monday he had killed his 72-year-old wife after she made him a bad cup of coffee, Italian news agency ANSA reported.

"The coffee was disgusting. I drank a little then I picked up the cup and smashed it on the floor," the 84-year-old told prosecutors in Bari, on Italy's southern heel, the agency said.

A neighbor discovered the wife's body Sunday afternoon and alerted the police. The man was arrested on suspicion of murder.

The man later confessed he had hidden the murder weapon -- a hammer -- and blood-sodden clothes he had worn when he killed her, ANSA said.



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